I was the prettiest girl in the world until...

[JulieC]

The thing is, I doubt they'll make any public apology. It's pretty simple. To do so is to expose them to some serious consequences in a lawsuit. The right thing to do is to admit they were utterly, completely wrong. But, companies are run by $$$. To admit wrongdoing would be to throw away a significant chunk of money. Their lawyers are almost definitely telling them to publicly shut up about this, and keep it that way, until (at least) it is certain a lawsuit isn't going to be filed, or a lawsuit has completed.

Their postings on their facebook profile are exactly in line with that. No admittance of wrondoing, an abstract stance on their policy, and they are 'investigating'. You will NOT get anything more from them.

That, to me, is why a lawsuit is so important here. All they've done so far is to attempt damage control. They're terrified of an expanded class action lawsuit, which is why they're having their employees sign the notice (if they're telling the truth about that, and it's not just one store). This is how corporations work. Look at how Toyota handled the mass recall; did everything they could to protect their pile of cash. There's thousands of other examples. Ross will act no differently. Count on it.

There will be no public apology. There will be no public admittance of wrongdoing.

[Christy_M]

I just received an e-mail from their customer service representative with the same canned response from their Facebook post. I am reviewing the Washington RCW and trying to detremine if their is anyway to make this complaint without outing myself to my job, my friends and even my wife and kids friends and family. These issues all weigh heavily on how I proceed. I can't put my family through this without damaging them or my relationship with them. They shouldn't have to carry my cross and I would never want them to have to answer for my life. I will find an attorney in the next few days and and find out what my options are.

I am humbled in the presence of giants here. You are all so beautiful in your help and support of me and I just want to live up to the hope you have given me through this ordeal. You have given me courage and have made my voice so much louder than it would have been had I been alone throughout these past few days. I have managed to stop the uncotrollable sobbing and breakdowns and have been able to bury these emotions enough to actually return to work. Although, I am sitting here on the forum instead of working. Tomorrow should be a better day.

Thank you so much for all the support. It is truly overwhelming the love and friendship I feel I have received. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I wish I will be able to give back as much as has been given to me.

With much love and admiration,
Christy

[JulieC]

I just received an e-mail from their customer service representative with the same canned response from their Facebook post.

Sigh. Well, this is preciesly why we all here need to bear down on Ross even harder than we already have. Their continued response to this is predictable (see my earlier posts) but unacceptable.

I am reviewing the Washington RCW and trying to detremine if their is anyway to make this complaint without outing myself to my job, my friends and even my wife and kids friends and family. These issues all weigh heavily on how I proceed. I can't put my family through this without damaging them or my relationship with them. They shouldn't have to carry my cross and I would never want them to have to answer for my life. I will find an attorney in the next few days and and find out what my options are.

This is precisely what you should do. Many lawyers offer a 1/2 hour consultation for free. It's good business for them, as they can get a shot at representing cases where they can make $$$. This is just such a case. Not sure what the punitive limits are in Washington, but I imagine it would be substantial. That should make a lawyer quite interested. A lawyer can also advise you as to how to proceed in such a way to keep yourself anonymous in these proceedings.

I am humbled in the presence of giants here. You are all so beautiful in your help and support of me and I just want to live up to the hope you have given me through this ordeal. You have given me courage and have made my voice so much louder than it would have been had I been alone throughout these past few days. I have managed to stop the uncotrollable sobbing and breakdowns and have been able to bury these emotions enough to actually return to work. Although, I am sitting here on the forum instead of working. Tomorrow should be a better day.

This sort of psychological damage is precisely why Ross needs to be brought to the table over this. A little "we're investigating" message is a continued insult and slap in the face.

Again, just imagine for a moment what their response would be if instead of a transgendered person being in the middle of this, it was a black woman that had been thrown out. They wouldn't be "investigating". They're getting away with this because transgendered people are an extreme minority that they think most people won't care two rips if they are discriminated against. Hate is hate, no matter from what quarter it comes, or towards what quarter it is given. It is the same tyrannical principle.

[Jay Cee]

What they did was wrong on so many levels. They elevated a totally non threatening situation to something just short of a bomb threat. They drew attention to you in a negative way. And, ironically enough, they drew a lot of negative publicity to their own store. Bad karma for them, Kristy. Two thumbs up for you, for walking out with your head up high. And a hug for comfort.

[JulieC]

I've just posted to their facebook page, noting the parallel to throwing a black woman out of their store for being black.

[Rianna Humble]

I continue my policy of following up sycophantic prais with a question about their refusal to condemn unlawful discrimination.

