It is probably the same for both in terms of a meaningful, long term relationship. At least there are male admirers for gay TVs, there is no large pool of GGs looking for a straight TV.
It is probably the same for both in terms of a meaningful, long term relationship. At least there are male admirers for gay TVs, there is no large pool of GGs looking for a straight TV.
The thing is you don't truly have a choice! These urges/desires are bred into each and everyone of us. The urge to crossdress is not something we choose, it is something that we feel we need. I think the greater question is that if you could choose to be gay, bi or straight you need to add the option to crossdress or not to it. The simplest form of existence is mainstream, a straight non-crossdressing male is my answer. As Karren says (here I go again agreeing with Karren, must be that common hockey player way of thinking) crossdressing complicates any relationship.
Few people, outside of ourselves can comprehend why we feel the need to go through all the effort to put on uncomfortable, restrictive, sometimes hot clothing and spend time doing our makeup, when society doesn't expect us to. I must admit, on the surface it does sound a bit difficult to understand. The part they are missing is that it is an ingrained deep seated basic need otherwise we would take the easy way and just wear pants.
did it not occur to you that gay effeminate men like other gay effeminate men i do ....but i'm easy going i might add
and gay guy's like gay guy's
then there's the gay guy who like the gay effemimate men and so on etc, etc, etc
Last edited by MJ; 11-24-2010 at 09:29 AM.
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Of course Gay men are just as diverse as the rest of the population in their likes, dislikes but I would still suggest that masculine gay men are the "blue eyed blonds" of the LGBTQ world.
I now realize I have fought being gay my entire life, however, I love women too much to be purely gay and I am bisexual. I was 43 before I realized (admitted to myself) that I am bisexual and still the only time I will or want to be with a man is when I am fully dressed. I do not think being a gay crossdresser would be an easier, but I would have enjoyed being a drag queen.
Going back a ways, I thought I was gay. Once I sorted that out, I got fairly comfortable with the notion. However, it eventually occurred to me that I was still definitely attracted to women (physically, emotionally). It was sort of a revelation to consider the idea that one could be attracted to both sexes. We bisexuals are all over the spectrum, but somewhere around 50/50 is about where it sits for me.
So, how does CDing fit into all of this? That seemed to be a relatively easy step. I was already thinking of myself as "other than". That is to say, other than a straight male. It was hardly a speedbump from there to a CDer.
So, how does all this sit from a straight or gay perspective? I don't think you can generalize as to whether being a CDer is easier or harder as a function of sexual preference. It all depends upon the individual, where they are and what their path was to get to where they are. Given all of this variation, it my not be worth spending the time and effort to consider the question...
Katrina, stop worrying about it. Just be you. Sounds like you are bisexual with a preference towards women. I consider myself bi, but I would prefer being in serious relationships with men. So, maybe I have a male preference. Who cares one way or the other? I don't. At the end of the day, you can call yourself gay if you want to...but, you know deep down you like it both ways.
I personally think it would be more miserable trying to be something that you are not. I think being gay is difficult...I think being straight is difficult...I think being bi is difficult...but, the most difficult thing of all is trying to be something that you are not.
xxoo
"Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
“What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck
I definately think being a overt gay man who crossdresses is a lot more acceptable to the general public than a hetro man crossdressing. One of my gay friends attended a gay pride event in drag recently. Our co-workers know he is gay as he is very very camp and openly gay, he does not normally crossdress but when they found out he was in drag they did not bat an eyelid or make any negative comments. Although I am totally hetro I wonder if I could get away with crossdressing in public if I acted openly camp, I am sure I could.
I'm bi.
Took me alot of time getting used to really, considered myself straight but liked to crossdresser but now i'm definetly bi, love bothhaha.
But we are all bi, straights as well. Its society that tries to make us what they want?
I strut my stuff, I feel so proud,
I need to shout, to scream out loud,
I am Tricia I am she,
I am who I want to be
http://tricia-dale.blogspot.com/
????????????????????????Originally Posted by mklinden2010
Kaz xx
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This Woman Within is Flying without Wings
Some of us live in a world that was yesterday, or rather that will soon be yesterday... The earth is moving and I am hopeful that these issues will disappear...
In the meantime... CDs are a strange and wierd bunch of aliens!
