I used to feel really guilty when I was done being dressed. I started as soon as I took off the first article of clothing, regardless of what it was. Lately it has shifted from guilt to disappointment and even depression. I can't stand knowing I have to get back into drab and I can't wait until I get get back en femme. I understand the feeling you have but like others have said, as you become more aware of yourself (all parts of yourself), the guilt will go away.
Guilt was a problem when I was younger but now I just accept it's part of who I am.
I'm not hurting anyone, I'm not some sort of deviant, I'm just a guy who likes to wear a dress every now and then.
That's how I feel about it and I'm sure there are a lot more people out there who SHOULD feel guilty about what they do when they hurt someone. I/we don't intentionally do what we do to cause anyone else a problem, so I LIKE dressing as a women and I hope I'm a nicer person as Sally?
But yes it's easy to feel guilty about being 'different'...but just how many CD'ers does it take for it to become 'normal'?...there must be thousands, if not millions out there....so I think it's a pretty normal thing to do for a lot of people...that's what works for me.
If I was a more convincing CD you'd struggle to keep me indoors
Been there -- done that. When I was younger, EVERY dressing episode ended with self sex and always ended up feeling guilty/perverted/etc. Took a good long while for the feelings of guilt to subside.
I never feel proud and sometimes I feel unhappy after dressing. Usually, the source of my unhappiness is the realization that my dressing is for self-gratification and I could have (perhaps should have) devoted my dressing time to an activity that directly benefits other people. But this type of regret/guilt is not unique to CDing. I would have similar feelings if, for example, I devoted an excessive amount of time to playing golf at the expense of more productive or compassionate activities. I minimize my negative feelings by (1) rationalizing that I need to take care of my own needs in order to be a better person to others, and (2) limiting my CDing (and golf for that matter) to a level that I feel strikes an appropriate balance between my personal needs and my responsibilities to others. As long as keep my CDing within predefined limits and meet my commitments to others, I generally don't feel bad about it.Originally Posted by Office Stacy
I don't agree that being more interested in sexual gratification through CDing than having sex with one's SO is GOOD REASON to feel guilty. While this situation is certainly problematic in a relationship, I don't think having an innate preference for CDing over sex with an SO is cause for guilt per se. I think guilt becomes warranted only when the CDer is not honest about his preference for CDing or chooses to engage in CDing in violation of a prior understanding with the SO.
I think of you as a freestyler as well, and more power to you. To me, the essence of crossdressing is to wear clothing that would not be acceptable attire while presenting in the male gender. If wearing skirts, dresses, heels, and makeup were considered "normal" for men, I would not not derive any particular pleasure from wearing them. When I wear those items as a crossdresser, I am essentially declaring that I have abandoned my male persona and want to be perceived as female.
Hi Laura. Most of my episodes end up with self sex also. But now I look at it as something to look forward to! If I keep my clothing on afterwards, I really feel satisfied, and I am beginning to accept who I am. I AM a bi-sexual crossdresser- and I like it!
Interesting question... for myself I have never felt bad after dressing... it always makes me feel good... I always wear women's jeans and tops and sweaters and sandals when I go out... I wear earrings and sometimes my cami is visible in the low cut neckline of my sweater... when i wear a cami top, i do wear a fleece jacket over it so it is less obvious... I dress like this all the time... and it feels good... In the summer I wear women's jean shorts all the time... everywhere... and I turn the cuff up to make them shorter... my last two GG gf's were ok with it... I wear skirts and dresses at home... I feel the best when wearing them... yet I keep that part secret, and only have worn skirts in public when I had a complete makeover... and I keep that secret from my friends and neighbors... I can get away with skirts in public for Halloween parties and the Rocky Horror Show... I do wear a sarong wrap skirt when I go to the beach... and I feel good about all of this... I would love to just wear skirts and dresses everywhere, makeover or not...
