I've been cross dressing for most of my life but am only now thinking of starting to go outside my house but I just would like to know if I should use the men's or the woman's bathroom.
Thank you, Sara
I've been cross dressing for most of my life but am only now thinking of starting to go outside my house but I just would like to know if I should use the men's or the woman's bathroom.
Thank you, Sara
Sara, it depends on where you live and your personal confidence and courage. Here in California, the law says that I can use the restroom for the gender that I am presenting. If where you live has specific laws prohibiting that policy then you have your answer. If it is ambiguous, then I would say you probably should use the Lady's Room when dressed en femme. I do and would. Many places have unisex, family or one holers where you would be the only one using that restroom.
It's a tough subject on one hand I agree on the other IDK if I would want some guy dressed in the ladies room while my 12 year old daughter is in there.. yes its double standards but Im a very protective father!
Last edited by Zoie; 12-15-2010 at 03:21 AM.
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“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces.
Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.”
-Ashley Smith
Hiya Sara, welcome...
"But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?"
There are some archive posts on this topic if you do a forum search. I posted a couple links to HR sites addressing this...(I'm too lazy to fish em' out again...).
Last edited by eluuzion; 12-15-2010 at 03:20 AM.
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Hi Sara,
When I am presenting female I use the ladies room, when I am presenting male I use the mens room. I live in WA so there are laws saying as such. I feel I would be asking for mockery and ridicule if I were to use the mens room while dressed.
For me when I am dressed I expect people to treat me as female if I were to use the mens room when dressed I would then be telling people that everything I had done to present the way I am was a act. Something not accepted by me, so then why should they accept it.
Although I understand the above poster who expressed fears about children, I am not of the same mind. That attitude is the one that propagates the negative stereotypes that has and will continue to bolster the closeminded publics thought that people who are crossdressers, TG, TS, etc. are sick or deviant. I for one am surprised to hear such a statement from someone on this forum.
I think it's best to respect the laws of science and always match the restroom to your "private parts", whether that matches your SOUL is a fluffy existential debate.
Not only is it the law in MOST places, but if you truly want to fall within the boundaries of all physical and social sciences, then there are steps you can take that warrant it. I don't think I need to mention what the steps are
Plus, there has to be a standard here. When the line becomes blurry, default to tradition and what is between your legs. CD activism on this would be overkill. We're talking about urinating and bowel movements. It shouldn't be all that important to most people.
[SIZE="2"]"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not"[/SIZE]
As stated before, try and use a single user restroom so you can bypass the whole issue completely. And, it is a good idea to "know before you go, so you can go"; before you go somewhere, scout out the restroom situation before you go there dressed. Knowing the law wherever you go (if you can find out) is always a good idea.
I first look for a room that is only for one. If that is not available then I use the ladies because that is how I look and feel. I use the facilities for only one reason. Once completed I leave no playing with makeup or hair etc. Fast in fast out no one cares. Once in a while if there is a line. I have waited but just kept to my self and also had no problem. I believe that if you are in there for the sole purpuse of using the facilites and not lingering about no one will really care. The other reason is that I believe that going into a male restroom dressed as a woman could have problems with some males who shall I say are more aggressive and could hurt you.
TO OVER WEIGHT TO POST A PHOTO, MY wife tells me I look like I am pregnant
Here in the UK most places have to have toilet facilities for disabled people and these are always unisex so that is a neat solution.
I am a man and I just want the freedom to wear what I want in public or private. Is that really too much to ask?
Not this question again!
Someone asked this a few days ago!!
Whenever I have worn a skirt in male mode, there have never been any issues at all.
If you are lucky you can a handicap unisex bathroom that is for one person and locks. If not use the ladies room.
I always use the ladies room when en femme, same with women's dressing rooms when I'm shopping for clothes. As long as there are individual stalls for privacy and you don't hang around the common area (wash basins and mirrors), I don't see it as a problem. However you would be wise to check your state and local laws to see if it's prohibited.
Luv and Jill
Straight, into Fantasy Land
Your probably right but many people do even if they are not cross dressed and it doesn't seem to be a problem I come across in the UK. I've never seen a line of people waiting to get into the disabled toilet. A bit like the disabled car parking spaces which are never being used whilst the rest of us go round and round trying to find a space.
I am a man and I just want the freedom to wear what I want in public or private. Is that really too much to ask?
I always use the ladies room when en femme. Using the men's room would be pretty weird.
My wife gave me this same argument...what about your 12 year old son in a men's room with a gay man? The only difference is that you might spot the TG person.
I am overly protective of my kids but being a parent isn't just keeping them out of harm's way. it is also showing them that you can be safe around people who are different.
I agree and it is not an easy problem to solve either way as stated it's up to state law. Besides I'm not worried if anyone ever did do anything to my kids the law is the last thing they would have to worry about I have enough training, guns, ammo and land to bury a body... Prison or no prison
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“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces.
Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.”
-Ashley Smith
I always get a kick out of the question of which bathroom to use. In Thailand, (when I was serving in the army) it didn't matter. All toilets were uni-sex and nobody gave a second thought of who was on the stool next to you.
Often times, there were not walls between the stools, and I have often wondered, is there proper etiquette to use when wiping yourself in the presence of a lady?
At least there is some privacy in the bathrooms even if you are using the one that you might not use if dressed differently.
Sara
This is a subject that is very well covered by past posts, some of which are recent, and therefore will be valid. The general consensus is always to use the facilities for the gender you are presenting. The use of disabled facilities is unfair unless you are disabled yourself.
As a final note, and as someone has already mentioned, please use the search facility to help you get further information.
For those members who state "not this again", please take the time to check a few details, Sara is a new member and to her this is a whole new world, just because you have some time under your belt, don't dismiss others, you were there once.
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