Girl bonding

[PretzelGirl]

My youngest daughter (19) has stayed pretty scarce ever since I came out to her because of life and being gone with her boyfriend a lot. I never really suspected her knowing was a problem, she is just one of those that can disappear for large amounts of time. Last night she came home with the intent of starting to have more time away from her boyfriend and wanted to do more things with our family. Seems like one of those balance things I like to talk about.

This morning, I did my usual, got up while dressed in a nightgown, got my coffee, and start going through emails and this site. She came upstairs as she wasn't able to sleep and we started talking about her relationship and where she is going with life. This led to her talking about how she wants to teach me different things with my make-up and hair and we talked about products we each like. Which also led going through my make-up "toolkit". It had been a while since we had a good talk, so just flowing into this after coming out to her was very nice. What is really good is that instead of a father "you need to do this and that" talk, it was some real heart to heart talking. So score another one in the plus column!

[Karren H]

That is too awesome Sue!!

[Marissa]

Yes, that has to be a great feeling sharing with your daughter Mine is a year older and we have our moments when she needs advice..lol.. or borrow something. She knows and only sees me a few times. Someday it will be the norm.

[RozalynLove]

My youngest daughter (19) has stayed pretty scarce ever since I came out to her because of life and being gone with her boyfriend a lot. I never really suspected her knowing was a problem, she is just one of those that can disappear for large amounts of time. Last night she came home with the intent of starting to have more time away from her boyfriend and wanted to do more things with our family. Seems like one of those balance things I like to talk about.

This morning, I did my usual, got up while dressed in a nightgown, got my coffee, and start going through emails and this site. She came upstairs as she wasn't able to sleep and we started talking about her relationship and where she is going with life. This led to her talking about how she wants to teach me different things with my make-up and hair and we talked about products we each like. Which also led going through my make-up "toolkit". It had been a while since we had a good talk, so just flowing into this after coming out to her was very nice. What is really good is that instead of a father "you need to do this and that" talk, it was some real heart to heart talking. So score another one in the plus column!

It's great that your daughter wants to spend more time with you and the rest of her family, and even better that she is accepting of you. I don't really agree with you in terms of what constitutes a father-child discussion, and I think a father should also be open and sensitive to their children's thoughts and opinions, while accepting them when there is not an obvious reason to disagree. Although, I respect your opinion on the role of the father, and I think the fact that you are more cabable of having a productive attitude when you are presenting as female just goes to show that you are a lot more comfortable being viewed and treated like one. I hope you get to have many more heart to heart discussions with your daughter, and am sure that you will have a lot to teach each other!

[Jilmac]

She certainly sounds like a "keeper", LOL. It's nice to know that some of us have the support of family members.

[Kathi Lake]

Sue, I'm so glad she came around! The chat that you guys had was worth more to her long-term than maybe either the two of you know. I'm so glad for you!

Kathi

[Stephanie Miller]

Obviously you raised a great daughter. Nice job. The best to you both.

[PretzelGirl]

Thank you all. She is a keeper who has had a rough teenage road as many do. But I am glad that we may be seeing a change in our ability to talk as these days, your kids can be half way around the world before you know it. Then it is hard to start new lines of communication with that distance.

I don't really agree with you in terms of what constitutes a father-child discussion, and I think a father should also be open and sensitive to their children's thoughts and opinions, while accepting them when there is not an obvious reason to disagree.

Rozalyn, I guess my lack of going into it deeper left it open to interpretation. I do not feel my role as a father is strictly disciplinarian. But my daughter chose as a teenager that parents weren't cool so there was little talking that was considered close because she just didn't want to participate. And that is what makes this noteworthy is that I never thought that my dressing would be something to help bring us together and start a bridge that was never there before. Whether it was dressing or something else, I am happy to have the window of opportunity. I am just surprised that this is what did it.

[Laura Evans]

That is a wonderful relationship to have with one's daughter. Talking about makeup and hair is a discussion no father will never have with his daughter, unless...! I envy you.

[Fab Karen]

Having a talk with a parent without judgment? I envy that kid.

[tinachristina]

Cool