[Christy_M]

I just made an internet request for assistance from the ACLU of Washington. Their site says it could take 3 to 6 weeks to get back to me. I will also try to find an attorney who specializes in human/civil rights issues. As the day progresses, my emotions are spinning. hurt, disgust, anger, shame, embarassment, et al. I don't want to make emotional decisions on this and I am not sure where that line gets drawn. Wrong is wrong and so many people not directly involved can see this maybe a little clearer than I. If I had to state a desired outcome form this, acceptance - both personal and community acceptance. Is this really the issue that brings that on? how long were laws in place for racial equality and yet we still struggle with it throughout the country. I want to take this step for all of us but I am certainly scared of what this will do to my life. As I consider this I hit the send button on the ACLU request knowing it is a step I cannot take back. maybe this ball won't be as big as it already seems...even if it is, I won't stop it from rolling where it needs to go.

[MandyLee]

don't let that beep beep stop you. I will never set foot in a ross again

[Juliana Hart]

Way to go Christy. I support your decision to at least make the inquiry and move forward how ever you choose. I'm not sure if acceptance of the transgendered lifestyle is the root of this issue as is discrimination. You were clearly discriminated against and humiliated in one of most egregous ways I have ever seen. I'm sure if we turned the clock back a generation or two, some of the minorities would have similar stories. I'll mention this again...it's 2010 for heanens sake. Stay strong as you can be assured there are plenty of us that support you.

[CatAttack]

Hey I keep reading about a response from Ross as posted by kittykitty but can't seem to find it. What was Ross's response? I want to know [will probably be mad after reading it though]..

[Stephanie Anne]

Just wanted to update on my email reply from Ross:

Dear Stephanie:

Thank you for your email.

At Ross Dress for Less, we take all of our customers’ shopping experiences very seriously.
We have an inclusive policy and value and respect all of our customers. We are investigating the incident you referred to and following up with the staff member.


We will also be sending a reminder to all of our stores reiterating this policy.

If you have additional questions or concerns, we encourage you to contact a Ross Customer Service representative at xxx-xxx-xxxx


Kind Regards,

Valorie Wilkinson
Customer Service

I removed the numbers just to be respectful

Oh and the response kittkitty was referring to is na email response form the facebook page of Ross.

Edit: Mandy, I think never setting foot into a Ross again is a tad harsh. this seems to be one incident that, while horrible and they should be sued for allowing someone like that to work for them, is not indicative of Ross as a whole.

[AKAMichelle]

Here is my email that I sent them:

[SIZE=5]Ross Dress For Less[/SIZE]

18520 33rd Avenue W # A, Lynnwood, WA 98037-4726 (425) 771-0607 ()

Throwing a Transgendered person out of the store because they wanted to try on clothes is a terrible event. This manager made matters much worse by the way it was handled. I run a group of over 150 transgendered persons in Denver and we will boycott your stores buying both our female and male clothes there unless this problem is resolved. I have shopped in your store in Fort Collins was treated with absolute respect but this store apparently needs some training to handle Transgendered persons. I hope that this gets corrected without the need of telling others in other cities about your companies policy of intolerance. That policy will result in people not shopping with your stores all across the country.

Michelle Tayloe

I got the same response as Stephanie Anne. Maybe they understand now that this issue was mishandled and has the power to disrupt their company nationwide.

I hope you get at least an apology from them, but I wouldn't hold your breath. At the very least, you can take comfort that the manager was made to feel very uncomfortable by all of the attention that occured. It probably will cost them a pay raise or promotion.

[Christy_M]

Stephanie Anne,

Your response appears identical to my response except mine was from the Customer Service Manager.

Dear Christy,

Thank you for your email. At Ross Dress for Less, we take all of our
customers' shopping experiences very seriously.

We have an inclusive policy and value and respect all of our customers.
We are investigating this incident referred to and following up with the
staff member.
We will also be sending a reminder to all of our stores reiterating this
policy.

If you have additional questions or concerns, we encourage you to
contact a Ross Customer Service representative.

Kind Regards,

Kerry Gonzalez
Manager of Customer Service
Store Operations

They have obviously given their team a script which any good legal department would draft and recommend. Here is the FB post by Ross

Ross Dress for Less: We appreciate the feedback of our Ross Stores Facebook audience. Ross Stores takes our customers’ shopping experience very seriously. We have an inclusive policy and value and respect all of our customers. We are investigating this incident and following up with the staff member. We will also be sending a reminder to all of our stores reiterating this policy. We encourage customers who have questions or concerns to contact Ross Customer Service.

Does anyone remember the term circling the wagons? This is clearly the Ross strategy right now. You really can't blame them for trying to minimize exposure and still try to calm the affected/disgruntled parties. I have to admit, up until Tuesday, I was pretty gruntled...

