[SIZE="2"]The same polarizing words (or terms) are bandied about day after day, week after week, and month after month. I thought I would put them all together for discussion and start the ball rolling. We all have our own opinions about the following:
Tranny
I like the term, short for transvestite. I picked it up on a UK site and it stuck. The other day a GG member wondered if wearing baggy, male sweaters constituted crossdressing. Yes, by definition, which is why I prefer tranny to crossdresser – it specifies what I do quite nicely, thank you, and I transvest often. Crossdressing is a blanket term, perfectly correct for an all-encompassing site like this one. To some people, transvestites are males who dress in female clothing to have sex with other males. Not that it matters, but I beg to differ. I’ve heard the exact same definition for crossdresser, so what’s in a word? I admit that transvestite has a certain clinical chill to it, but “tranny” is downright cute and delightful...
Drag
Drag, by definition, is a term used for any clothing carrying symbolic significance but usually referring to the clothing associated with one gender role when worn by a person of the other gender. Can you say “crossdressing?” The term may have originated in Athens, Greece in the fourth century BCE when it was common practice for gender-nonconforming people to be dragged through the streets as punishment. A late 20th-century definition makes "drag" an abbreviation of "dressed as girl" in description of male transvestism. Every time I hear the word drag, I immediately think a) “It’s a drag,” meaning not pleasant, b) I’m pulling someone or something somewhere, or c) where on Earth did this term come from, anyway? Well, now I know...
Drab
Did you know that “drab” used to mean a prostitute? In our case, drab means “dressed as a boy,” or just plain dull and monotonous – you know, lacking brightness. Wearing your male clothing is an act of drabness, carrying with it an attendant feeling of mental torture as we dream of the next moment we can blissfully be en femme. I see that drab is also a dull, yellowish color, and this is just one of the many unexciting hues you can look forward to as you choose your male wardrobe. If a man wears brightly colored clothing in the real world it carries with it certain curious...connotations. Are you prepared to explain your chromatic apart-ness to all concerned? Even if you wear a little bit of color, on the wrong occasion, in front of the wrong people, you may be suspect. This is precisely why individuality is a good thing, I feel...
Fetish
This is any object, animate or inanimate, regarded with a feeling of awe, as if it has magical powers. If you give excessive devotion or blind adoration to this venerated object, you are a practicing fetishist. Fetish can also mean any nonsexual object that excites erotic feelings, which leads to fetishism. We MtF cossdressers discuss our many fetishes all the time, be they nylons, panties, dresses, heels, or whatnot. Personally, I worship my skirts, and I believe they have magical powers. This comes from a lifetime of having to wear pants! It’s always a pleasure to wear one’s fetish and feel transformed. Of course, I think it’s all in the mind, exactly the place that needs healing and comforting the most...
Sissy
A sissy is a boy or a man whose behavior, tastes, or interests seem more feminine than masculine. With this in mind, I am a sissy – my tastes and interests are more feminine than masculine. I wear women’s clothing, and that changes my behavior in ways that can only be described as welcome. Hooray! Sure, I’m still a male, with a certain amount of masculinity, but I embrace my inherent sissy-ness. Does this mean I’m a target for bullies? Of course, but I’ll take my chances, since the benefits outweigh the sacrifices. Do I wish to be like everyone else? No. To quote an absent friend, “You haven’t met a boy like me.” Please don’t be afraid of the word sissy.
Effeminate
You knew this was coming next, right? This means having qualities generally attributed to women, such as gentleness, delicacy, and tenderness. If you are male, and non-confrontational by nature, you are perceived as effeminate, or unmanly. A sissy practices effeminacy, and you can see that wearing women’s clothing may be a step along the path to effemination. If you’re like me, the crossdressing or tranvestism is a result of innate effeminacy – I’m not sure if you can become effeminate by crossdressing alone, but, well, this is a polarizing term that bothers some people. Whenever I hear the term, I immediately think of effeminate gestures and the associations they create in the mind of un-enlightened outsiders, but if you’re trying to talk, or walk, or be like a female, aren’t you engaged in effeminacy?
