Who is currently trying to quit?

[Danni Bear]

Uesed to quit at least once a week boy was that expensive! I am personally at the place where I will either miracuously lose the compulsion to be a woman (yeah right) or I will completely lose my mind from trying to surrpress it and do something tragic OR I will continue down the road of self acceptance and discovery.

I've often agonized "if god wanted me to be a girl god would have made me a girl right?" well it turns out that there is this thing called transgendered and THAT is what god made me. Now I wouldn't trade my best moments as April for a life time of ease and comfort cisgendered. Unfortunatly for me ease and comfort aren't my style. I prefer, life long view shattering, preconceived notion destroying, feel like your going to dye, life changing experiences at least once a decade. But that's just me.

April,
you left out my favorite, the falling into a bottomless pit,cataclysmic explosion of joy that comes from dressing.

hugs
Danni

[Nataliebabe]

No one likes a quitter!

[darla_g]

[SIZE=4]Well I just don't get it! If I were trying to quit crossdressing the last thing I would be doing was joining a Crossdressers forum! I mean seriously ,,, did you post that expecting support and encouragement?

If you want to quit, quit but I don't care to hear about it. [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]

Crossdressing like any number of activities is subject to fits of obsession and then there are times you just don't feel motivated to do anything.[/SIZE]

[Noemi]

Dude you can quit. But quitting is on a One Day At A Time Basis. Than you can do it. I quit for many years, about 15 year, and like to think that I chose to dress again because inside there is a lady who needs to express herself, and it just feels so good, and I do get a thrill out of dressing. Than I quit every year and started again, now I am dressed and am enjoying it and have accepted that this is me and there is nothing wrong with me, dressing in fact completes me and I am happy.

I have quit ****ing heroine and cocaine and booze and cigarettes one day at a time for over a decade and have no intention of getting my pretty self involved in any of that false none sense again today. You can step away from Cding if you chose to, you have the choice and can stop dressing. Think it through and you will see that you can indeed stop dressing.

[busker]

I did not say "my life depended on it." I said it is "who I am." Those are two different things. To use the old analogies, suppose you have blue eyes, brown skin, or are left-handed. Does your life depend on it? No, of course not. But it is who you are to be blue-eyed or brown-skinned or left-handed. There's no way to be otherwise, unless you ceased to exist, in which case you wouldn't be anything.

Quite simply, crossdressing emanates from my core. That's how it is for me (in fact I said that: "at least for me"). Perhaps I'm the only person in the world like that? I'm OK with that. If CDing is a hobby for you, then great!

But if my situation causes you to conclude that I'm "beyond the realm of JUST a CDer", then that's your judgment. Please take care doing that to others, because people generally don't like being categorized.

You said " Originally Posted by Amanda22 View Post
Oh, that's good. At least for me,[SIZE="4"] "quitting" would mean no longer living; [/SIZE]there's no other way to not be who I am.

I took that phrase to mean, your life depended on it--that is, living If you couldn'r dress, that day to day life was meaningless.
I haven't concluded anything about you. Just speculated about your place on the rainbow.
As I said, I don't know your history, and your above quoted reply seemed to indicate crossdressing was more that just a fad, fancy or whathaveyou.
No offense meant, I hope none taken. Enjoy.

[Aleca]

One can stop and can quit CDing,it's all a state of mind but it always lurks in the back of my mind of oh how much better life could be if I could CD 24/7, even ultimately transition. What holds me back are usually marriage and church (I think that's the case with almost everyone who is held back). It usually leads to intense anger build up when I don't allow myself to dress up though. Thanks to my mother for overloading me with fear and worry issues growing up.

[aya-chan]

I've tried to quit a few times, at least going for a certain period of time without CD'ing, but I always ended up starting again. Now I've just accepted that I do CD and I'll most likely be doing it for the rest of my life.

[LitaKelley]

I'm trying to quit, but too much crap keeps coming up that requires me to be in guy mode, so quitting right now is impossible... so, I'll do the guy mode thing in moderation just for family shit over the holidays.. but as soon as the the holiday's are over.. HE'S OUTTA HERE... I had enough of him... I'm already going through all his clothes so I can purge them because I need the space for my own stuff

[emilygielen]

I gave up giving up crossdressing...
Since I'm a little kid, I always knew that I was not normal! I used to crossdress couple of time then throwing away all my stuff persuading me that I was a real boy! But I always got back to crossdressing...

Now I've accepted it but I'm still not out to the world. I'm not the happiest boy/girl in the world, but I'm okay with that! At least I'm not hiding myself to me anymore...

