Do you ever get to the point that you don't care if you get read in publice. What the big deal if you do get read, you are dressing to be your self and the world not going to come to a end. ( I'll stop for now, before some one pops my bra strap)
Do you ever get to the point that you don't care if you get read in publice. What the big deal if you do get read, you are dressing to be your self and the world not going to come to a end. ( I'll stop for now, before some one pops my bra strap)
Since I have been going out in public dressed enfemme, but with no wig or makeup, for over 5 years I am sure I have reached that point!! You are right! I do dress to please my self, not the rest of the world. As long as I am decently dressed, the clothing should not make any difference. And actually it hasn't! I do get compliments on my outfits, and asked where I bought a certain skirt or top, but nothing else. People don't really care!!
Stephanie
Lady on the outside, but man underneath!
I quit caring what anyone thinks of the way I dress a long time ago. Just one less thing to worry about....
If I'm out en femme, I'm at the point that I don't care or worry about it any more--it's a relief!
warmly, Linnea
It seems as if the only time I think about it anymore is when I read a forum post posing the question. I didn't realize it until I read this one. Guess i'm making some progress.
I believe therefore I can [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Obviously I don't care if I get read, I present as a boy, *but* even on the rare times that I have gone out while putting the girl on, I've never once thought that I passed, I assume people are going to read me at some point. This isn't an excuse not to look my best, but it is a reason to relax and have fun and enjoy myself.
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~Riley
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For the vast majority of us, that's the only way we are ever going to be comfortable going out.Originally Posted by Rita C.
I can't say I don't care, I just decided against letting it stop me from going out.
I hope to get to that point.
I have had "zones of comfort", places where I feel comfortable (even knowing someone who knows me personally could easily wander by), whereas other places I might not be willing to be as blatant. Or to be more accurate, what I had was zones of discomfort, places I was reticent to go all out on, whereas pretty much everywhere else was fine.
For example, I had a "zone of discomfort" at a couple of stores two blocks away that I'd gone to from time to time over the years, places that knew the male me by sight, and I had a "zone of discomfort" at the corner store 4 houses down from me. I could walk right by that corner store, and down the sidewalk and in to my house, waving to my neighbours, but I knew the people in the corner store better than I knew my neighbours.
The zone of discomfort two blocks over "popped" a while ago, and I've been working on the corner store; I've now gone in there in dress and in skirt, but not so often. Though to be honest, I am still uncomfortable at one of the stores two blocks over -- not uncomfortable about "being read", but uncomfortable because the co-owning husband seems to like my femme appearance a little too much, if you know what I mean.
My only significant remaining zone of discomfort is my workplace itself, and be assured that I push the boundaries there. I would love to go to work in dress or skirt: I'm not uncomfortable about that part. I really don't think that all the people at work are so inattentive as to not have worked things out. "Being read" isn't the operative discomfort there, and even "coming out" as TG isn't it: the problem is in "getting over the hump". If I cause a "half-hour wonder", or trigger a "sensitivity training seminar", or an argument about which washrooms I can use, then the higher-ups are likely to take a pretty dim view of the loss of productivity that would result -- a dimmer view by far than of caring what gender I am as long as I get my work done.
I broke this barrier when I first went out to Disneyland. I've posted this before, but doing this was a means for me to build confidence and to show me that it really isn't a big deal if I get outed or not. Nowadays, I think I've gotten my look down and no one bats an eye when I go places since I blend in well, but you bet that part of that is the confidence that I got by making mistakes and NGAF, to put it best
That is a hard line to cross sometimes, but when you do, it just makes everything so much easier, and enjoyable! Most people don't really care, anyway, at least in the large cities. Half of them don't even "see" you! Getting read, and still treated with respect is always a nice feeling!
"And if you want some fun, sing Ob-Bla-Di-Bla-Da!"
What you fear is people's reactions.
Decent people either don't care or don't comment.
The ones you kind of need to watch out for are stupid hicks and groups of teenagers.
Keep in mind that any person who is alone isn't gonna have anything to say.