I would say that RAP music is corrupting our children much more than ANY crossdressing event a child might witness. Just my 2cents worth
I once heard Dr. Phil say to a woman whose husband CDs. He told her that it is statistically VERY unlikely that he will stop. He told her that she basically had to decide whether to accept his dressing or break up. I have found that same truth in my life. I have stopped three significant times. I have purged an unknown number of times. In my 40 years of life, I have stopped a total of 3.5 years. I don't mind some things about my crossdressing, but then I would rather be "normal" and not have these inconvenient, unusual, and sometimes inappropriate cravings. When I have stopped, I found myself being tempted by stuff that other guys struggle with that normally is a non-issue for me. I would rather be tempted by CDing than a large number of other things. Yet, I would rather have no temptations. Stacy, you may have to accept that you are always going to be tempted by this and you will occasionally give in. BUT, you must find a way to drive the bus! You cannot let yourself be tempted to do things that are bad. You must decide what "bad" means. Different people need to draw that line at different places because our weaknesses and our life details are unique.
Now, let's talk straight. If you are struggling with masturbation being associated with your dressing, it is OK say so. I assume that is why you feel so bad afterward. Self gratification seems to make a guy feel guilty and bad afterward (regardless if CDing is involved). However, your body is makes enough stuff to fill up every few days. Just like a woman's period, that stuff kinda has to come out. For me, if the stuff does not come out, my hormones start to increase and I start to be tempted to think and do more sexual things. Typically, wives are not able or maybe are not interested in having coitus every two or three days. A solution is to talk to your wife and let her know you need more releases per month. You can probably convince your wife help you come to completion without her having to have intercourse and without you crossdressing. I predict your wife would rather help you in this intimate part of your life if it will help you be less tempted by things one or both of you don't like.
(I hope this was not too personal.)
On second thoughts although I don't feel bad about dressing up, sometimes I do feel a bit 'silly'!
I guess it's the idea of this six foot overweight lug teetering on high heels in a short skirt
OH well its only a bit of fun.
When I'm in the 'zone' and the leg hairs are gone and I get into a size 14 (UK) I don't feel bad or silly...I feel rather great!
Come on what are any of us doing wrong?....nothing, so don't feel bad or guilty about wearing a dress
This weekend I wear my heels, stockings and skirt with a guy top all day in the house (no make-up or wig and nobody else around). It felt just as normal has if I was wearing guy clothes but I would get turn on when I saw myself in a mirror (from the waist down) or felt or saw my nylon covered legs. This morning I wanted to wear a skirt, nylon and heels to work. Very strange for me and don’t know what to think.
Sounds quite normal to me!
Hugs, Carole
I used to hear the same voices when I spotted a trigger ; they kinda quiet down after awhile. After dressing for so long its just more a comfortable feeling than a thrilling one.
Personally I have had no luck quitting; but have had some luck controlling the real strong desire brought on by a trigger.
I set aside time dress every month and save tasks to complete while dressed. I may decide to be my own secretary [With the appropriate outfit of course] and answer all the mail or balance the checkbook ect. Too much time on my hands is never good.
I used to feel bad because I wasted so much time on dressing and standing in front of the camera ect. By knowing that I did a few productive things during a dressing session I feel better when its time to get undressed and wash up. [ BTW I was vacuuming in heels today: those 50's women were tougher than they looked]
If I get a real strong trigger due to seeing an outfit it gets relieved a bit if I start the hunt and do some shopping to put the outfit together.
I wish you luck (and conscientiousness) in your journey. If you draw strength from dressing, I hope you turn it to healing and good in every part of your life -- friends, work, self, etc...
Once you've accepted and embraced cross dressing as an important part of who you are, you feel like the world is yours to command.
Well, I agree with Karen Hutton 100% on her reply. The guilt feeling goes away with time.
