One small step for Annie, one giant leap for wife.

[Annie D]

My wife of 20 years has become more and more tolerant of Annie as time passes, but she has always refused to go out in public with me when I am dressed en femme. I dress anytime I want to at home, can go out socially or go shopping (as long as I don't spend too much) and generally if I am discreet, nothing is said.

A couple of weeks ago, the opening of the college basketball season, our son was scheduled to play in his first game as a freshmen and we couldn't miss it. We drove 5 hours, attended the game and afterwards checked into a local motel to spend the night. I packed some distinctively feminine clothing, suitable for traveling, and the next morning got dressed, applied my makeup, did my hair and off we went for our return trip home. Needless to say, for a 5 hour trip, we needed to stop for gas, stop for a restroom break and stop for lunch; something we did with no problems.

The coup de grace was when we were within 60 miles from home, she suggested that we stop at one of those large outlet malls that are found along the major highways. Much to my surprise and delight, we went into several shops together, browsed around and bought several items for presents at Christmas. I think that this first step on her part is a sign of what I hope is many more times when she and Annie can go out together. She is not only my wife but my best friend and I love spending time with her and especially when I can be my true self.

[KristinSkye]

Aww, that's fantastic Annie I'm so happy for your and your wife That's awesome that it was her idea, sounds like she's opening up to you even more.

[StacyCD]

You have the situation with your SO that I and probably many others on this list would love to have. Make sure she knows how much you appreciate her because she is worth keeping!

[PretzelGirl]

That is great Annie! So how does she say she feels? You say what happened, but nothing about your talks with her. Keep those lines open, she may need the discussion now to work how she felt while you shopped. Or maybe it just isn't a big deal. Best to know so you don't push a hot button (and you may know). I hope it all continues well and smooth.

[AKAMichelle]

That is fantastic. Hope you have many more trips.

[Sandra]

That is so nice to hear...I hope you have many more outing together like this one.

[Presh GG]

Hi Annie,
Yes, that's cool !
I'm with Sue, you told us how you feel/felt but not how your wife was/is feeling.
Have you asked her ? What a wonderfull opportunity to talk !
I'd love to hear the rest of the story.

All the best to you, I hope you have many more outtings.
Presh GG

[Dana]

Hi Annie,
Yes, that's cool !
I'm with Sue, you told us how you feel/felt but not how your wife was/is feeling.
Have you asked her ? What a wonderful opportunity to talk !
I'd love to hear the rest of the story.

All the best to you, I hope you have many more outings.
Presh GG

I've being following you and your posts here. And while the way you DH came out to you after 20+ years of marriage was rude and crude (And there's no easy way of doing it or going about it?)

I cannot speak for others, let alone your DH?

But for me its more than just about dressing en femme or the clothes.

And its not just about sex?

For me?

Its about doing things "girly"

Its about enjoying art, shopping, music, emotions, sensitivity, being sensuous, the smells, the aromas, the touch, the feel of different fabrics ~ the smell of different things ~ the taste off.......................

For me being so-called 'transgendered' is about expercing the full wealth of being alive. And not just limiting myself to half of all that Life has to offer.

Why should I deny myself half of what Life has to offer?

That's not to say that I shouldn't exercise self control and self discipline.

There are practicalities to consider!

Try as I may ~ Try as I might?

I'm simply not attracted toward men in any shape form, nor fashion.

That may be as it might?

I'm [B]seriously/B] attrached toward femininity!

[Presh GG]

I beg your pardon Dana, are you talking to me ?
You couldn't have been following me too closely because you have me comfused with someone else.

I have been married 35 years and I have known since the very first time we spent the night together in my house. We were young, I asked him if he would like to borrow a robe [ as he was, gasp, naked ] and he went to my closet and picked out a blue poka-dot dress.
Now this was the early 70s. We had just come out of the anything goes 60s. I was at woodstock for heavens sake. I had no problem with it,dressing or being TG.
My husband and I belong to a long established Transgender group, we have wonderful shopping , eatting out trips together and with our tg friends... and her wardrobe is just right.

I suggest you check my home page, then , I'd love an apology.
Check your facts dear , before you go off half-cocked !

Presh GG

[Leslie Langford]

That's wonderful news, Annie, but remember not to get too caught up in the euphoria of the moment and start pushing too hard at the existing boundaries with your wife. That may just lead to you losing ground on the road to gaining her full acceptance of you as a crossdresser. Let her take the lead on this one once she is good and ready, and after having had a chance to digest this latest development. Remember the mantra on this forum "baby steps, baby steps..."