Tho I don't pass so well, I go out dressed as I want, which is mostly conservative, and I refuse to ask permission to be me.
It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.
When you get to the point of being comfortable being yoursef, it matters little what others think.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
If I worried about being read I'd still be in the closet
Luv andJill
Straight, into Fantasy Land
I got to that point when I was busted for public intoxication while going for a walk wearing a dress and carrying a purse. I had to spend overnight in jail before I was bailed out. The world did not end.
Last edited by JohnH; 12-06-2010 at 10:21 AM.
John (Legal name)
Preferred pronouns: he, his, him
Im surprised that only one poster brought up being recognized !
I dont care if I get read as a guy in a dress but hearing someone call my name would kinda freak me out :-)
How do you think it would go over if CDs just decided to go out wearing skirts, dresses...whatever? Sort of overloaded the world with men wearing female clothing and going about their business?
I don't think the world would end. However, as someone else said, the hicks and teenagers would have something to say. Anyway, I have never been outside my house dressed as a girl. It's one of my wife's boundaries and even before that I was too worried about what people would say and think.
I salute everyone who can and do go out as women. You have my respect and admiration.
I want to look like a girl.. I want others to see me as a girl... I put alot of effort into it... but in the end, I don't give a flying F if anyone knows, because most of them don't.
An observation I made while out several times en femme.... Men think with their dick.. women have brains... If and when I'm read, it's 99% of the time another woman.. Men on the other hand are dumb.
Naturally I don't want to be "read", but in the end, all that matters is how great I feel, how wonderful I think I look and how happy I am.
Last edited by LitaKelley; 12-04-2010 at 04:19 PM.
I'm with John, SissyStephanie and Ryan on this one, to step out my front door is to be read as what I am; like Cari said "as a guy in a dress" or most often skirt when out of the house.The only perceived reactions I allow to shape what I do are how they will affect my family or job.
"You are not an accident, nor are you malfunctioning. You are performing EXACTLY as coded." For many "Man in a Dress" is the worst atrocity commit-able; for me it's just reality. Click to Learn About Me. Click to Complain About Me! There is a fine line between brutal honesty and honest brutality. It is rarely in the same place for the sender and the receiver.
This is how I feel except I haven't quite got to the point that it doesn't stop me, either. I do go out where I can be relatively safe from the hecklers but typically it is around strip malls where they have hich vacancy rates and the closest people are quite a distance from me. When I have ventured into retail establishments, I have a fifty/fifty success rate.
Last edited by Christy_M; 12-12-2010 at 11:47 AM.
That's the way I feel too Lita. In male mode, I'm not even aware if people are looking or noticing me at all, but I think it's totally normal for men and women to "look" at anyone presenting as female. The women are looking for one reason(s), and the men, well, we know why they are looking ...........
Transtronaut
You must first find yourself before you can discover your future-
I've recently joined the ranks of the skirted men. I don't have to worry about being read, as anyone can clearly see I'm a man in a skirt - and I'm getting used to the strange looks - as well as the pleasant smiles. I am selective about where I go when skirted, as I want to remain anonymous and not have to explain myself to a coworker, friend or family member.I'm with John, SissyStephanie and Ryan on this one, to step out my front door is to be read as what I am; like Cari said "as a guy in a dress" or most often skirt when out of the house.
I think, if we were totally honest with ourselves, there are very few of us that "pass". Usually when we are not read it's because no one notices us or pays any attention to us. So, if you don't want to be read, try to blend in to the background, try to not be noticed.
I know I don't pass, I just don't care.
Bobbi
The more that I am out in public, buying pretty things to wear that may be age appropriate or not, I have come to the conclusion that if the way I am dressing causes me to be "read" I don't care because I dress because it makes me feel good about myself not necessarily beautiful. I just smile and go on my way, just happy to be out and feeling good about myself.
As long as people treat me just like any other person, I don't really care anymore that some see a guy in a dress. When I'm out shopping, my money is worth the same as anyone else's.
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