As a CD, would you say you're a bit... Skitzophrenic ?

[Lilaka Ananda]

The personae in my life display a spectrum of character traits. Obvs, as Lilaka, they skew to naughty party girl. While that is somewhat of a departure from who I normally am en drab, there's enough of a crossover to say that Lilaka is more a coloring of my day-to-day persona rather than a separate one.

[Kate Simmons]

It can basically take on a mind and a life of it's own if allowed to.

[Laura_Stephens]

I am not schizophrenic and neither am I.

[DaniPat]

I know I am being pedantic, but I feel that I owe it to my beloved and deceased schizophrenic brother to point out that you are referring to a multiple personalities disorder and not schizophrenia.
Liz

Liz, my deepest heartfelt condolences about your brother. While I do understand that Schizophrenia is a very serious mental disorder, I feel that the actual meaning, of this thread, truly is more about the "Duality" of the crossdresser personae. Those of us who have not considered transitioning or have not already consolidated their disparate personae, would fall under the "Duality" moniker for how we differentiate between being Femme and being Male. So please understand I do not think this thread really intended to offend those who have, or have had, loved ones who suffer(ed) with this disorder. Be at peace and have a Happy New Year.

[Jill]

I'm going to sound like a bit of a pretentious snob right now but as a therapist, I feel like I have a duty to dispel the myths and ignorance around schizophrenia. Even though schizophrenia means "split mind" they are people who are generally just really withdrawn from other people and they are really confused, they have difficulty distinguishing between reality and what is being fabricated by their broken hardware upstairs. The mental illness you're referring to is actually Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD) but that has even been changed by the American Psychological Association to Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Those are the people who literally one minute is Janice the 35 year old house wife and the next they are Gabriel, the 6 year old fist grade boy. I believe this is what you're talking about, being two different people.

And to answer your question, I initially heard people talk about their femme side as being like a different person and thought it was silly, I couldn't relate to it. Then I started going out a bit and going to Tri-ess meetings and found that yes, my personality is a bit different when I'm out dressed. I'm actually funner, funnier, more playful, more engaged with people and conversation and maybe a bit more sensitive too.

[Kate Lynn]

No offense but it's spelled schitzophrenic,the Army doctors diagnosed me as that after I returned from Viet Nam in 1970.As for now,I am who I am,a man who likes to dress funny,as if everyday were halloween.......LOL

As for that me who returned from Viet Nam in 1970,I keep that self on a back burner.

[Kaz]

Hi Liz,

I appreciate the pain you went through having some experience of this condition myself (not me or anyone close, thank God!). I don't think the OP meant any harm and did talk about "metaphorically" and I think this conveyed what the rest of us took to be the meaning... Though I do really appreciate the trigger that the word invokes.

On the multiple personality disorder issue, I do not think I am, as I always feel that I am in control and can walk away at will. What I have found is that more seriously I have got into this CD side, the more I learn and appreciate about women, and certainly empathise with far more aspects of what we would call loosely call a feminine mindset. Some of this is quite eyeopening and I could easily say that this is an example an emerging identity.

However, I firmly believe that it is and always has been me, just not awakened. I work in leadership and management development and it is amazing what you can unearth for people. Skills and capabilities that have always been there but have been suppressed.

That doesn't say that given the number of members on this site there are not statistically going to be some with mental health issues... This is really going to be more a given than a supposition.

So your point is very well made ideed.

[Elizabeth Ann]

DaniPat
Originally Posted by Elizabeth Ann
I know I am being pedantic, but I feel that I owe it to my beloved and deceased schizophrenic brother to point out that you are referring to a multiple personalities disorder and not schizophrenia.

Liz, my deepest heartfelt condolences about your brother. While I do understand that Schizophrenia is a very serious mental disorder, I feel that the actual meaning, of this thread, truly is more about the "Duality" of the crossdresser personae. Those of us who have not considered transitioning or have not already consolidated their disparate personae, would fall under the "Duality" moniker for how we differentiate between being Femme and being Male. So please understand I do not think this thread really intended to offend those who have, or have had, loved ones who suffer(ed) with this disorder. Be at peace and have a Happy New Year.

Thanks. I try not to be a jerk about this, but I really meant that I owe it.

When he died a sudden and tragic death related to this illness, I had to go get his personal effects out of his university apartment. That is where I found his diary. In it was the expected dismay, fear, anger, and frustration. But there was something else: shame. Here was a brilliant and gentle young man writing about slowly loosing his grip on reality, and he was ashamed of it.

I almost fainted before crying like a baby. Right then I resolved never to make another joke that would make someone with a mental illness feel ridiculed or belittled. No one should be any more ashamed of a mental illness than of leukemia or cancer, and fear of discovery delays treatment and often makes things worse.

I know that this group will be sympathetic to secrecy and guilt about something over which you have little control. It is just that all of us, myself included, can convey that message without even being aware of it.

So, I have a considerable debt to extinguish in these teachable moments.

