Nope, For me crossdressing is not about the clothes, it's about my identity.
Nope, For me crossdressing is not about the clothes, it's about my identity.
What she saidOriginally Posted by Kelly DeWinter
Hi d!
The more I dress, the more I want to dress. My SO has always dressed-up - but then that's expected of a female in our society. Privately she enjoys lingerie as much as I do.
Often crossdressing depends on my mood - very often my motivation is sexual and therefore I can easily identify with your observations. Sometimes it is stress-related.
I always feel good when crossdressing - always!
I noticed my attraction to female clothing while I was very young too. The "feeling" was what I needed most of all up to recently. I wanted to share this feeling with my partners - I constantly felt misunderstood and for some reason they (my former relationships) felt threatened by my perceived (and real) desire for them to dress-up more.
I can happily admit though that dressing just for the sake of dressing and simply looking pretty is becoming more important for me.
Gaby
Nope. Two different tracks.
Sarah
Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
NO. why should she be the only one wearing pretty things?
P.S: now i don't have a GF but, in the past i didn't stop me from CDing
feel free to visit my flickr
http://www.flickr.com/photos/helenagcd/
add me on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/helena.cross.35
Although I have joked other forums that I wear fun, sexy lingerie because someone in our house should, it's not really true. There was a period where my wife wore nice lingerie and I still wore it. Often I would buy her something and return at some point and buy the same thing for me.
For me it's sexual,the gurly girl get's my attention every time.The pictures at this site make the wheels spin and stir the imagination. My wife dislikes it and can't be bothered, even when I ask. It's been decades since Gypsy Sam was tried out and discussed.She abides my private time and private stash, yet avoids talking about it . Yes I would decrease my dressing if my wife would abide me with dressing sexy.
This thread however has expanded my awareness to the high percentage who answered nope, and through reflection makes me wonder if I could enjoy being Gypsy Sam with her.
An obvious NO for identity dressers. But I'm sure many of us pleasure dressers have contemplated the question before. I have chatted (online) with many pleasure-dressing cd's who, like me, say that through crossdressing they created the woman they desire to have. I would strongly crave my partner to indulge my deepest dressup desires, but such a woman was not to be found, so I created her myself. If my woman were to wear the sexiest clothes, the highest heels, heavy makeup perfectly applied, long thick monster eyelashes, dark red lipstick heavily applied with long painted nails to match, etc. etc. etc. I believe that my desire to "have" those things may be satisfied without being the wearer. I said "may be" satisfied. Really not sure. My mind endlessly fantasizes about those things (as mentioned) that excite me: sometimes as worn by a female, and sometimes worn by myself. The ultimate fantasy is both, together.
It's a good question for discussion, but pretty meaningless for cd's other than fetish/pleasure dressers.
The idea that having a girlfriend or wife being feminine, wearing lingerie, dressing up really nicely every day, etc. is a cure for crossdressing is utterly false. Plenty of us have made this error before, thinking once we found a 'real' woman, we'd be 'cured' and wouldn't have to worry about crossdressing anymore. It doesn't work that way. Don't delude yourself.
My wife is quite feminine. We've been together more than ten years. She knows all about my crossdressing, and knew before we were engaged. My desire to crossdress is not at all decreased by her wearing sexy lingerie, or dressing up really nicely. In fact, a bit more of the opposite.
Well, it's not about finding a "real" woman. Yes, I was one of those who made the mistake of thinking that crossdressing would be cured by marriage. But we must understand that we dress in women's clothes for different reasons. For some it's about their feminine identity, and it's not about the clothes. For others, it is about the clothes, and for some, only about the clothes. Like others, I love to make up and dress up, but it's about feeding my fetishes. Those fetishes could be fed by others. But they aren't, so I make up and dress up. Let's quit thinking that we are all driven the same.
Very well put Nicole. You put into words exactly how I feel. I think that for me, I started dressing, and my dressing progressed mainly because I was (and am) catering to my fantasies by creating the sexy girl I want but that is very hard to find. Like you, I think that it has progressed to a point that even if I did find the a person who really enjoyed wearing sexy lingerie for me, I don't know if I would stop dressing, although as I mentioned before, I have noticed that when I get a new girlfriend and the sex is new and exciting, my desire to dress goes down considerably and when starting a new relationship I have gone months without dressing (or without dressing nearly as much). I have a feeling that for the first several months it would satisfy me, but as the sex got more and more routine (which, lets face it, it does in a long term relationship), my desires would start coming back.
It seems like most individuals on this board are "identity dressers" and I can see why even having a significant other who wears clothes that you love would not diminish yours desires. That is a need that cannot be satisfied by someone else. But I agree with you, Nicole, that for some of us (the pleasure dressers), our need is, at least to a certain extent, to simply have sexy clothes in our lives in one form or another, and that need can be satisfied in a couple of different ways. For us, it is a matter of utilizing the best available method based on our personal prefrences. I am sure that there are non-dresser's out there who's SOs won't wear sexy clothes as often as they would like so they fill their need simply by looking a pictures of women dressed in lingerie. For them, that is their next best alternative.
Interesting discussion.
Right on, Daniel. As you said in your OP, it's about getting your "fix". In your case, lingerie fix, and for others of us, other things. There are different ways of getting that fix, either by crossdressing or by having a partner who willingly indulges our fantasies. High heels, for one, excite me, and I can get that fix even without wearing them. Of course, wearing them works, too. While I like lingerie, it isn't the focus of my crossdressing or excitement when worn by others, but it's easy for me to see how, why, and to what extent that lingerie excites you, and how you can get your fix. Identity crossdressers don't see articles of female clothing the same way as we do, so they would predictably not be fulfilled by others wearing them.
One thing identity dressers and pleasure dressers have in commom is that we wear women's clothing and sometimes all that goes with it. That's pretty much where the similarities end. We are so very different in what drives our crossdressing, but we are all here together in discussions about it. When a thread starts about fetishes, for example, some identity dressers seem to be compelled to chime in with" "I don't have any fetishes". Why? I think to elevate themselves above the sexual aspect of crossdressing, as if that's something to be ashamed of. If there's a topic that I don't relate to, I don't post.
I will agree that others wearing the things we like will never be a "cure" for crossdressing. Cd-ing will always be exciting or me. But reality sets in, and I am seeing the effects of aging. I still love to make up (a real turn-on for me) and dress up and wear high heels (another turn-on), and still get excited with what my eyes see and what my brain processes, but I can't make myself into that dripping-with-sex goddess (in my eyes) like in my younger and slimmer days. But others can, and I can easily see how my fetishes can be indulged to my great satisfaction but someone else in lieu of my crossdressing. Maybe others can't be satisfied this way, but it's somewhat arrogant for someone else to tell me I can't.
I was able to stop crossdressing for quite a while when in a stable relationship; I don't know whether I would have been able to sustain it though. Stress brings out (or perhaps lets the desire to crossdress overcome my defense mechanisms) my desire to crossdress.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
No way! I might want some matching lingerie tho...
"It makes no difference whether the voices in their transformations have each other to depend on or not. Smooth them out on the whetstone of the universe (tian), use them to go by and let the stream find its own channels; this is the way to live out your years. Forget the years, forget duty, be shaken into motion by the limitless, and so find things their lodging-places in the limitless." ~Zhuangzi
"everyone here hates everyone here for doing the same thing that they do." - Less Than Jake
hi to the point hell no i love my lingerie . love deanna
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