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Thread: I got called, I'm empowered

  1. #1
    Member Sarah Michelle's Avatar
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    I got called, I'm empowered

    Yesterday was my first ever foray out of the house, and just as so many wrote, I went back out tonight. To keep a long story short, I hadn't planned to but there was too much about last night that needed examining.
    I went to the main street of a nearby small city and went for a walk. Dress, pantyhose and low heels, far more comfortable in so many ways. By the end of the walk I was eager to interact with another human being. Away I went to a convenience store for milk, and gum.
    On my way from the coolers to the front, two women came through the door. Both looked at me and one commented "I see the ladies are out tonight". I ignored them, went to the counter, paid for my purchase and headed for the door. From my right somewhere I heard, "See I told ya, that's a man".
    I have never dealt well with embarrassment. it has kept me from doing many things in my life, but a funny thing happened on the way to the door. I honestly didn't feel embarassed. I didn't flush. My heart didn't race. I didn't shake.
    I am empowered. It was my choice to go out dressed as I was. I knew the facade was a weak one, in need of work and practise, but I didn't crumble and that makes me happy.
    All the way home I slammed them for being candidates for Walmart People but that's another story...
    Sarah M..,
    Women's clothes? I don't put them on, I just grew into them.
    http://sarahjanus.wordpress.com
    www.facebook.com/sarah.m.janus

  2. #2
    Member Being Paige's Avatar
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    way to go Sarah! Good for you.

  3. #3
    Member Laura Jane's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sarah Michelle View Post
    From my right somewhere I heard, "See I told ya, that's a man".
    Why not take the positive spin from that, that you had "Fooled" his companion!

  4. #4
    Member Tanya C's Avatar
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    It sounds like your confidence is high, and that is of major importance when going out.
    Good for you Sarah.

  5. #5
    Silver Member Amy Hepker's Avatar
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    When I was out I felt Proud not embarrassed to be dressed as a female. Even if people do know I am a guy in female clothing did not bother me, just hold your head high and be thankful you can be who you really are. If you want to blend in instead of stand out you may want to stick to Girl Jeans and a nice Top. You will be accepted by females and males like that. I am glad you had a good time and hopefully you will go out more. Just remember most Ladies do not wear dressed to go to WalMart or convenience stores. I think you will enjoy your time more by blending in not sticking out.
    Ladies have a GREAT time!
    Smile GOD LOVES you!!!
    GOD BLESS US ALL!!!
    AMY Hepker

    ROSES ARE RED
    VIOLETS ARE BLUE
    I'LL BE ME
    AND YOU BE YOU

  6. #6
    Formerly Deborah Whitney
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sarah Michelle View Post
    ... "See I told ya, that's a man"...
    Yeah, I've heard that one before. Good on ya dealing with it clearly, it can be pretty hard to hear.

  7. #7
    happy to be her Sarah Doepner's Avatar
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    I'm impressed with your attitude. It's always been said we can't control how people respond to us. We can only control how we respond to them. You've not only taken the high road, but you have set your confidence level to a much higher level.
    Sarah
    Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.

  8. #8
    Member Lainie's Avatar
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    Good for you! I have often gone out dressed, never passed for a moment. Sometimes I'm scared, but almost everyone either ignores me or goes along with the fun. And almost everyone follows the old adage, the customer is ways right!

    Lainie

    You're only young once, but you can be immature forever!

  9. #9
    Just finding my way.... StaceyJane's Avatar
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    Practice, practice, practice.
    The only way to get better is to keep going out.
    Stacey

    I'm not a doctor, I just play one on TV.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wob7zmvVTb8

  10. #10
    Senior Member StacyCD's Avatar
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    Our worst fears are seldom realized when out dressed. It's great that you turned what many fear into something empowering! CONGRATULATIONS! I seldom fool anyone who looks closely, all I ask is to be treated with respect and I don't care if anyone sees me as a guy in a dress!

  11. #11
    Gold Member Diane Smith's Avatar
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    It is a sign of confidence and emotional maturity to be able to take minor bumps in the road like this in your (high heeled) stride and even be able to laugh about them later. I had a similar experience not long ago, and instead of making me want to run and hide, I was somewhat surprised to discover I just found the whole incident amusing -- both at the time, and later when I remembered it and told others about it. This is progress, although it comes slowly and haltingly for many of us.

    - Diane

  12. #12
    Miss Conception Karren H's Avatar
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    Who really cares what anyone says..... I sure don't!
    Current Obsession - Breasts and Lingerie!

    .......My Photos

  13. #13
    Senior Member
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    Yay you go girl.

