My wife caught me but it was better

[Annajose]

While I was debating with myself whether to tell or not to tell, I was caught by my wife because I was careless with the Ipad. Finding out this way caused her a lot of pain and the questions and doubts were endless. I have to say that I am extremelly lucky and undeserving of the wife I have. She talked to me and gave me plenty of opportunity to explain myself and on her own she started a lot of research over the crossdressing behavior.
While she does not like crossdressing at all and she does not want to see me dressing, she is accepting tha crossdressing is a part of me, so with certain limits I can continue doing what I do ( underdressing mainly).
What is on my mind is that I should have told her earlier, how much earlier I am not sure, we both agree that before the marriage probably would have ended the relationship, but it creates a lot of pain for her to discover that I crossdress instead of being told by me.
Now somehow I feel better because I do not have to hide things from her anymore, I will respect the boundaries that have been set, but she knows what I do so there is no more hiding nor telling lies to cover my XD.
I am very fortunate!!!

[sissystephanie]

Annajose, I sure hope everything works out for both of you. If she has set some boundaries, and you agree to stay within them things should be O.K. But definitely do not push her to extend the boundaries. If you do, you will probably lose her!!

I told my wife before we married, and she accepted me "as is!" The main reason she did was because I let her know that I would always be her MAN, regard of the clothes I was wearing. We had almost 50 years together before cancer took her!!

You are very right!! You are fortunate!!

[Philipa Jane]

There are more people here that have failed to mention their crossdressing to their partner than have been totally honest from the outset.
Don't beat yourself over that. Look to the future as you sure cannot undo the past.
PJ

[Tina B.]

It took me five years into the marriage before I told her, and after 35 years of her knowing, I wish I had told her sooner, but like you, I'm on the fence as to how much earlier would have been better.
Tina B.

[kimdl93]

Anna, the best thing you can do now that the cat is out of the bag is to continue to be the loving and supportive husband that you have always been. And most of all, be open to talking with her whenever she needs to. She many never change her attitudes toward CDing generally, but she may grow in her acceptance of you so long as she knows you're basically the same person you always were.