While I was debating with myself whether to tell or not to tell, I was caught by my wife because I was careless with the Ipad. Finding out this way caused her a lot of pain and the questions and doubts were endless. I have to say that I am extremelly lucky and undeserving of the wife I have. She talked to me and gave me plenty of opportunity to explain myself and on her own she started a lot of research over the crossdressing behavior.
While she does not like crossdressing at all and she does not want to see me dressing, she is accepting tha crossdressing is a part of me, so with certain limits I can continue doing what I do ( underdressing mainly).
What is on my mind is that I should have told her earlier, how much earlier I am not sure, we both agree that before the marriage probably would have ended the relationship, but it creates a lot of pain for her to discover that I crossdress instead of being told by me.
Now somehow I feel better because I do not have to hide things from her anymore, I will respect the boundaries that have been set, but she knows what I do so there is no more hiding nor telling lies to cover my XD.
I am very fortunate!!!