Kaz xx
__________________________________________________ ____________
This Woman Within is Flying without Wings
Yes because the person that saw you and was interested enough to make contact would want you to perform all the things he saw in the female, that being you. It could take CDing to a much more feminine level. See georginamiles posts and the change it made in her, for the better!
i was discussing this with my GF and she had some addl thoughts regarding gay men and CDs. She thought that a CD partner might be the perfect "cover" for a guy who wanted to be me with another man, but out in public they might look like any other hetero couple. But back at home with all the clothes off things might be all different.
i suppose thinking about it MJ is quite correct. there probably are gay guys that like effeminate men or maybe they are bi and really like the look and touch of a woman. So that works for them. I suppose at some level i was thinking that most guys would want a masculine athletic type, but maybe that was just my thoughts. I really hadn't pondered that much, just glad i have a GF who tolerates me.
i suppose there is that whole aspect of the general public thinking that everyone who CDs is gay anyway.... a classic misconception
also i liked the sentiment expressed by Shananigans
Last edited by darla_g; 11-25-2010 at 02:30 AM.
Just go with the flow and find someone you're attracted to be it a man or a woman.I sway from liking girls to guys and vice versa.right now I have deep feelings for a guy who I've been intimate with one crazy night but who now insists he's straight.maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and find a girl,who knows
People are strange (to quote Jim Morrison). I think sometimes y'all feel like you are weirder and more on your own than you really are. There are some "interesting" quirks to some CDs...but, I find that most people have pretty interesting quirks. I think most of the time y'all try to dissect everything and come up with a reason, a label, and an explanation for your behaviors...but, sometimes it just is what it is and you have to just be yourself and make yourself happy instead of looking for other people to give you an explanation that probably will not scratch the surface of your true self.
P.S.
That sounded really hippie, but I stand by it.
"Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
“What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck
if one wants to be a dentist when they grow up.. and they go to school... and become a dentist.. then they are a dentist.. but really.. they are not a dentist..
Katrinakat, isn't this a contradiction? There are 3 distinctions here 1) straight e.g. likes women exclusively 2) gay e.g. likes men exclusively 3) bi directional e.g goes in either direction with some variation in percentages from 1 to 99.
Isn't a gay crossdresser really a bi-sexual person? whose percentages vary the same as a straight bi-sexual (no pun intended).
If gay men or lesbians are straight, then their preference would be exclusively straight gay or straight lesbian women. As you start to deviate from the "norm", then the description has to vary with the percentages somewhat.
In fact, is there a straight crossdresser? according to this forum, the answer seems to be NO if we look at the statistics on the threads dating CDs and a number of other threads dealing with CD's prefereing sex with another cd when they are dressed as a female--the classic description of a transvestite (i.e a man dressing as a women to have sex with a man or a closet gay seeking sex with another gay man. Humans are so good at rationalization or finding ways around the self-evident truths.
Unfortunately, there seem to be no purely straight gays on this forum to answer your question, but then it wouldn't make sense to that person would it? because they would not be here if they were straight gay. The answer for them MIGHT be that just being gay was problem enough in a world that doesn't tolerate anything but straight male or female inhabitants on this planet.
Is it better to be rich and anonymous or rich and famous where you can't do anything for fear of your life, wealth or whathaveyou.
You are asking a question that can't be answered becauseif you are not the "other half" of the equation, you cannot know what it is you are responding to.
Immovable object or unstoppable force---it's a trick question.
I wear women's clothing because I like the feel and freedom and whatever, but I CANNOT know what it is that women feel because I was born and raised as a male. NO chemistry or surgery is going to make my brain respond any differently.
(I've just opened my umbrella because I can already see the "rain" coming down. I am a bi person--Cassandra and Pandora at the same time.:
I dont think it gets easier on either side! I think these things too
Honestly, it's no easier either way. Also, it's kinda unfortunate sometimes... but we can't really *choose* to be gay or not. Either we are, or not. But I'm sure we all think about this eventually.
I had an online flirtation going on with another male CD for a while but nothing ever came of it. If I ever was with a man, it would have to be a fellow CD, and a very feminine one at that.
I wonder if you ask because then people would say "oh that's o.k for him to do that, he's gay", as if it is a free pass to act as feminine as you like ? Easier, don't think so, I have a ton of gay friends, male and female (I am straight and work in the entertainment industry) and I always feel for them as they cannot walk around our place of work and enjoy the same "freedoms" that I do. Such as holding my wife's hand, putting my arm around her, kiss her good-bye when I drop her off in her area of work etc ... So while you might think it is easier I think it all comes down to just having the courage to say "screw what people think" and do what you want to do when you want to do it. Gay people go through the same issues straight people do, if you are self conscious/shy you are self concious/shy, gay or straight.
In the end it comes down to respect regardless of race, creed, color of your skin, gender be it real or implied or weather your gay, straight or bi.
Make love not war ...works for me
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I'm very confused by this post. There are lots of straight crossdressers, or are you using a different meaning for the word straight?
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