Dressing question from a GG

[Carly D]

Currently I am in a lull of well over a year and a half.. Mostly a situation I can't control but also I am partially afraid of what would happen if I told.. I hate the idea of everyone being different around me after telling them about my Carly side.. The thought that they might think that I am now and have always been gay (which I'm not, but most people associate cross dressing with being gay which a very large percentage are not) or change the way they are around me.. I know my little brothers wife seems to be homophobic big time although if you were to ask her she would deny it.. I also like to have a secret life that no one knows about, I can't imagine what they would say now if they were to find out (although I think they might know).. It's the game I like.. whatever that means.. But to answer your question I have had many lulls, the latest being one of the longest, although earlier lulls would be completely without wearing at all... No shoes or anything else and no thought towards that either.. Sometimes in a lull I would see a woman dressed just right and BAMM head first into the deep end..

[t-girlxsophie]

dont mention high heels to my wife.last xmas she bought a gorgeous pair of 4" heels for her works night out.unfortunately she toppled over and knocked herself out.I went to casualty from my works night out and she came out 4hours later on crutches,first thing she did was heels straight in the bin,now the only heels over 2"high in our house belong to me.I dont mind as she is just the perfect height in flats for a really good cuddle


Sophie

[jamie-upstate]

i try to wear somthing every day somtime just a pair of panties or tights

[Cheryl James]

In response to your first question, no one but your husband (and he may not even know) what his needs and desires are in terms of when and how much he dresses. He is lucky, very lucky, to have a wife who, obviously, loves him and who wants to understand this pleasurable quirk. I am not that lucky so my dressing is sporadic as opportunity presents itself. I've gone years at a time without dressing due to career and children, but I wanted to dress every day of every one of those years. It's a lot of work, though. At this point in my life I dress as much as I can (it's not enough) and that can range from underdressing all the way to totally presenting as a woman and going out in public to shop. With your support your husband will find the proper level for himself and, hopefully a level that is acceptable to you, as well. Good luck to both of you.

[bridgetta]

Yup. Sometimes its strong. And other times not. Its fun tho.

[SweetPea_GG]

In response to your first question, no one but your husband (and he may not even know) what his needs and desires are in terms of when and how much he dresses. He is lucky, very lucky, to have a wife who, obviously, loves him and who wants to understand this pleasurable quirk. I am not that lucky so my dressing is sporadic as opportunity presents itself. I've gone years at a time without dressing due to career and children, but I wanted to dress every day of every one of those years. It's a lot of work, though. At this point in my life I dress as much as I can (it's not enough) and that can range from underdressing all the way to totally presenting as a woman and going out in public to shop. With your support your husband will find the proper level for himself and, hopefully a level that is acceptable to you, as well. Good luck to both of you.

thanks Cheryl The main question wasnt ment for my husband but I was just curious in general about everyone here and their situations

[Zoie]

Well I will answer this to my wife

I have gone through spells where I didnt dress at all or want too. It comes and goes like the flu I guess. Sometimes I can fix the need by just wearing a thong or stockings. Its not an everyday thing thats for sure as mentioned in a previous post dressing up is a hard job there is a ton of prep work and then if you add in makeup etc it can take hours then the result is you and you only have an hour of your day left alone before having to take it all off and go back to male mode. Is it worth it depends on the person I guess but we wouldn't do it if it wasn't on some level.

But yes sometimes partial dressing can cure the need easily. Other times its a need that can last awhile or not at all.

[Stephanie47]

The only time I never had an urge to dress en femme was while in the military. I did not have either an opportunity nor an inclination. Part of the time it was somewhat obvious to me. I was in training or Nam where there were no females in pretty clothes to kindle my desires. When I got married my wife was a pretty petite knockout. Being newly married I loved buying her or going together to buy sexy clothing for her to wear. Then the fires were rekindled from my student days. I am retired, so I have ample time to dress, but, sometimes I do not have time to indulge or I do not have privacy. During the summer I cannot dress, and, that causes a lot of frustration. Other than the summer I am able to dress for six to seven hours a day, and, if my spouse takes a trip, 24/7 for seven to ten days. That is heavenly. So, if I were now single I'd dress 24/7 with the exception of having to interact with the less enlightened members of society or family.

[sometimes_miss]

My crossdressing is stress related; basically it's under control, but it takes a certain degree of mental 'cpu cycles' to to that. When too much else is on my mind, say, whenever I'm going through any difficulty in life, the ability to suppress the desire to crossdress is more likely to wane, and I dress.
The longest I went without crossdressing was several years when I first dated, and got married. As the marriage went on the rocks, so did my ability to contain my crossdressing.

