Please pardon me if I gush a little but yesterday was the first day that Debby went from my fantasy to reality! Finally(!) I had the courage and the time alone to get an outfit and fully dress. I am writing this utterly exhausted as I was barely able to sleep last night – the emotions are still swirling. Here is the story:
Headed out of town on a business trip with what little supplies and clothes I already own and with a plan for my arrival. First, I stopped at a little boutique where an absolutely charming angel helped me select my first real wig. There is something absolutely electric about finally seeing my face surrounded by a pretty feminine hairstyle. We talked about breast forms and other supplies and I learned that my self-calculation of my bra size was way off. I tried on a pretty bra that actually fit – amazing. No shoes in my size in stock so that will have to wait until my next trip. Next on my list was a stop at ULTA.
I’ve seen mixed reviews of ULTA on this forum but part of my scheme was to replace my Mickey Mouse collection of makeup with some real products. I had made a list off of the website and nervously walked into the store. I had never been in an ULTA before but it was as I imagined – basically a makeup supermarket. I walked in and went to the Too Faced display as I thought their shadow collections with instructions included would help me. An SA, younger girl, asked if she could help me and I thanked her and told her I was working off a list and should be OK. She asked me if I was shopping for Christmas gifts for someone and I told her flat out that some of the items were for me. That’s when I started to get a bit of a weird vibe. This SA came up to me two more times and asked me if I was Christmas shopping for someone with the emphasis on who I was shopping for. I eventually found most of what was on my list but I was thinking of asking for a foundation match and just wasn’t feeling the love so I paid and left.
I REALLY needed some shoes today so on a whim I checked the map of the shopping center and saw that they had an Off Broadway Shoes and a Payless. I went to OBS first and while they had tons of really pretty heels I couldn’t find anything big enough. I went back to the clearance section and there was a pair of gold, 7” platform heels! The size was close so. . .I squeezed one foot into one of them and almost fell on my butt! Too small so I headed to Payless. The ULTA thing unnerved me a little bit but my courage was slowly increasing. The Payless was much smaller but the SA was very friendly. I flat out asked her if they had any shoes in stock size 12 or 13 and she said no. I went over and looked at the largest shoes they had out and saw one that looked promising. A black mule(More lingo to learn.) in a wide size. It fit relatively comfortably so I bought it.
Next on the list was a trip to the local mall. Got there and even though it was early afternoon the place was a zoo with Christmas shoppers. Stopped by Victoria’s Secret and bought some satin PJs. So simple it is hardly worth mentioning. I walked around and window shopped a little bit but I had one final place on my list – MAC.
Now I have heard nothing but raves on this forum about MAC but this was absolutely the most terrifying part of the outing. I wasn’t going for a full makeover (appointments only?) but I needed to get a foundation match. I walked in, looked around a little and an MA came up and asked if she could help me. I swallowed hard and asked her if she could match me for foundation and concealer. She didn’t skip a beat and said certainly and asked me to sit in an open chair. I kind of wish I had a heart rate monitor on because it was going through the roof and it felt like the temperature increased by 20 degrees! She started selecting products and I see a man passing by start giving me a strange look. This is the fantasy of having makeup professionally applied and nightmare of being embarrassed in public all rolled into one for me. The MA is this cute bubbly GG and she just starts asking me what I want concealed (as if it wasn’t obvious) and starts to work on one side of my face explaining what she is doing. She was so absolutely nonplussed by the whole thing you would have thought I was the tenth guy in a row that she had made up! She finished half of my face and asked me if I wanted to wipe it off or if she should even me out. I asked her to finish the job and she seemed very pleased. When she finished we talked about the products and how she applied them. I purchased the foundation, NW20, concealer NC30, (can NW and NC exist on the same face???), and the powder Medium Dark, as well as the two brushes she used #109 & #224. Sticker shock at the bill but they were so nice it almost didn’t register. No one I passed in the mall seemed to notice the makeup – maybe that’s the point.
With supplies in hand I headed for the hotel. While I had shaved pretty closely that morning I decided to give myself a once over. I then put on my new bra and panties. The Nubra breast forms I already own worked beautifully now that I have a bra that fits. Kind of sensual how quickly they warm up to body temperature. I then sat down and proceeded to apply a base coat and Revlon “All Fired Up” red nail polish. (I thought the color was kind of thin – wouldn’t buy it again.) Once my nails dried I went to work on my makeup. I read somewhere that you should do your eyes first – so I did. I cleaned up my brows a little bit then tried AGAIN to master eyeliner. I even bought a couple of kinds to see what might work best – still an epic failure. The Too Faced kit seemed to work pretty good so my shadow wasn’t too horrible. On a whim I bought false eyelashes and after fumbling around a little bit got them on straight. A little mascara an on to what I learned from MAC. Finished up with my lips. I haven’t figured what colors work yet but I had seen and bought this MAC lipstick previously on a whim. It is called “Girl About Town” and it I believe it is a kind of a fuchsia. Right or wrong I just love it! The color just explodes and it feels and smells yummy. (Any comments on a different color for me would be welcome. A girl’s got to learn sometime.)
With my makeup done I put on my wig. When I saw my face I really choked up. It was as if a puzzle piece fell into place. It is absolutely AMAZING to me how the wig and the false eyelashes made me look and feel so absolutely feminine. I wish I could shave my chest – can’t, a compromise, but as I put on my blouse and pencil skirt (a little too big), I was pretty pleased with Debby’s first appearance. Here she is.
It is amazing how many emotions and feelings this day has brought up. Fulfillment, fear, pleasure, and still a little of the old guilt creeping in. My mind is reeling. Have I crossed a bridge and will it still be there when I turn around? While I still have a long way to go on this journey the advice that some of you have given me and the wisdom on this forum is just tops! Thanks for your patience with this rambling post!
XOXO,
Debby