  14. #14
    Chickie Chickhe's Avatar
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    The best way to go out in public is with the attitude that people will recognise that you are crossdressing... that way if anyone says anything it is them stating the obvious... no need to be offended. Some of the reactions can be intertaining. You just need a positive attitude and remember you have the right to go where you want.
    Chickie

  15. #15
    Silver Member Starling's Avatar
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    Sarah, when those peeps said, "I see the ladies are out tonight," they recognized you as part of life's parade. That's acceptance, honey, even if it's expressed a bit crudely.

    And when you heard, "See I told ya, that's a man," that meant your gender had been subject to dispute.

    Sounds like a highly successful outing to me.

    Lallie
    Time for a change.

  16. #16
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sarah Michelle View Post
    but a funny thing happened on the way to the door. I honestly didn't feel embarassed. I didn't flush. My heart didn't race. I didn't shake.
    I am empowered. It was my choice to go out dressed as I was. I knew the facade was a weak one, in need of work and practise, but I didn't crumble and that makes me happy.
    That's wonderful, Sarah!
    Reine

  17. #17
    What is normal anyway? Rianna Humble's Avatar
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    Sarah, that's a great outing. Glad you feel more comfortable with the low heels - I find they just make me feel down at heel

    I think you judged your response to that woman at the same level as her IQ - zero! But seriously, you were right to ignore her and I'm so glad you didn't let her get you down.

    The only problem I have with your post is that you ran yourself down by saying "I knew the facade was a weak one" and I don't like to see that. OK you might have room for improvement, but don't we all (no matter how good we are)?

    Please concentrate in your own mind on the positives from this trip out. You had a good time, you were treated respectfully by the SA in the store, you didn't run and hide as soon as some idiot called you in fact - unlike your male self - you refused to let them embarrass you, and you had a good tale to share with and encourage your friends on here
    Check out this link if you are wondering about joining Safe Haven.

    This above all: To thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any

    Galileo said "You cannot teach a man anything" and they accuse ME of being sexist

    Never ascribe to malice that which can be easily explained by sheer stupidity

  18. #18
    Silver Member Loni's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amy Hepker View Post
    When I was out I felt Proud not embarrassed to be dressed as a female. Even if people do know I am a guy in female clothing did not bother me, just hold your head high and be thankful you can be who you really are. If you want to blend in instead of stand out you may want to stick to Girl Jeans and a nice Top. You will be accepted by females and males like that. I am glad you had a good time and hopefully you will go out more. Just remember most Ladies do not wear dressed to go to WalMart or convenience stores. I think you will enjoy your time more by blending in not sticking out.
    true but if i wanted to just have a pair of jeans on, i could do that in drab. but then the cut and style of a dress says it all.

    but as the poster said "see i told you it's a guy" that is a good thing to hear, as you are getting the job done if the question is even is needed.

    .

  19. #19
    Member Sarah Michelle's Avatar
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    thanks to all for the positive comments,
    Rianna, I understand your point, I guess what I meant is that I am a work in progress and learning how to do things properly is part of the process. I chose to go out before I was as skilled as I hope to be.
    Karren, you're a pillar of confidence, it's clear in all your posts, it's why I enjoy them so much, but self-esteem is something I'm building
    Loni, you're exactly right, it's the dress et al that makes the moment..
    thanks again everyone for being here, it has changed my world....
    Sarah M..,
    Women's clothes? I don't put them on, I just grew into them.
    http://sarahjanus.wordpress.com
    www.facebook.com/sarah.m.janus

  20. #20
    Member Kathleengurl's Avatar
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    'lo Sarah,

    Thank you for sharing your success. I think you.. I think we all will find a common thread among 'succesful outings' OWN the place you're in. Karin does it, TXKimberly, and so many others do as well. --It frees you up to really enjoy the time en femme.

    Thank you again for your inspiration!
    --Kathleen

  21. #21
    Aspiring Member
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    Great...

    Gosh.
    Last edited by mklinden2010; 11-23-2010 at 05:20 AM.

  22. #22
    Senior Member
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    Sarah, congratulations on staying positive. People sometimes say things just to get a reaction. When they seee they dont bother you, many times they will just leave you alone. All I can say is keep pusing on.

  23. #23
    Senior Age Member sissystephanie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Karren Hutton View Post
    Who really cares what anyone says..... I sure don't!
    I am totally with Karren on this! Since my wife has passed on, I no longer have her help with makeup and my wig. So I just go out dressed totally enfemme, but looking like the man that I am. If people don't like it that is their problem, not mine!!
    Stephanie

    Lady on the outside, but man underneath!

  24. #24
    Junior Member rocktheplank's Avatar
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    That is so awesome to hear Sarah! You go girl! It is so great that could do that, I would never be able to just say nothing to those ladies, way to hold you head high!
    Always with love... from Sexy Lexxi!

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