[CharlotteCD]

I'm on a 2 month break until my double leg fracture has healed, I am a week into it and it's getting to me already.

I quit for 2 years between 13 and 15 - i didnt even think about getting dressed, it just did nothing for me. Maybe it was the close calls as clothes were found or people came home unexpectedly. I started again with a monthly dressup then weekly for the past 6 months.

It is possible to quit, but as others have said - will you be happy?

[Raychel]

I am very comfortable with my crossdressing, Enjoying my life, But I do have a plan for quitting, I am quitting cold turkey, The same day they put my cold dead body in the ground. From that day on I will no longer be buying new clothes or crossdressing anymore.

[JennSC]

I can't afford to quit.... again!!! LOL How many of you, like me, have given away hundreds of dollars/pounds/shekels, whatever worth of clothing, only to see something in a store, on the net, on a GG, that you just HAD TO HAVE... AH, and once again a joyful slide down the slippery slope... WHEEEEEEEE!!!

Let's face it, honey, if you have been dressing frequently for more than a year, now matter what, you can't put the genie back in the bottle, you can try, you can live in denial, you can bag it up and give it all to Goodwill or the Savlation Army, BUTT.... the genie will poke her head out one day, the urge will hit, you will say to yourself, "I would look great in that," OR, "I would look so much better than HER in that," and there you go... WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!

I think that most of us who have been doing this for a while have been through the "binge and purge" stages multiple times, and with a little experience, wisdom, and most of all acceptance of who we are as our femme self enjoy and revel in the part of our soul that is "her." Mine is much more blended now, and even when in jeans and a t-shirt I subconsciously feel dressed. It is beyond sexual, it is my true gender..... TRANS!

Good luck on the quitting, but I am afraid, that unless is was just a short-lived experiment, like Arnold, "YOU'LL BE BACK!!!"

[Kate Simmons]

The real key to "quitting" is the realization that CDing is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to understanding who we really are. Many unfortunately, never get past the "window dressing" to see the real deal.

[Amanda22]

Just speculated about your place on the rainbow.
As I said, I don't know your history, and your above quoted reply seemed to indicate crossdressing was more that just a fad, fancy or whathaveyou.
No offense meant, I hope none taken. Enjoy.

Hi busker, I apologize for being overly sensitive. You are right though, that crossdressing for me is (much) more than just a fad, fancy, or what-have-you. This puts me toward one end of the spectrum, for sure. It's so interesting how we're all quite different within our little group. I'm definitely not transitioning to becoming a physical female, and never will. For some odd reason, emulating a female while remaining in the body I was born with is "it" for me. It is the destination and feels exactly right. I think I'd probably fall into that last 1% of male crossdressers at the end of the spectrum, where going further would mean contemplating transitioning. Neither I nor my wife want any part of that...

[Marilyn Beck]

So... just curious, who else out there would consider themselves actively trying to quit?

I am not actively trying to quit and doubt that I ever will. But quitting is an option that I continue to consider. While I enjoy CDing immensely, it definitely complicates my romantic, family, social and professional relationships, and it distracts me from participating in other life experiences. I wish my desire to CD would just go away, but that is not going to happen. For now, I have decided that quitting would involve too much effort and would make me very unhappy. Nonetheless, I continue to weigh the pros and cons of CDing, and I struggle to maintain a reasonable balance between CDing and other interests.

[Erica G]

I quit trying to quit many years ago, at some point I finally accepted this is who I am and have been happy ever since.Erica.

[Jane P]

[SIZE=4]Well I just don't get it! If I were trying to quit crossdressing the last thing I would be doing was joining a Crossdressers forum! I mean seriously ,,, [/SIZE]

Oh goodness I feel so foolish now. I know I was not the O P and am a touch too sarcastic , but truly ,I did not realize the errors in my ways.
Foolishly thinking that gaining knowledge about something that affects me could possibly be of any use what so ever. When anyone who knows anything will tell you that only by keeping your eyes and ears closed to the world around you can you truly be happy with who you are.

Now that I know this I can easily get back to the real world and judge others accordingly. Thank you for helping me put my head back in the sand.

[Kaz]

Hi Tosbourne,

I am joining the thread late but I am a late starter! I also had a full day today (GMT).

I really hope you succeed. The trouble is that most people here aren't trying to quit or have tried and failed, etc... Please do not be put off by any negativity, there are trolls everywhere these days!