Liz

[Cari]

Elizabeth Ann, I am sorry a thread I posted in caused you discomfort.
It certainly wasnt the intention.

I always like to take advantage of a teachable moment.
Is there another description or term that we could use that wouldn't be hurtfull ?

[kaitlin]

I have found that about 75% of the time that I am fully dressed there is a big change in my actions, words and major changes in the bedroom! Some times it's like a foggy feeling and sometimes I don't remember much of the event! The other 25% it's just little ole me in my fav clothes!

[kathie225]

Perhaps some are experiencing the "two spirit" ness of our native american shamans. Aspects of both genders are manifested and this "uniqueness" qualified them for appropriate positions in the tribe. This is a very over simplified explanation in keeping with my mood on this New Year's eve. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!

[Elizabeth Ann]

Elizabeth Ann, I am sorry a thread I posted in caused you discomfort.
It certainly wasnt the intention.

I always like to take advantage of a teachable moment.
Is there another description or term that we could use that wouldn't be hurtfull ?

Cari,
No problem. It is not really my discomfort as much as it is that I feel an obligation to reduce the stigma of mental illness. I firmly believe that many lives could be saved and enriched if individuals were not afraid to seek treatment.

As for a term for this thread, how about just asking if your personality changes when you dress. I know that mine does. Not so much in the way I think or in any alternate persona. More in the way I feel and interact with others. My own therapist even pointed out to me that my body language changes significantly, although I had not even been aware of doing so.

Liz

[juno]

As has been pointed out, the discussion is really about Multiple Personality Disorder. The mental illness is now termed Dissociative Identity Disorder, because many sane people have multiple personalities. DID is when a person has multiple personalities that are distinct and don't share memories with each other. DID would be a male waking up having lost several days time, and find out that it was spent living as a female.

Multiple personalities are common. Some people act much more aggressively when driving (road rage). Likewise, when "driving" your female self, it is easy to associate it with a feminine personality, and behave quite differently.

I wonder if the androgen/estrogen balance actually changes among the two personalities. I would not be surprised. Your brain controls everything, so living with different personalities active certainly has the potential to produce actual changes in body chemistry.

[ninapuella]

Yes i find it pretty schizofrenic. I am always me but it is after all an another gender-identity with lots of feelings and so on so ofcourse there is a difference from being in male-mode. The whole appearance is different. For me it is not only about the clothes and the make-up.

[LitaKelley]

Hmmm...


Yes, I am.

In drab = miserable, angry, depressed, easily agitated, irritable, sarcastic, ugly
female = happy, pleasant, content, on top of the world, at peace, beautiful

[eluuzion]

My simple reply…”No”

I am not a licensed doctor. I just pretend to be one with certain girlfriends, lol.

I know better than to try and debate the factuality of medical definitions or explanations that pop up in forum thread… when I am not a licensed medical professional. But I can offer some resources that I feel might help clarify the issues here…

Excerpt from an article written by Ralph B. Allison, M.D. on dissociation.com website. He is a retired board-certified forensic psychiatrist who has been treating dissociators since 1972...

“Therefore, MPD should be used for those who suffer the first major assault which causes a dissociative response before the seventh birthday. DID should be used for those who experience dissociation following the first major assault after the seventh birthday. MPD multiples will have been abused in the parental home. DID multiples will have been abused either in the home, school, or community. MPD multiples need to dissociate to ensure their physical survival after assault by a primary caretaker. DID multiples dissociate to defend themselves from further assault by those who are endangering their present welfare. They do not know how to do it with coping methods which must be learned from more experienced persons.”

Definition of MPD (multiple personality disorder)
http://www.dissociation.com/2007/definition.asp

Differences between MPD, DID, Internalized Imaginary Companions
http://www.dissociation.com/topbar1.jpg

Diagnosis and Treatment of MPD/DID
http://www.dissociation.com/2007/doc...d/MPDIDPAP.TXT

Master Subject Index page at dissociation.com
http://www.dissociation.com/2007/subjects.asp

moving on...
Schizophrenia? Not even close to that tortuous, cognitive nightmare.

Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD)? No, authentic cases extremely rare and requires “pre-7 years old“ diagnosis.

Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)? No, requires “post-7 years old” diagnosis.

Excluding gender specific issues confirmed by licensed mental health professionals, I have not encountered any members in this forum section that come close to meeting the diagnostic criteria of these or other “personality disorders” that are suggested at various times.

In my opinion…
This issue has little to do with being “insane“ and everything to do with self deception & “shifting blame.”

Self deception is an interesting and versatile tool. You don’t have to be a psychotherapist to see the advantages of creating “another” person.
-Some Children create imaginary friends that help them deal with issues they cannot manage alone. It is not unusual to find the “It wasn’t me, it was “him” explanation.

-Criminals prefer the “The Devil made me do it” version of shifting blame.
It just presents in different forms to serve the needs of the person applying it.
- “Temporary Insanity” defenses sometimes grasp at the brass ring of the “other identity” when the defense case is sinking.
- Suspects in criminal investigations frequently point the finger of blame toward “this other guy they saw“…that eventually is found to not exist.