[LindaC]

Like lots of others who have responded, the urge comes and goes

I've gone long periods without dressing, like when I was in the Navy and it really didn't bother me but when I finally got out, the first chance I got , I was back at it.

Now retired, I can dress whenever I get the urge but it isn't that simple for me.

I'm currently dealing with some health issues and I'm not interested in sharing this part of my life with my Doc's. Among other things, I'm not shavingmy body and I'm keeping my hair short(I have anothar surgery next month and they are going to shave off a chunk of it anyway).

Sooner than later, I'll be done with the surgeries and I'll be able to be myself again.
For now, I dress now and then, but not doing the makeup thing or going nuts about it.

So at least for me, it's about priorities.

[linnea]

As an adulty, the only times that I didn't dress or want to dress en femme have been times when I simply couldn't for various reasons. Since I was in the closet most of my adult life, these times came up more frequently than I wanted. However, it seems to me that now, whenever I can dress enfemme, I do and am glad to have the opportunity. I underdress to some extent every day now. On weekends and weekday evenings at home, I always dress and feel no need to take time off. On these occasions, like many GGs, I don't always wear full make-up and jewelry; I just dress casually but in female attire.

[Leslie Langford]

...and just paraphrase comedian Chris Rock's famous quote that "a man is only as faithful as his opportunities", substituting the word "crossdresser" for "faithful". That's certainly true for many of us here, once the genie has been let out of the bottle.

But it is also safe to say that stress has a lot to do with it, and that our urges to dress up will often coincide with the amount of stress that we may be under at any given time. It is well known that there is a strong correlation between the two, but the good news is that unlike taking drugs, alcohol or binge eating for the same purpose, crossdressing in itself is not as self-destructive, nor is it fattening .

[Byanca]

Nail polish, mascara, fixing my har and something cute to wear. I'm pretty much addicted to all of that. And can't remember ever that I did not want to. However some practicality must be applied. Especially try to avoid severe freezing, as that's taking it too far imo. I'm not all that good at doing makeup. But a little does wonders. If anything, there are huge room for improvements. Not more(it's 27/6 already), but better.

[JamieG]

These days, I am able to go a few months without actually crossdressing, but not a day goes by where I don't think of it. The longest I've probably gone without was a couple of years, but now that I've accepted myself, I couldn't imagine waiting that long. Like many of the other ladies, my need to crossdress increases with the stress in my life, but it is not solely stress-induced. I have various triggers, such as seeing a woman in a pretty outfit or knowing of an upcoming costume party, that tend to peek my desire too.

[Naomi Rayne]

Still all great responses and shows us just how unique all of us are no matter gender or living situation. Your post brandyJ made me smile when you mentioned how much you missed and loved your SO

This is kinda another question which maybe you all can help me with. I have a horrid time with heels.. well first off i feel awkward in them cause as a GG I am naturally tall.. 5'10 and my husabnd is 6' so when I wear anything that has height on it I end up taller then him. He has no issues with it.. im the one that does and it probably goes back to childhood and bening teased for being the tall girl in school.. being called ostrich or ppl laughing saing i could hang glide on a dorito etc.. kids can be mean.. i was always taller then the guys back then. Ive always loved heels and stuff but just way to self concious about my own self to wear them.. which leads me to my issue..

my feet kill me in them.. from the time i put them on just about.. do you all have any tips or tricks with them and wearing them. I know they are bound to hurt eventually but my pain is constant. just curious if there is something out there i dont know about or havnt tried.. thanks in advance

First and foremost some heels may just cause u problems no matter what the height is because everyones feet are different so the first thing is finding a pair that is comfortable on your feet. I havent had the chance to wear heels long enough to know the extent of the pain they cause, but everyone says its kinda like riding a bike, gotta start somewhere small (training wheels). So get a couple pairs that are small, 2 or 3 inch heels, nothing crazy and wear them often to get used to how it feels, once ur finally comfortable with them and can walk in them without any problem you can move up to 3 1/2 in heels or 4 in heels, and then eventually 5 inch heels if you so choose, but each inch even tho small in measurement is alot more pressure on your feet and ankles so it takes time and practice to get used to. Gotta walk before you can run right? So thats my suggestion and something that i have picked up from many around this forum and i hope that the advice helps you. I personally dont think i see enough women in heels because they really make a womens legs look good. So i think its fantastic that your asking for advice and trying to broaden things

[Sarah Doepner]

I started dressing as a teen although I had the interest before then I didn't have the opportunity. The desire dropped off from my mid 20's until my early to mid 40's. I'd dress occasionally but it was very infrequent. When the mid 40's hit, so did a lot of other stresses including kids becoming more complicated, work more demanding and me having less control over my time. Crossdressing was a wonderful way to escape and relax. In my mid 50's my wife became aware of my dressing and has accepted this as part of what makes me who I am. Since then I've dressed much more frequently and enjoy it a lot. However there are still times when crossdressing doesn't fit our obligations or the opportunities are not there. But at those times I probably think about it more than when I can dress. It has grown as part of my life, both as a desire and as a satisfying activity.