For me personally and I only speak from my own experience is most of the guilt is derived from "lying" to yourself and then others. For me, I am "the man" the "protector" the "guardian" to protect the family name from any attack. Yet I am the one attacking my position within the family. I am a Man who wears a dress. My guilt has gone. I accept that if anyone threatens my family or me personally, look out I am like a lioness with a mane. My biggest guilt nowdays is if I have not scrubbed my toenails or shaved properly and MOISTURIZED. Take it easy and relax.
I am just coming to terms with myself and rarely feel guilty or ashamed anymore, that is why I decided to join.
Like so many others have said the desire to dress e never goes away you can try to innore it but it has a stong pull takeKarens and all the other girls advise to heart here
I too used to feel bad after dressing. Especially when I was at the kids school and was among the other fathers talking while waiting for the bell. I also used to wish they made a cream or spray to apply to make my hair on my legs and chest grow back over night. These emotions are normal and you just learn not feel guilty anymore. I've learned to accept myself and try not to be so self conscious of how I look in drab or en femme. We all struggle with our own journeys in this crazy world. There was a time when I was a transvestite, then a crossdresser, now it's more for me than just cloths. I do feel in touch with being en femme. I don't have all the answers, so I wont BS you. Its all in how you have self control, don't let it control you.
This pretty much sums it up for me, along with an occasional spanking. I'm not gay, but I have to say I get more pleasure from dressing, than white bread sex. My wife was boring. If I suggested she dress up now and then, and put on some lingerie she just said, "Why can't we just get in bed and "do it". BORING.I feel bad after I had my fun dressing. When I dress up it usual starts with me wanting to wear some nylons because of a woman I saw. The next step is high heels because nylons don’t feel or look right without a pair of high heels. Then I feel the need to put on a skirt, then an outfit, then a wig and finally make-up. Now that I am fully dressed I want to spend some time as Stacy because I think I look cute and sexy. I want to spend some time outside hearing my heels on the concrete, to feel and hear the nylons and my skirt moving around my legs and feel and see the warm sunshine on my nylon covered legs. I have come to understand that me dressing up is more of sexually thing, because I really like the office look. A lot of the times I get carried away in the moment. I need to learn more self control because afterwards I am not proud or happy with myself. Is there anybody out there that feels the same way?
I don't really feel any guilt about my dressing, but I sometimes wonder why I don't get as much pleasure from sex with women, as I do with my dressing.
I can dress any time I want and only have to please me. No pressure. All pleasure.
I used to feel really guilty for CDing,especially if I masturbated while dressed.Now I dress for the joy of dressing,I still get a sexual high from dressing but rarely act on it now,but if I do,I try and not feel guilty,just accept who I am and enjoy it.I get more pleasure out of going to a gay bar,and getting hit on by a nice looking guy. (The Stacy habit will never go away)..........
Jamey, I couldn't have said it any better! It sure takes a lot of pressure off!
Ditto that
Carly, you are a CD because you want to be! I doubt that anybody held a gun to your head the first time you put on feminine clothing. And I doubt that anybody is still holding a gun to your head every time you do it. Unless you are totally dominated, you alone are in charge of what you wear! This goes for everyone on this forum![/QUOTE]
Nobody is holding a gun to my head.. Are you sure?? Because sometimes it feels like there is a presence there that I can't explain.. Seriously though it seems like I am possessed or something, I was of total free will when dressing the first time and the same every time since then.. There are times when I just can't go without dressing and others, like now, that it isn't that big of a deal.. I come to this forum to enjoy the outings of others now.. Look at the pictures with total aw.. Keep it up everybody.. Cross dressing is good..
Hi, fully agree. Just visited your blog and signed up for emails.
When I was younger I used to feel bad after dressing as I girl, but now I am achieving to dont feel bad any more for dressing, but sometimes when I am with my girlfriend (she doesnt knows that I crossdress) and she is looking me as the "man of her life" I really feel bad because I know that behind the door of my bedroom I am just a sissy boy.
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