As a crossdresser even if in the closet are you embarrased or are you happy and accepting of it?
Even if you are accepting of it would you be embarrassed if a friend or family member who didn't know or suspected all of a sudden saw you when you were not prepared to reveal this part of you yet?
Emmi
Since being traumatically outed a while back (and the 'trauma' vanished rather quickly), I flipped from 100% closeted to 100% open. Now, I cannot possibly be embarassed (about CDing - I still have plenty to embarass me, just not that).Originally Posted by emmicd
Oh, but I am prepared! In point of fact, I can't wait to return to Florida and see my oldest, dearest friends, and my youngest sister - and see their reactions! Their acceptance is a given...
[SIZE=1]
Marge, you being a cop makes you the Man, which makes me the woman. And I have no interest in that!
...besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which, as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.
~ H. Simpson
Silly goose, of course that's not me in my avatar![/size]
I am very happy to be me and that will never change.I'm not embarrased of who I am. As far as being confronted by a friend/family member, if theya ccept me or don't accept me thats their choice and won't change who I am
Alternatively or (sometimes at the same time)... I'm happy, ashamed, proud, aroused, and about a zillion other things. Intellectually, I'm totally OK with the whole thing, but I guess the effects of a my staunchly Catholic upbringing linger. Oh well, life still goes on, and is good.
I am becoming more accepting of my crossdressing but it is has virtually taken me 30 years to get to this point.
I still am not prepared to reveal this part of me to others though my wife knows to some degree but I can definitely see it being both a tenuous and liberating experience to reveal it if you had to.
Emmi
Emmi, I used to hide my girls side very carefully. It would have been the worst thing in the world if anyone else were to find out. My male side I showed to the world would have been devastated. Inwardly I was becoming less and less ashamed and I guess more resigned if not accepting.
Tonite I am very much enjoying being a girl. When dressed sometimes I feel that I almost become Christine. A couple of years ago I kind of stopped putting up the male front. When in guy mode that has caused me to become pretty isolated, because where I live, gays are tolerated, but I am not gay so I kind of associate with others but don't get close to anyone. My family knows I dress but it is rarely mentioned. I don't think they realize the extent to which it has gone. I spend most of my free time as a girl. Most of my neighbors know I dress, I have been seen more than once. I cant say that I dont care what they think because I do care but I really dont mind that people are aware that I am often a girl. God knows, and it will be His opinion that matters in the end.
I really need to make an effort to let others into my life. I guess I am a coward at heart because I am scared to take the initiative and open up preferably to a girl or two. There are many who would make great friends or even a partner. There have been occasions when I felt I could have given up cd'ing but it seems those chances are past. I probably would have been better off if I had, but for now I suppose why not enjoy being a girl. It is after all what I always wanted.
Hugs, Christine
I am very happy to be a crossdresser and accept it wholeheartedly. I'm closeted because of my situation with family and friends. I do see myself coming out to my wife someday.
Gennee
I'm getting better with age. I may have started late, but better late than never!
"Don't let anyone define who you are".
I'm in the closet but happy and accepting of it.
To be honest I probably would be a bit embarassed. Hypocritical I know. But I recognize that what I do is something society stigmatizes. So I'm sure that they've probably have all sorts of weird notions that I'd have to dispell.
Lena
A dream? What is a dream, but a blueprint for courageous action.
http://www.adahlshouse.com
You're quite right, Emmi.
I, too, think it would be both scary and liberating to reveal myself. It would be scary because I already know my mom's reaction, which was filled with tears. She thinks I stopped four years ago, but I haven't and she doesn't know that part. She always seems so overwhelmed with everything else that I feel no rush to tell her again at all. I don't know my dad's reaction, really, but doubt it would be that positive. My siblings? Impossible to say. I think of them as open-minded people, but it's always different when it's one of your own family you're dealing with. It would be liberating because there would be no more pretending, no more hiding it, no more problem with letting people see my shaven limbs (when they're shaven) and no more being who they want me to be.
I would be embarrassed if I were caught en femme, but that embarrassment would be much more due to the scene I fear it would cause than the crossdressing itself. I don't think there's anything wrong with what I do and I don't think other people's opinions or reactions have any bearing on that.
Moreover, I like who I am and that isn't going to change even if I am found out. Nor will I stop if I'm found out. I am becoming accepting of who I am. I have always enjoyed my CDing, but now that "final" acceptance is settling in again, I really do love it.
Good post, Emmi!
Hugs,
Lisa
[SIZE="1"]What lies behind me and what lies before me are tiny matters compared to the girl who lies within me.
-- A twist on Ralph Waldo Emerson
To know what you prefer instead of humbly saying Amen to what the world tells you you ought to prefer, is to have kept your soul alive.
-- Robert Louis Stevenson
Ubi dubium, ibi libertas. (Where there is doubt, there is freedom.)
-- Latin Proverb[/SIZE]
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Both, Actually
I am very happy when dressed, but I do worry. My Dad, whom I love very much, doesn't know, and telling him would hurt him badly. I do get nervous when out, but I can get over that.
Waffo!
My two very close friends know, and they have helped me overcome being embarrassed about it. I still have times when i feel mixed up about it, but its certainly easier to deal with if you have shared, your not on your own, and if people know it makes you happy rather than just horny, then they are happy to help and support, either that or i have the two best friends in the world.