[Angiemead12]

great big step to be experiencing! Congratulations.

[Jorja]

That is fantastic!!! I am so happy for the both of you. Remember to do something nice for her now.

[Laura_Stephens]

Annie, congrats! and congrats to your son for playing college basketball. VERY few ever get the opportunity to do that.

[Dana]

I beg your pardon Dana, are you talking to me ?
You couldn't have been following me too closely because you have me confused with someone else.

I have been married 35 years and I have known since the very first time we spent the night together in my house. We were young, I asked him if he would like to borrow a robe [ as he was, gasp, naked ] and he went to my closet and picked out a blue poka-dot dress.
Now this was the early 70s. We had just come out of the anything goes 60s. I was at Woodstock for heavens sake. I had no problem with it,dressing or being TG.
My husband and I belong to a long established Transgender group, we have wonderful shopping , eating out trips together and with our tg friends... and her wardrobe is just right.

I suggest you check my home page, then , I'd love an apology.
Check your facts dear , before you go off half-cocked !

Presh GG

Were it possible? I would gladly offer up more than a mere simple apology?

Never in a million years would I intentionally set out to offend anyone.

Without mentioning by whom and such? I've already been taking out behind the woodshed via PM's and in the light of a different day? Desverlning so.

It was not my intent to offend ~ and I do sincerly apolgize for having done so.

[Annie D]

Thank all of you for your kind replies! Here is why it is such a giant leap for my wife. Both my wife and I are in "high profile" professional positions. Please don't think of me as being arrogant or full of myself, but we both believe that if I were to be recognized that my job would be in jeopardy. We are both school teachers, not that there are not other transgendered people in our profession but I not only teach but coach high school athletes. My wife believes that if I am found out, that as a coach and in my school district coaches are not tenured, if I were to be recognized I could immediately be terminated or my contract would not be renewed. Likewise, she is a former coach who left coaching to have enough time to watch our two children compete in their respective sport in high school; our son is currently playing basketball at a D3 school and our daughter is considering several offers to play volleyball at the college level.

Whenever I have gone out, I have invited her to join me and she has always refused because of her fear of being seen with me and my being recognized. She supports me in many different ways and has come to realize that Annie is as much of who I am as my male self. Just the fact that after so many years, she was able to put aside her fear and be able to be out with Annie is a great relief for me and makes me feel even more accepted. I think that many times that our wives and girlfriends may say that they support us but their actions speak much louder than the words they utter.

Thank you all for your kind wishes and support.

[danielletorresani]

Congrats! Not all of us are that lucky!

[Christie ann]

. Both my wife and I are in "high profile" professional positions. We are both school teachers, I not only teach but coach high school athletes.

Annie you are so right, we are held at a different level (not higher or lower but definitely different) than others. I always cringe when I see headlines about a former teacher and you read further and find that they were a substitute teacher long ago. That said. Congratulations on the trip out with your wife, have fun and be careful in your adventures as she is so right about the consequences.

[linda allen]

Thank all of you for your kind replies! Here is why it is such a giant leap for my wife. Both my wife and I are in "high profile" professional positions. Please don't think of me as being arrogant or full of myself, but we both believe that if I were to be recognized that my job would be in jeopardy. We are both school teachers, not that there are not other transgendered people in our profession but I not only teach but coach high school athletes. My wife believes that if I am found out, that as a coach and in my school district coaches are not tenured, if I were to be recognized I could immediately be terminated or my contract would not be renewed. Likewise, she is a former coach who left coaching to have enough time to watch our two children compete in their respective sport in high school; our son is currently playing basketball at a D3 school and our daughter is considering several offers to play volleyball at the college level.

Whenever I have gone out, I have invited her to join me and she has always refused because of her fear of being seen with me and my being recognized. She supports me in many different ways and has come to realize that Annie is as much of who I am as my male self. Just the fact that after so many years, she was able to put aside her fear and be able to be out with Annie is a great relief for me and makes me feel even more accepted. I think that many times that our wives and girlfriends may say that they support us but their actions speak much louder than the words they utter.

Thank you all for your kind wishes and support.

Fist, it's great what happened and that the two of you got to share the time together.

Second, many of us are in a similar situation where being "outed" would cause serious harm. I fully understand.