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Thread: A comprimise with my wife...

  1. #1
    Senior Member kimmy p's Avatar
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    A comprimise with my wife...

    As many of you know my costume this year was a French Maid, and I wore it to a friends house party last week. I was supposed to wear it out to a local pub tonight also. Well to be honest it made my wife uncomfortable. She looked at me nearly in tears last night a told me she thought that it was too short, looked too kinky, and she was simply afraid of problems if I wore it where a lot of drinking was going on. What could I say, I love my wife and didn't want her unhappy for my sake, and won't wear the costume. What I am doing though is going completely opposite. I'm dressing as Kim. I am going to wear clothes that any normal lady would wear out to a pub. I am wearing beaded jeans, moderate heels, and my wife just bought me a new pink striped blouse while we were out today. Instead of wearing the attention grabbing costume I am going to take this opportunity to see how well I can pass and blend in with the public. I'm at least as excited about this as I was about the maids costume. Let's see how well I do.

    Please pardon the misspelling of compromise in the title.
    Last edited by kimmy p; 10-30-2010 at 02:38 PM.

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member tommi's Avatar
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    Sounds like an awesome comprimise to me .
    Staying in the closet isn't so bad as long as you know why your in there.

  3. #3
    A Brave Freestyler JohnH's Avatar
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    I wish my wife would work with me instead of totally disapproving of my cross dressing. At least I don't have anything hidden.
    John (Legal name)

    Preferred pronouns: he, his, him

  4. #4
    Just Being Me Paula G's Avatar
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    I'm glad you listened to your wife. It will benefit both of you in the long run.

  5. #5
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    Im new to forum and there's alot about comprimise with SO. I think I will learn alot from all of you.

  6. #6
    Silver Member Amy Hepker's Avatar
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    Going against a wife or SO will surely end a relationship. You have to respect her wishes no matter how much you want to do something. Be very glad that she will let you dress up at all and enjoy. Be very aware of anything she says she does not want you to do when you are dressed. GGs can get upset when their male pushes to hard or does things she does not want you to do.
    Ladies have a GREAT time!
    Smile GOD LOVES you!!!
    GOD BLESS US ALL!!!
    AMY Hepker

    ROSES ARE RED
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    I'LL BE ME
    AND YOU BE YOU

  7. #7
    fearless transowman juno's Avatar
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    My wife also dislikes anything that is too sexy/kinky, but she often has fun when I dress tastefully. You also don't want to give your wife or anyone else that you are looking for sex, so avoiding sexy clothes in public is a good idea. A crossdresser's SO already has enough to deal with. I have some sexy clothes, but only for wearing at home. It is a trivial compromise for an accepting SO.
    Juno Michelle Krahn

    Normal people are weird. Stealth is another word for "in the closet".

  8. #8
    Gold Member Alice B's Avatar
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    I think it is a smart decision that will help your position as a dresser with your wife, And you will have lots of fun.

  9. #9
    Member LeannL's Avatar
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    I hope you bought your wife her favorite beverage since you have a wife that not only goes along with your dressing, she is worried about your safety while you are dressed. Give her a big hug and don't let go. You don't want to loose such a wonderful person.

    Leann
    Leann

    Enjoy who you are but stay safe.

  10. #10
    Senior Member kimmy p's Avatar
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    Guess What, I passed!

    At least most of the time. I went out with my wife just dressed casually as described above. Nice ladies jeans, a undershirt/cami/something with a built in molded in bra, and my new blouse that my wife bought me this afternoon. Fully made up, and wearing a nice pair of heels. Heck, I even wore my glasses since I can't see without them. After deciding to listen to my wife and not wear my maids costume I went as far the other way as possible and tried to blend into the background. I was read several times, and I had to provide ID to get my hard cider (YUM!). But for the most part people didn't even look twice at me. I didn't participate in the costume contest tonight since I didn't feel like I was wearing a costume, but I was glad to see a sister win with her Playboy Bunny costume. And I was EXTREMELY glad to see some younger GG's (late teens early twenty's) fawn all over her and compliment her costume. Tolerance was a given with these young ladies. They kindly asked our bunny sister to have their picture taken with her. A friend of mine let me know that she had been a "serious" CD'er for decades and it showed in the quality and details of her presentation. After we left we drove a bit further downtown to a local chocolatier. We parked about a block away and walked to the store. Downtown has quite a few clubs and bars now. And with Halloween on a Sunday all the parties were tonight. No one even looked funny at me. I was ecstatic! When my wife and I entered the store for desert the nice young lady looked at both of us, smiled, and said "can I help you ladies" without a hint of realizing I'm not a GG. I may be carrying on too much here but I am so thrilled, and feel that I have never looked so genuine as I did tonight. I'm attaching a couple of pictures, but as always I won't keep them up for long. Still paranoid I guess. Thanks for reading the long rambling post.
    Last edited by kimmy p; 11-02-2010 at 11:20 AM.

  11. #11
    Senior Member kimmy p's Avatar
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    By the way, this is the second time I have worn this wig since I bought it. I love it. Not expensive and looks really nice. It's from a company called Sisswig and you can find them on E-bay. They ship out of China though so it takes a while to get to you.