Fairy
A fairy is an imaginary being or spirit – a small, dainty, delicate human being. It also means (as an outdated slang term) a male homosexual. In today’s world, it’s no good trying to be a delicate human being, and, if you are practicing effeminacy (see above) you will be labeled a "fairy" by those who wish to do you harm. I would dearly love to flutter about the forest in a pretty dress and a pair of delicate fairy wings, waving my magic wand as I float from place to place, but you’re just not allowed to do that in this day and age. Fairyland is a lovely, enchanting place, all in my mind, of course, and I am not supposed to be a fairy. Talk about stigma! This is why I have such a problem with the word “manly,” even though its meaning could be endlessly discussed by all. Fairy is a beautiful word, IMHO, and it sounds like a good occupation for a person like me. In fact, if I were a little boy, knowing what I know now, I would lobby to go out on Halloween dressed as a fairy, not a princess...
Queer
Not my favorite word, not by a long shot. Other than the obvious, it means strange or odd; behaving, acting, or appearing in a manner other than the ordinary, normal, or usual manner. If you are singular, eccentric, droll, unique, whimsical, quaint, or strange, you are queer. My overt queerness is obvious to everyone, since I am an effeminate transvestite, and I’m pleasingly droll. I’m also eccentric and unique, so “normal” is a dirty word. Speaking of words, “droll” means humorously odd, or amusing in a quaint way. A comical person is a drollist: a person who practices drollery, which brings us back to drag, an amusing form of transvestism most people are familiar with. Am I queer? Of course, but not in the traditional, currently accepted definition of the word. Or am I? Since I’m odd, whimsical, quaint, and strange, I’ll keep you all guessing...
Polarize
Let’s look at this word, since it has gained new meaning and popularity in recent times. Polarity means having or showing two contrary qualities, powers, or tendencies. It also means to think, feel, or grow in a certain way, because of (magnetic) attraction or repulsion. For the sake of discussion we can dispense with magnetism and think of two opposite poles – one positive, one negative. In other words: black and white, light and dark, right and wrong. As far as I’m concerned, there’s a lot of territory between the two opposites, or two diametrically distinct viewpoints. I live in this “grey*” area, somewhere near the equator, and I can see where everyone is coming from – words are just words, and it’s interesting to look into these terms we disagree on. I may not share your opinion, but I value it, and I seek to generate meaningful discussion, not conflict. Please tell me how you feel about these polarizing words or terms that we crossdressers hear every day. Keep in mind that I’m an effeminate, queer, and fairy-like sissified tranny who despises drab and wears his/her fetishes with pride, so please don’t drag me through the streets, OK?
*Check it out – an effeminate way to write “gray!”
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I think you are educating many on the words that seem to create drama here and other places. It is very easy to see how I fall into every one of those definitions in some manner. I think the real trouble will begin when people take exception to the conotations those words exact from the societal norms we all deal with daily. Those conotations apply a level of negativity that most just don't want to associate themselves with. "I crossdress but I'm not gay!!" The only reason to say this with emphasis is due to the negative labels society puts on things. "I wear heels but only at home!" "I drink alcohol but don't get drunk!" we can all justify why we do something that isn't perceived to follow what the majority of the population deems appropriate by making it less "bad." It is really masking the action we are doing by pointing out something is worse so ostricize them instead of me. It has to be some form of self preservation. I see this behavior at work everyday on more acceptable issues - "Why are you late?' "Well, Joe came in after me!" "Why did you put this here?" "I only put one of them there, someone else put the other two there." we try to protect ourselves by making someone else's actions seem worse than ours and then let them deal with the fall out that society puts on them for being more grossly different than what we are doing. Of course, what do I know. I only wear women's clothes...I'm not out robbing banks. 
and automotive
then 
Originally Posted by Frédérique
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