A lot of people are looking for a model for this. For example, is this an addiction (so we treat it like alcoholism or nicotine addiction); someone on this thread suggested a link to masturbation, i.e. it is a "habit" linked to another and there is an association; there is the view that "it is who I am and I can't change"; and many others no doubt.

The thing is no-one knows! The vast majority of us who quit wind up returning. My only suggestion is that if you do quit and want to stay that way, you need to walk through a door that you will never ever want to go back through. You need to put yourself in a place where that urge to CD is truly unattainable should the urge come back. That will require a strong psychological block.

I am afraid I finally (after years of the usual purging, etc..) decided to feed the demon. I am hoping I will eventually gain control, but at the moment I am enjoying the acceptance and am happier than I have ever been.

[Kaz]

Oh goodness I feel so foolish now. I know I was not the O P and am a touch too sarcastic , but truly ,I did not realize the errors in my ways.
Foolishly thinking that gaining knowledge about something that affects me could possibly be of any use what so ever. When anyone who knows anything will tell you that only by keeping your eyes and ears closed to the world around you can you truly be happy with who you are.

Now that I know this I can easily get back to the real world and judge others accordingly. Thank you for helping me put my head back in the sand.

Hey, Jonnie, You posted while I was typing! Totally agree! I hope my comment isn't taken the wrong way!

[GingerLeigh]

Oh goodness I feel so foolish now. I know I was not the O P and am a touch too sarcastic , but truly ,I did not realize the errors in my ways.
Foolishly thinking that gaining knowledge about something that affects me could possibly be of any use what so ever. When anyone who knows anything will tell you that only by keeping your eyes and ears closed to the world around you can you truly be happy with who you are.

Now that I know this I can easily get back to the real world and judge others accordingly. Thank you for helping me put my head back in the sand.

Bravo! Well played.

[Olivia2]

[SIZE=4]Well I just don't get it! If I were trying to quit crossdressing the last thing I would be doing was joining a Crossdressers forum! I mean seriously ,,, did you post that expecting support and encouragement?

If you want to quit, quit but I don't care to hear about it. [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]

With all due respect, if topics sincerely generated concerning CDing can't be safely brought in here, where could one go? I'll repeat what I posted earlier which was buried in my earlier and too long post.

I think it is a forum for all interested persons, those who want to quit, those who have no desire to quit, those who have accepted themselves and are at peace, and those for whom quitting is irrelevant (TS/TG persons and any others who identify outside my limited descriptors. As long as all are respected, than discussions like this can be useful for some of us.

Just my opinion, I know, but I hope it is shared by others.

[Marilyn Beck]

With all due respect, if topics sincerely generated concerning CDing can't be safely brought in here, where could one go? .... Just my opinion, I know, but I hope it is shared by others.

Well said, Olivia2, and I couldn't agree more. This thread is irrelevant for many, but it provides very useful insights for some of us.

[sterling12]

OK, here is The Problem! You can "abstain/refrain" from dressing, but your still going to be a transgendered/transsexual/crossdressing person! We are kind of playing a game with semantics, but what ultimately counts is What is Going on Inside Your head! And, I think that you will find it impossible to "banish" The Thoughts, The Emotions, The Desires.

I think that you have A Gut Feeling, that to stop The Dressing will somehow make all The Bad Feelings go away. There certainly is NO Evidence that is going to happen. Yes The Accounts are anecdotal, but over and over again we read a personal story from hundreds of T-Persons, and it's always the same, "I quit dressing for years/months/days, but The FEELINGS never went away/came back, and now it's worse than ever!" So, to use your and many other's terminology, "quiting" is about certain to not stop all The Perceived Problems you associate with Crossdressing. Because you haven't Quit....your just not dressing!

What to do? Gosh, I'm not an "Expert" but the only thing I can imagine is a Compromise. Accept that in your Head, you'll always have feminine feelings, and if you don't express them through dressing, find some other alternative that WILL work to keep all The Brain Hassles under some sort of control. You try to completely expunge your femme-self, prepare for alternatives like anti-depressants, divorce, and things that could even be worse. Try to at least accept IN YOUR HEAD that "this is who I am!" Maybe you can make that work. Good Luck!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[kristinacd55]

Well, if i could stop breathing and live I'd give up cding.......

[Loni]

quit...well most anything is possible.
but why would you want to squash part of who and what you are? to be a cross-dresser - transsexual - (enter life) is just how we are hard wired.
but if you must change your self, then first you will need a support group of former (***) to help you.

just like stopping smoking you need support and to keep away from the areas and people who enjoy the subject.
it will be very hard. but good luck.

.