As a crossdresser even if in the closet are you embarrased or are you happy and accepting of it?
I am accepting of myself yes.
Even if you are accepting of it would you be embarrassed if a friend or family member who didn't know or suspected all of a sudden saw you when you were not prepared to reveal this part of you yet?
I only have one member left in my family and she knew last year and there's no issues now.
Hello Emmi
Self acceptance was something I always fought against, I was just living a lie, always acting in accordance with my birth gender for the sake of others.
At that time to have been disscovered dressing was a great anxiety to me, to say the least.
However the pressure of maintaining such an act and fighting my true feelings was just too much for me. I came out to Jane about 8 years ago, since then the release of my TG nature has grown and now it is my way of life.
love mand xxx
Last edited by mand; 09-15-2005 at 11:22 AM.
Hi all,
Emmi,
I'm not embarrassed. In fact, I'm proud of who I am. I'll admit it took me a while to get there but there's no going back now. Heh. More often than not it's the people who know this about me that are embarrassed (presumably, embarrassed for me). Fortunately, that's their problem, not mine.
It's a moot point for me whether or not someone discovers that I'm a CD. I've been out for more than 25 years now... at first, only to my family and SO's (that is, before they became my SO's) but, during the past few years, I've been almost screaming it from the rooftops--to colleagues (as well as to my boss--I've even attended a staff meeting in full dress and makeup, but no wig), friends, neighbours, acquaintances, strangers even (and this last has led to some very interesting encounters and developments).
This is who I am. Those that have a problem with that likely have bigger issues to deal with in their own head and in their own heart.
Love,
CJ
I am very happy and comfortable with my fem side. Unfortunately those around me and society in general don't have the same level of comfort. This creates the problem of discovery of Rachel. If all was accepted, then I wouldn't really care who knew!
Rachel Denise
[SIZE="2"]“One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. ‘Which road do I take?’ she asked. His response was a question: “Where do you want to go?’ ‘I don’t know,’ answered Alice. ‘Then,’ said the cat, ‘it doesn’t matter.' "
- Lewis Carroll[/SIZE]
I've always accepted the fact that I am a CD, and the only time I've been unhappy about it is when it hurts my wife.
I would not be embarrassed if anyone else in my family found out. I don't live my life for them.
DonnaT
After many years of fighting with myself. I am now accepting of myself and happy to be a cd. But, I would die of shame if my dad or grandmother found out. Does that makes sense?
Kisses, April
no matter how much love we have, we can not feel it if we are not happy inside
"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways totally worn out, shouting "Holy ****, what a ride!",author unknown
Women to me are gods greatest forms of beauty and art in motion.
I am happy with who I am, only my wife know and she is not happy. But I told her that I am still the guy she married and will not be quitting.
If I were suddenly caught? Well what am I wearing? If in only my undies well yes, as any one in that situation would be. If in a nice skrit and blouse then it would depend on who walked in.
Stephenie
I am completely self-accepting of my CD nature.
If outed unexpectedly, I would probably be startled, but not embarressed. I might not be prepared with the best explanation, but I would have to say "This is who I am."
A close Brit friend of mine (who does not know, but I believe strongly suspects) once remarked after seeing me acting in a play where I was playing a female role, "You lazy transvestite, you." To which I replied, "I am not lazy." He got a big laugh out of that.
Phoebe
I am very comfortable with my dressing, but I am terrified of being outed. Last night, I left my hotel room en femme to have a smoke outside, and when I tried to use my magnetic key to get back into the hotel, it didn't work! I tried it repeatedly, my panic growing by the minute. Finally I had no choice but to pound on the door until a desk clerk let me in. She offered to make me a new key and asked me my last name. I had no choice but to give it to her. Without batting an eye she glanced at her computer and gave me a new key. I'd like to think she just assumed I was my own wife...
I love being me. It has taken years to get used to the fact that there is a guy on the outside and me on the inside. No one has ever given me as much grief as I have given myself. Except for my mom.
Phoebe: Very sharp, that! Love it!
windycissy: As I noted in a post elsewhere that I imagine you haven't seen, people in the hospitality biz see a lot of things, like doctors, &c. That's the blasé reaction you should get in any decent inn; they have no desire to embarass a paying guest...
callygo: As far as giving oneself the most grief, rrroger that! As far as my mother, she died long before I knew what I was myself; sometimes wonder how she woulda taken it...
...'The Magic City,' hmmm? You by any chance a sister Miamian?
[SIZE=1]
Marge, you being a cop makes you the Man, which makes me the woman. And I have no interest in that!
...besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which, as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.
~ H. Simpson
Silly goose, of course that's not me in my avatar![/size]
If you had asked me that question a week ago I don't know how I would have answered it.
But having now spoken to; and chatted with quite a few of the girls here I now have a very strong feeling of pride.
I have met some of the nicest people here that I have ever met in my life!
Ashamed, no way! I am proud and honered to be a part of this community!
Rachael.
I am a TV repair man, if I cant cure me nobody can!
It's what I am and everyone knows...
Der Transsexuellaußenseiter
The lovers have flown...
[SIZE="3"]VENI VIDI VICI[/SIZE]
HI EMMIE to bold and to old to care anymore. just love being fem.
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