Dazed and Confused

[Ever]

Hello everybody,

For such a long time now I have had the desire to dress but have surpressed it due to issues of social conformity and also anxiety over my own mixed up emotions and hold ups. I know that such things dont have to be in public, but for some irritational reason I have always thought I'd be hurting my friends and family doing it, and tarnishing our bond. (Irrational fears eh?)

Well in the past week or so I've decided to take the leap as it were, and go ahead and see if this really is a part of. I have images in my head and of course fantasies but I'm worried about being dissapointed and being unfulfilled. I don't even know where to start to be honest, not even the clothes.

I've read quite few guide tips online but they seem to be aimed at people who have somewhat of a knowledge of how things are and while some of them are useful its just all a little much.

Sorry for rambling but this is the closest I've been to teenage angst in a while!

[Amanda22]

Hi Ever, you did a very wise thing to come to this forum. I'd guess that a great number of members here started out with the same feeling you're experiencing now. There are thousands of posts. Read all you can. You might ponder why you think you'd be hurting your friends and family. Above all, try not to get down on yourself. Allow yourself to be who you are without guilt, as you discover exactly who you are. I hope this helps.

[Karren H]

Yeah!! Social conformity is so over rated!! . Welcome!

[Billijo49504]

Hi Ever, I guess the first thing to do is put on your big gurl panties and proceed from there ;-) Everyone is different, in how they start. My first time dressed was in 1964, when a girl friend dressed me and we went to a drive in movie. That was a long time ago....B illijo

[Ever]

Thanks for the support

I suppose I fear I will hurt those closest to me especially my family because my situation isn't really the easiest. I live with my 83 year old grandfather, who is very much the centre of my life. His daughter and my mother is seriously mentally ill and I know dressing and that sort of thing isn't linked but old people have funny ways of seeing things. If he found out I know he wouldn't disown me or anything but I just don't want to worry him, he's thoughtful in that way.

It's a similar thing with my friends. I'm seen as a bit of a brash sort of person, who has been through hard times, but usually bats things off quite quickly. I just think it may be a bit out of the blue if they ever knew, shocking but not friendship ending as we're a pretty understanding bunch with a lot of history of thrills and spills and other crises.

Of course keeping desires a secret is an option yet I know from past experiences that keeping burning issues private is never a good thing. I'll probably come to some sort of conclusion after I've figured out it isn't so world shattering at all, but until then I suppose I need to do a little soul searching.

[Tasha McIntyre]

Hi Ever, I feel that the call of the wild is starting, and it won't stop until you answer. How, and how far you answer the call is entirely up to you but if you refuse to answer you will only increase the angst you feel at the minute.

The best thing you have done is join here, as there is an abundance of great info / help at the click of a mouse.

If you have nothing at all, the thrift shops are a great place to start. Inexpensive reasonable quality clothing is always there for you to experiment with what styles you like, and what works for you.

Good luck.

Tash

[danielleb]

It sounds like you're trying to put the cart before the horse here. Take the time to find out where your headed before you get there! If you can be satiated by just dressing in private, there's no worries about others, so just find out what you need. Thrift stores are a great place to start!

[Juliemckay]

Start slow, buy one thing and see how that goes. I know part of you wants to jump into the deep end of the pool, I would suggest learning to swim first

[naye]

Hi ever, I think that the best thing that you can do is try it someday, but take it easy, and your family doesn't need to know, what I would do if I were in your shoes, I would go and buy one pair of panties (high rise panties) and a pair of stockings, and just underdress one day, and be like that for a couple of hours and see how you feel, maybe you like it a lot and after start wearing other kind of clothes in private, or maybe you discover that you like only to underdress somedays, maybe when you are stressed or something like that, or maybe you just found that wearing women clothes doesnt represent nothing to you and never do it again, bu the only way to know is to try it someday, if you dont, you always will be guessing "what if" and feel anxious about it.