  12. #12
    What is normal anyway? Rianna Humble's Avatar
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    Kimmy, what a great example of how much your wife loves you! And kudos to you for having the sense to listen to her feelings.

    I'm sure that this weekend will help her to feel more at ease with you dressing and that you'll have endless fun going shopping with your wife in the future.
    Check out this link if you are wondering about joining Safe Haven.

    This above all: To thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any

    Galileo said "You cannot teach a man anything" and they accuse ME of being sexist

    Never ascribe to malice that which can be easily explained by sheer stupidity

  13. #13
    Aspiring Member
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    Goood plan Kimmy, compromise with the S/O is always a good idea. BTW I think your wig looks great!

    Danielle

  14. #14
    Silver Member AKAMichelle's Avatar
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    shame on you for misspelling. I hate that you can't edit the heading after you post because I have done it too.

    Go on out and have some fun. You are doing so well.
    Michelle

  15. #15
    Silver Member Tina B.'s Avatar
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    It was a good plan all the way around, you look great, very passable, and it sounds like a good time was had by all!
    Tina B.

  16. #16
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    Hi Kimmy

    Great looking pictures and a great story give your wife a big hug for all of us she's s keeper.

    Orchid

  17. #17
    Aspiring Member Christy_M's Avatar
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    I can certainly attest that compromise will keep the relationship stronger. My wife and I have a list of dos and don'ts and I try to stay to that list. It sometimes seems a little restricitng but at least I get to dress periodically and keep my family. Well worth the little restrictions from compromise. Congratulations on getting out and passing. Your pictures look great. I like the wig also.

  18. #18
    Joanie sterling12's Avatar
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    And there's a Lesson to be learned here. (If your a bit sneaky!) To Wit: "In just about any situation, go over The Top!" In This Case, it was The French Maid outfit, but we could make it work for about anything. Then when your Partner "freaks out," you then offer WHAT YOU REALLY WANTED as a "Compromise!" I'll bet it works just about every time.

    Get The "New Car Feeling?" Start yakking about wanting to own an 80K Corvette and hangin' out in Lounges! By The Time you offer "The Compromise," of a new SUV; your Hubby will practically roll right over to avoid The Vette, and you get Your New "Four Wheel Drive Tractor with windows. "

    I just wonder why I didn't figure this out with My Two Previous Marriages. (Smacks Head,) Boy was I dumb!

    Peace and Love, Joanie
    Last edited by sterling12; 11-01-2010 at 02:36 AM.

  19. #19
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    you are lucky kimmie, my wife would never understand.

  20. #20
    Platinum Member
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    Your wife has great taste and good judgement. I know many of us love to dress up in sexy outfits, but personally, I think these are best reserved to intimate settings. But in public, what could be more satisfying than being well dressed and together, blending in and spending quality time with your SO!

  21. #21
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    I agree. Sometimes, rather than be noticed, the biggest thrill is to have any aspect of my femininity recognised by my wife, and accepted as normal. As soon as I push too hard, she lets me know she is uncomfortable. Blending in and 'just being yourself' is a great way to be.

  22. #22
    Just getting my feet wet Marie-Elise's Avatar
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    My wife and I had another talk last night and she made me very happy. She told me that she support me in my crossdressing but has figured out a couple of her boundaries.

    The first is that she does not want my dressing up to be simply a sexual thing. She says that if I am going to dress up, I should also do it when we are just hanging out around the house watching a movie or something. I like that.

    Her second boundary is that I should not go out in public dressed as a girl. We live in a pretty conservative part of the country and she is afraid of violence since I cannot pass with my beard. And she loves the beard so I should not shave it off.

    I can handle that. I love the first boundary because I have always wished I could just hang out at home en femme, as they say. The second boundary is realistic and, for my safety and hers, she is right. I have no problem with it.

    So, I think the priginal poster got a good compromise.

    Oh, and after my wife told me this, she turned back on her way out of the room and said, "I need to take your measurements. I want to make a mini skirt for you."

  23. #23
    What is normal anyway? Rianna Humble's Avatar
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    That's great yangstyle! I hope you have found a creative way to show her how much you appreciate her!
    Check out this link if you are wondering about joining Safe Haven.

    This above all: To thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any

    Galileo said "You cannot teach a man anything" and they accuse ME of being sexist

    Never ascribe to malice that which can be easily explained by sheer stupidity

  24. #24
    mini kilted chick t-girlxsophie's Avatar
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    Marriage is all about compromise,It keeps everything between you on a sound footing,Great that you were Attentive to your Wifes fears,and It seems that everything worked out great for you.My wife always has a comment about what outfit I wear when going out,And you know what she's Invariably ALWAYS right

    Sophie
    We look to Scotland,for all our Ideas of Civilisation-Voltaire

    ========================================

    A woman who loves to wear beautiful clothes is like a flower.
    A man who loves to emulate these women is a special flower-a rose
    Facebook:Sophie Johnson

  25. #25
    New Member crossdressed4fun's Avatar
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    your wife is awsome, i only wish my girlfriend did the same. But, i love her and i want to be with her, she does know about me, but doesnt approve of it very much. other than my shaving

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