and im really grouchy about it.... she handled it reasonably well.. but.. we'll see how it goes
and im really grouchy about it.... she handled it reasonably well.. but.. we'll see how it goes
Last edited by bridgetta; 12-02-2010 at 03:00 PM.
I am soooo jealous! I wish I had the nerve to "have the talk"! You have broken the ground, now I guess you get to see what sprouts. I think it a good idea to take your time and let things percolate a bit.
Honesty is good for a relationship, it idicates trust. Just curious, why are YOU grouchy about it ?Originally Posted by bridgetta
Good for you for telling her, now like Kelly has asked why feel grouchy?
Now you said she handled it reasonably well, I hope that continues...but...just be prepared for questions and concerns, listen to her when this happens and answer her as honestly as possible. Don't rush things and take it at her pace.
Sandra
Administrator
I always used to rib you about your legs can't anymore. R.I.P Sexy Legs
R.I.P Rianna
Having the "talk" is always a wise move. There will be more discussion ahead, but in the long run things will go much better.
Unfortunately the "talk" doesn't always guarantee positive results. While it feels good to "unload the baggage", some S.O.'s don't like the extra weight even though initially they may seem to take it reasonably well. Beware of possible repercussions down the road. We had "the talk" twenty years ago and I'm still waiting for some kind of positive indication that it was the right thing to do. I do hope that your revelation is more rewarding than mine.
Suzanne
Transtronaut
You must first find yourself before you can discover your future-
yes wish i could also to chicken to do it, my other half would freak out i think.
Telling my wife was the right thing to do, and also the hardest and worst thing I have ever done. We have plenty of other issues and it had just added to them. But after 9 years it was something that needed to come out.
yah.. it sucks
Bridget,
now that you have told her. Go slow and accept her limits. Explain the rush of the pink clouds. Don't take a mile if she gives you an inch. Progression--older and bolder--it happens--be ready.
yes.. thank you.... i was planning to tell at some point when the time was right.. but it just happened.. it became neccasary... .... we both feel better now... but now the complicated journey begins... she has question.s... i dont have all the answers....but she is great and thats the most important thing to me..
she told me that she secretly like to wear a fake mustache and drink beer in the mirror...
hahaha
just kidding...
You can nudge her in the direction of the forums here, where we have a special place for loved ones to discuss this and other issues with other individuals who're going through similar challenges.
Now that you've talked to your S.O. though it's high time that you communicate your feelings and thoughts openly with her even though you don't know what they are for sure. This act indicates that you love and care for her and would like to work it out with her, but follow through is needed. Sure, it's tough, but you two can have fun if you keep a chipper attitude and have fun rather than obsess about details for now.
My advice as one who came out to his wife 4 months ago, is to focus on the relationship. Your relationship with your SO isn't about clothes. I'm assuming you love each other, so tell and show her that you love her. Do things for her. Show her how coming out has made you a better person! IMO, the problem spouses/SOs have with crossdressing isn't usually the actual dressing or girliness, it's the obsession over it at the expense of the relationship. If she sees that she benefits from this, she'll be very supportive and even possibly encouraging. You don't want your SO to view your dressing as a threat to the relationship. It's up to you to manage that, and don't say it, show it.
This is a critical time in your relationship and you only get one chance to get it right. Make your SO your focus.
well, now its over and the real time can begin.
its good to not have to hide it... and i do feel better.. ... nice people here...
When I first met my girl it all started w/ me wearing tights,(which she didnt and doesnt mind) then skirts then she introduced me to her heels. I never dress completely, kinda a guy in a skirt heels and tights thing. I know she doesnt want me to "pass" but doesnt mind that I "dress" either. I was always so glad I didnt have to hide it from her, I might get the occasional roll of the eyes when I come home w/ new heels and me being slightly embarrased buts thats about all. Your have a weight off your shoulders that I never had but Im sure its a great burden gone, and good 4 you, you deserve it because your doing nothing wrong, remember that, it always feels so much better when your not hiding something. If I could ever help feel free to send me a message.....
Harming no one, do as you will.
I stand atop a tower, world at my command.
I've often wondered if GGs "cross dress".
[SIGPIC]http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=82706&dateline=137762 0356[/SIGPIC]Linda
It's all a blur but in the late 80's I told my girlfriend and she was OK with it. We've now been married 20 years and have 4 kids...and she's still OK with it!.....Just got lucky I guess?
VERY lucky!
After my wife found out about my crossdressing she was not comfortable with it. We talked about it. She asked the normal questions: Why do you do it? (I like to) Are you gay? (No) Do you want a sex change? (No) etc. Eventually she became less uncomfortable and is now quite positive about the whole thing. If she's out shopping and sees something I might like she will get it for me. Give it time and don't push it too hard.
Mine was convinced it was a phase. A phase that has lasted over 40 years so far.
Last edited by Davina99; 12-07-2010 at 08:48 PM.
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