Heels are wonderful if you find some that don't cramp your toes and put the pressure on the right part of your foot. Part of that may be the height of the heel. The higher the heel, the more likely it is that the weight of the foot is shifted farther forward to an area that can't support the weight. I have a few pairs of heels that are in the 3 1/2" range that are very comfortable and others much shorter that I've had to send to Good Will because they hurt. Finding a comfortable pair of heels is a rare and beautiful thing.

[Dana]

I like women ~ and I like feminine things~

Always have ~ always will!

My XHEX Chastity for such?

I'm mostly masculine in a 10X's why?

But I do admire and appreciate femininity!

The feminine form and femminity so to speak?

I envy women!

In such that they are not such the clothes the are culturally /socially are awarded to wear?

But the emotions, expressions, their thoughts ~ they can express!

OK~ The lingerie, panties, slips, dresses, makeup, the whole "getting girly" thing is a a lot of fun!

Shopping is a lot of fun!

Being a girl is lot of FUN!

[carhill2mn]

Hi SweetPea_GG. By now I am sure that you have come to realize that 1) there are many different answers to your questions; 2) we are quite thrilled that you are a member here. It is so encouraging to encounter SOs that actually try to understand this complex subject.

Each of us can only respond based upon our own experiences. When I was younger and had a family, career, house, etc. to take care of I would go for fairly long times without actually "dressing". However, the desire, thoughts, wishes were also there, just not the opportunities.

Now that I live alone I am en femme unless my male self is expected. Even though most of my immediate family "knows", I do not present myself as a woman to them.

[Lissa Stevens]

I am pretty much at least partly dressed every day. Have not taken time off from it since I accepted the fact That I am TG.

[randumbness]

I have come to my point in my crossdressing where it's all in or none at all. I feel that only half dressing and trying to present as a male doesn't work for me. If I half dress (like, wear a tanktop but have male sweats and a zip up hoodie on), I have to present as a female and make the attire look as feminine as possible. I can't half present anymore. I also like to fully present, so if I'm en femme, I'm en femme head to toe.

So of course there are times when I'm way too lazy to do it, or I'm not in the mood. I believe it's in the person dressing that feels the urge, and again, no one know's the trigger, but it happens in spurts, rather than as something continuous, save for maybe a few of us. At least, that's what I've observed.

[SweetPea_GG]

thanks for all the great replies everyone. I am glad I was able to come in here and ask a general question. I was actually quite a bit nervous about it in the first place But you all have made me feel right at home. As i knew there would be a large variety of answers and thats good to see too cause we all arnt cookie cutters thats for sure

[Jordan]

I dress most of the time just to what extent do I dress too is the question, I always have a pair of panties on wost of the time im in a bra with panthose and womans outer clothes (i.e. skiirts,pants, and blouses). I have to be alone or go out to put on the make-up and wig or to be able to wear shoes

[Rinoah06]

I only fully dress every now and then. But sometimes I want to do it everyday. I also get dry spells but I don't know if that is me avoiding my true self or i just dont think about it. With my life (military) I have to hide it most of the time. usually my mood is affected by "putting myself away" though.

[Kerigirl2009]

I would have to say for me I never really feel that I don't want to dress. However, I have gone months without getting completely dressed up. Most of the time I think this only makes me think about what I could be wearing more. To curb this feeling I find I always prefer to wear panties and ocassionally a bra or cami under my male clothes.
Now I have been on my dry spell since June 24th 2010 (only dressing twice since) But have not gone out. I have put on a skirt or two for a bit but I think I omly count complete dressing to include make-up and wig. I know I have the urge to dress up building However I have such a hard time communicating this desire to my wife. She knows but has never met my fem side. She is nice about it and I know she would prefer it would just go away. I know from living with this for most of my life that the desire to dress will not go away. only hibernate for a while. I wish you the best of luck and understanding.

[SamanthaS]

The times I don't want to dress are August and July in Vegas. Nothing like thousand degree weather to turn you off to makeup and pantyhose