It is no surprise that “companion identities” are typically “different” than the person that creates them. The personality of the “other identity” typically displays all of those desirable traits that the person desires, but is unable to incorporate into their current relationship. “You” can’t bring them in, so you create “another person” “someplace else“…that can do those things you desire, but are denied. That is also the reason the “other person” appears to be “gaining strength“. It is simply more fun to be that other “person” that you cannot be at “home”.

The more attributes and realism you assign to that “second person”, the better you feel. At some point it becomes comfortable enough to view that “person” as being capable of independent behavior and action. Bingo, the last piece of the puzzle is in place…

Now that “feminine person” named ______, is free to explore anything “she” desires. “You” of course should not be unjustly blamed for the behavior and actions of “somebody else”, right?

It is analogous with drawing the “Proceed Directly to “GO” card in a Monopoly game. Only it is even better, because you also have one of those “immunity idols” (on the show “survivor”) around your neck, as a back-up. You are now “off and running”…

At least it feels that way in YOUR mind...eh?

“Hey, it wasn’t me! It was “her”!…in the library…with the rope…lol.”

Telling a few harmless lies is not a major crime. I mean, hey, these days nobody listens to anybody when they are talking anyway…right?

Just a few thoughts from my perception. Nothing personal, just focusing on behavior...not "you"...

Hey, I feel much more like I do now, than I did a little while ago…

HaveFun/Be Happy & Happy New Year !

oxoxo
“Lady Macbeth”


It is safe to assume the content I post reflects my personal opinion. It is always influenced by my education,(B.A. Psychology), personal experience (two long term friends of family were psychiatrists), research (abnormal psychology major) and personal observations (clinical & independent). If I initially fail to include the source and/or support documentation for anything that may imply “fact”, I am always prepared to provide it. If any content I post offends or disrespects anyone, I can assure you, it was not intentional.

Liz...point well taken, thanks for making it a highlight...

[Mackenzie]

There's no doubt about it. When I am en femme, I am not XXX, but Mackenzie. My whole thinking changes, a switch gets flipped somehow and it's fun. There is a wonderful, very strong, feminine side to my mind and soul. When I am dressed, that all comes out. But in guy mode, I'm all guy.

It seems that somehow there is a surge of latent estrogen in my system when I am dressed and not only my actions and thoughts, but my feelings and senses take on a strikingly feminine expression. There is a fresh gentleness, receptivitiy to those things around me in a very different way, connectiveness in a deeper fashion than the "surface male".

There are times that I am so sick and tired of my maleness, it is so, as I said, surface, one dimensional, boring. In Mackenzie mode, there seems to be a depth in my feelings that is not there in male mode. I love that, its refreshing and real and enjoyable, not something that I get to experience when in male mode.

Sort of interesting... I tell my wife that I just can't get my mind around why I enjoy being Mackenzie, and I think I'm just now, as writing, flushing out much of what I am trying to tell her.

Whatever it's all about, I am enjoying Mackenzie much more than that other person. But for the sake of family and other extremely important things, I must be XXX most of the time and learn to live with that.

Mackenzie

[Claire Cook]

Schizoid? Who ... us?

People who know me both en drab and en femme have commented that I'm more talkative, demonstrative, gregarious and confident when I am dressed. So ..I'm trying to be more like that no matter what I am wearing.

[Aleca]

I go back a couple weeks, walking around a local park dressed up. First couple of times I acted feminine, in body language and even voice changed octaves. However by the third time I was out my view of myself changed, that I was just a male dressed in female clothing and acted totally male. I guess reality hit me all the sudden that I was who I was on the inside.
But yes I have had periods where I literally felt a multiple personality disorder in me.

[Robyn2006]

Schizophrenic? Yes, absolutely. Really, it's so funny and always has been for me. I can walk down the street at any time and blink, imagine myself as the women I'd so like to be, and… bam! there I am in female mode and the world becomes so completely different. I seem to walk differently, see the colors of everything, feel the air around me adjust to another plane entirely, and see men in… well, another way entirely. Then blink again, and I'm back in male mode and the world has adjusted back to, well… gray mode. This used to bother me, as the question of course is, what is real? But the answer is, of course, both. I'm transgendered, living within a perceived male identity. Schizophrenia is just part of my life.

Robyn

[ChristiesGurl]

Seems like their are several topics on this subject lately. Christie and M. act very differently so... possibly yes.

[Angiemead12]

yes Im crazy and I love it! hahaha

I do become more feminine when dressed, clothes do alter my moods. When male im masculine, when female im feminine. they do blend together from time to time as well.

[Loni]

i don't know, i had better ask my male self and let him know what to think before answering this question.

but then i only do what the voices in my head let me do.


.

[marny]

Once a girl, always girl! nuff said

[VanessaVW]

I think I'm the same person. In drab, I think I may subconsciously try to overcompensate a bit to be more "male". Sort of sad that I have to cover up and conceal parts of my personality and self, isn't it?