[Sarah Welch]

I found some interesting reading about Ross and a little insight into their corporate culture.

http://www.consumeraffairs.com/retail/ross.html

It's all about the money here folks, pure and simple. Until they are hit in the bottom line there will be little to sway how they do business.

[jennifer1965]

Here's a wikipedia link about Ross.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ross_Dress_For_Less

I disagree with whoever said a boycott is too harsh. The company has $6.5 billion -- yes billion -- in revenue in 2009 and $300 million in net income. It will sweep this horrible incident under the rug. And run Christy over with lawyers. I say hit them as hard as we can in their pocketbook! This incident should be raised at all annual tg/ts/tv conferences and we should all stand united to support Christy.

[Victoria Anne]

Christy I am appalled by what I have read , the treatment you received was completely uncalled for , there response is in my opinion unsatisfactory and I will be sending my own e-mail momentarily . You have my support and respect , keep your head high you are a lovely woman .

[lisalove]

You know they can delete all the posts they want on their Facebook page, but they can't touch any posts on somebody elses page. Something along the lines of Trans Community Against Ross Dress For Less.
Perhaps you all saw the news story about a Kalamazoo college student that started his own page against a local tow company for ripping him off. That page helped get things rolling with the local gov, and in turn that tow company lost their contract with the local gov.

[Debglam]

Christy,

I am SO sorry for what happened to you. This is terrible and as a lawyer I would love to help you but I am just coming to terms with my own identity and am not ready to step forward yet. I can give you some advice though. That Washington State law may be enforceable by the State's Attorney General, probably the Civil Rights Division or something to that effect. You may want to contact them also but I fully understand your position and unfortunately no client means no case. E-mail is great but if you really want an answer you will have to write a letter. I would demand a formal appology from that store manager. I think the real solution here is for group action from some of the TG groups against Ross. Without an individual lawsuit, political pressure needs to be brought to bear.

Keep your head high.
Debby

[RachelDee]

I just wanted to add in my support, while I do not live in the US, this isnt an attitude thats limited by oceans im sure. I was very shocked to read your story, and this is not a way you would ever dream of being treated by staff in a store.

I really hope you get some form of justice of of this. I also think you did very well how you coped with the situation at the time.

[Rianna Humble]

I got the same stock reply as everyone else but mine had the name Valorie Wilson.

I think that they have stopped deleting negative comments from their page as they have seen it only brings more.

Living across the pond, I cannot hit them directly in their cash registers so I'll keep up the pressure by following up on sycophantic postings on their facebook page.

[JustineFallow]

I'm not in the U.S., either, and there isn't a Ross in the state I'm next to (MI), but I wish there were just so I could raise a little hell there, myself. I am SOOO pissed on your behalf, Christy.

[donnalee]

Christy, it sounds like you are suffering from severe emotional trauma resulting from your horrible, damaging and unfair treatment. Ross' response is TOTALLY inadequate; they are not even offering a conditional apology (i.e. "if you were treated badly, then we apologize"), probably because they don't want ANY appearance of guilt. As they pretty much are trying to stall and do nothing (just smile and nod until the crossdresers go away), they need to be hit in the wallet.
Everybody, just repeat after me:
Boycott.
Boycott, boycott, boycott.
BOYCOTT!

[SusanLCD]

I have also had difficulty at Ross Dress for Less in the DFW area. I posted it in another thread, so, won't go into it here. And, it was nowhere near as traumatic as what you've described. Wow! How terribly humiliating!

I agree that boycotting their stores is entirely appropriate. It's apparent from these multiple incidents that this lack of respect is "systemic." Not only don't they support a respectful treatment philosophy, but, their internal promotional practices put unqualified people into authoritative positions. Not a good combination.

I have visited their stores in the past, but, won't do so going forward. I hope we will all consider the same. Vote with your feet.

[linda allen]

Here's a wikipedia link about Ross.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ross_Dress_For_Less

I disagree with whoever said a boycott is too harsh. The company has $6.5 billion -- yes billion -- in revenue in 2009 and $300 million in net income. It will sweep this horrible incident under the rug. And run Christy over with lawyers. I say hit them as hard as we can in their pocketbook! This incident should be raised at all annual tg/ts/tv conferences and we should all stand united to support Christy.

I don't think a boycott by CDers is going to have an effect on the company. In fact, it will solve their "problem" of having CDers trying on clothes in their dressing rooms.

Far better would be for CDers to visit their stores in great numbers on busy shopping days and make a point of trying on clothes. Going in pairs or groups would make a statement. We don't have to buy, just try them on. OK buy something small just to stay legit.

[linda allen]

I've never been in a Ross store, but wouldn't making all the dressing rooms "non-gender specific" pretty much solve their "problem" ?

Just put all the dressing rooms in one place with individual locks on the doors.