Out with Spouse, awkward?

[Lena Teegal]

I know exactly what you mean, even when not out but at home when dressed I feel this way. For me I just started acting more natural little by little, and I grew more comfortable. She didn't have a problem with it.

[sarac]

My first time yes i felt so awkward. I felt i could not be as girly as i felt. She did try to tell me to relax. I think i was maybe more afraid to show it. On our third time out i feel i needed to try and feel as if we were just 2 girls out and was better.

[tamarav]

[SIZE=4]I told my wife well before we got really serious and later married. She has been going out with me for over 25 years and still has a lot of fun doing it. She has never been adverse to our going out, in fact, she gives me pointers on how to be more feminine. I have listened to her and she has been incredibly supportive.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]

[JohnH]

Tamara,

You do an incredible job of listening to your wife. You look more feminine than 90 percent of the GG's out there!

Johanna

[busker]

It is a bit like playacting --probably for most I'd guess. Just imagine how you feel if you dressed up as an astronaut and tried to convince a real astronaut that you were one of them. You might have some of the jargon down, but there is a whole lot more to being an astronaut than wearing a space suit.
Subconsciously, we KNOW we are not genetic females and looking at one--a wife, a gf, a passerby, and trying to "fool" them makes us nervous. Your SO's know that you are NOT female and trying to fool them is going to be--?????
How we feel to ourselves is a different matter, but few of us are going to superb actors to pull it off. SO's that are confortable with their CD spouses, and not looking to be convinced that you are indeed a female.
Just a thought. It might be less awkward if both just think it's holloween come early, and have a good time out.

[Mindymaycd]

I have been out with my wife one time; we went to the Adam Lambert concert. I had told her the only way she would get me to go to it would be with me in fem. She said O.K. so we did it. Having only been out a hand full of time and only to CD venues, it was very intimidating.
We had to walk about a block to the venue and I was so stiff, I know I was not even passing from behind. My big revelation was that no one gave a dam about me being in fem. They just enjoyed the show. I did not have a good time as I was so uptight and not willing to interact with anyone.
I left the venue about ten minutes before the end of the show as I did not want all the lights on and having to deal with the unknown.
The best part of the night was my walk back to the car. I was a bit frightened but it was such a rush walking in my heels and mini skirt. I took the long way to the car walking about four blocks. The only issue was when I walked to the rear of the venue the roadies were there pointing at me and making comments that I was not able to hear.
I would say the problem was me being to uptight about the whole thing. Had I just enjoyed being a girl and not about my inability to pass and how much I looked like a guy in a dress, I would have had a much better time.
The lesson, Just enjoy yourself.

[Missy Tanya]

I'm one of the lucky ones that have had my wife by my side for many a night out. She was there so many years ago for my first time out, Halloween, but we did win a prize. Then just two years ago when the desire kicked in big time. She was holding my hand as we walked into the TS Support Group Meeting for the first time I told anyone else that Tanya exist. Then two weeks later to my official coming out Party. Now two years later, she isn't always by my side, welcome anytime. But she says Tanya needs her time out enjoying herself too.

So last year, Tanya walked outside and enjoyed the world, 23 times. Want more each time..

Tanya

[Debutante]

I went to a Halloween party several years ago wih my wife. She helped with make-up and hair. we went to a TG group's party. It all went well.
But nothing since that time... I'd love to go out again, but i need practice and building of a new confidence based on new self-realization,
and self-aceptance.
My wife is very accepting... it's all up to me now...

[Tanya C]

I love going out dressed with my spouse. She doesn't inhibit me at all. To the contrary, she has been very encouraging and helpful with my female presentation.
Of course, I enjoy spending time with her in any mode. I just love being with her.

[mywifeswoman]

My wife loves doing it with me and wants to take me out for a day with her. Il have to tell ya about it when it happens!

[linda allen]

I went to a Halloween party several years ago wih my wife. She helped with make-up and hair. we went to a TG group's party. It all went well.

Well, I sort of did that many years ago but that was before I really "got into" crossdressing (but not before I had done it). There were several other guys dressing as women and nobody trying to "pass".

Looking back, I really missed an oportunity with that. My wife loaned me an outfit, bra, etc. but there was no wig, makeup, butt pads, etc. If I ever get the chance again, I'll demand more.

[cindym5_04]

My wife and I go out together randomly. It, to a point, doesn't seem any different than normal, aside from the fact that we're generally at a club and I'm in heels and makeup and wig.

[Marilyn Beck]

I went out dressed with my wife for the first time last week. It was awkward and not a lot of fun.

I have been dressing regularly at home for about two years and have been out in public (always alone) only a few times. My wife and I don't go out together in public in our home town because we are concerned that she will be recognized and I will be outed. But she agreed to go out with me during our vacation in New Orleans last week. Our plan was to walk a few blocks from our hotel to Harrah's and hang out in the casino for a while. Depending on how things went, we might venture elsewhere in the French Quarter.

We went to Harrah’s for about an hour, as planned, then returned to our hotel room for a bathroom break. We then walked several blocks to Café du Monde, a major tourist trap, for beignets (glorified donuts) and coffee. As usual, I was both nervous and excited about being dressed in public. But the presence of my wife was distracting and diluted my enjoyment of the en femme experience. Part of the problem was my wife’s attitude. I think she felt she was doing me a big favor by letting me go out dressed with her, and therefore she expected me to go along with her agenda. Before leaving the hotel, she was hungry and impatient, and she rushed me to get ready in a hurry. Although I wasn’t quite happy with my makeup and wasn’t psyched up to feel girly, she whisked me out the door, down the elevator and out to the busy sidewalk. My wife is fast walker, and it made me uncomfortable to weave through the crowds as I tried to keep pace with her. Usually, I try to maintain a low profile and not draw attention to myself. But following my wife often placed me in highly visible and awkward positions. I was especially nervous as my wife led me into the very crowded outdoor seating area at Café du Monde. She was annoyed by my trepidation, and complained that it was not much fun being out with me en femme.

On a positive note, we did not experience any negative reactions to my crossdressing. In fact, I did not perceive that anyone even read me (except a Harrah’s cocktail waitress, who smiled and called me “baby”). Frankly, I had the most fun while my wife and I split up and went our separate ways in the casino. I think my biggest problem with being dressed in public with my wife is loss of control. When I am alone, I am not subject to my wife’s unpredictable whims and can exercise more discretion over the situations I place myself in. I need to gain more experience and confidence dressing in public by myself before I consider going out with my wife again.

[kimdl93]

One of my long term goals is to be able to go out and travel with my wife - en femme. I live en femme nearly 24/7 (since I work from home), but so far, when we go out, I can wear some marginally feminine items, such as androgynous tops, heeled sandals, and a touch of make up. Still, when/if the time does come to go full en femme, I may be a little self conscious at first, just as I was the first time I wore heels in public.

[joank]

I have had this happen just once (so far). It was to look at the Christmas lights in the neighborhood with her doing the driving (see old post). I would like to go out again but she may be afraid of my being outed(?) or maybe her psych can't/won't process it. I hope this will change.

[Jenniferathome]

I am still quite firmly in the closet, happy with dressing at home. My wife is very OK with it, and has suggested that we test the waters on an outting together beyond the front door. At this stage I am not ready for that...I would feel very awkward. One day maybe.

Sally, you are missing out on the day of your life. I wish I had someone to share my days out. Go!