I'm trying to figure out where along the gender spectrum I fit. I started CD'ing a few months back on a regular basis (with my SO's help and endorsement), and it has kind of evolved from an almost purely sexual thing to... I'm not sure how to put it. Kind of like "I'd be more comfortable as a female."
I don't dress up to the nines very often. Now I am content wearing women's jeans everywhere (sorry, Karren ). I don't underdress very often. Most of my other attire is male. I paint my toenails, and remove my body hair. I've gotten my ears pierced, and not because I think it would look good on my male self. I feel envious of younger women for the gift they have been given, and admire older women and their clothing. But I'm not sure I want just to dress like them - I'm thinking that I want to be them. As I told my gf one time "I'm tired of being a guy. I know women don't have it any better. They just have it different."
So, is this "standard" crossdresser thinking, or is it something else? What have your experiences been? Have you been to the point of wanting to transition, and then pulled back to a state of being more accepting of your male self?
I'm sure I haven't given all the relevant information, so please ask for more info if it helps. I'm kind of down about all of this, and really very confused.
Thanks for reading
Jay Cee