I'm a crossdresser and I'm looking to date a woman. I'm on a dating service and I want to put something in my profile that might clue in or attract a woman that would be into or at least open to a crossdresser. I don't want to go right out and say that I'm a crossdresser. Anybody have any ideas?
Tracy
Not too many women are into it outright unless they've experienced it, but finding women open to it is certainly possible. It would be interesting to take an informal poll of the GG's on here who really are into it, not just because they love their SO, but would be into it with a new partner too, to see if we have anything in common.
For me I would say that being politically on the far left would be a good start, but that might just be me. I think women who are more sexually experienced might find an easier time of it too.
Its very much trial and error, when it comes to finding a woman who is actively looking to date a CD/TG. I've found bisexual women tend to be the most accepting of it, at least in that they don't mind you dressing up in private. They tend to vary on their level of acceptance beyond that, some will let you be femme for all aspects of life, others will only go out with your femme self to gay/trans friendly locales. The trick is finding someone who actually embraces it, because I've dated a number of women who claimed to be OK with it at the start, and realized over time it wasn't something they were truly prepared to deal with.
I would NOT recommend using words like "feminine" to describe yourself, Tracy! Maybe words like; sensitive, introspective, calm, not argumentative, etc. mite be BETTER? Oh! And, don't forget to mention that u LOVE TO SHOP! Lol!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
try metro-sexual or if you are really brave: TG
What I would recommend you do is not put it in your ad. i think you will find it hard to find women who will either be attracted specifically or even willing to go past the first message. On the flip side of things, I think you may find many women are patient with such things. When I was doing some CDing to try and calm my GID down, I really didn't have a lot of trouble finding accepting women. In fact, two I met while dressed ( that definitely gets it out on the table quick). The "when to tell" is a complex issue with no good answer . . .
There is a road—no simple highway—between the dawn and the dark of night.
And if you go no one may follow. That path is for your steps alone.
You might also use terms like "broad sense of fashion." It suggest you are both open to different looks and the somewhat distateful pun of "broad" tells which fashion sense you like.
How about..."I REALLY do want in your panties!"
Em
Living with a heel in each world.
Is your profile M or F ?
My profile is a male profile. Should I say "working to develop my feminine side?". Maybe that's too direct.
No, don't talk at all about you and CDing in any way. Try to screen for women who would be accepting. Focus on them, not you. Like, "looking for an openminded, very liberal woman who is confident in her own sexuality and isn't afraid of taking the reins in a relationship."
bingo !!Originally Posted by cordgrass
There is a road—no simple highway—between the dawn and the dark of night.
And if you go no one may follow. That path is for your steps alone.
I placed an ad on match.com that was pretty open about myself.
It was pulled.
I have serious doubts about the euphemistic method. Most women aren't looking to decipher a cryptic message inside an advert. And if they can decipher the message 90% will drop you immediately.
I think a crossdresser is happier with a woman that likes crossdressers. I know they're rare but they do exist. My best sexual experiences were with a woman into crossdressers. I met her by being open with friends, not dressing publicly but being open with my desires. I feel I may have accidentally returned to the closet since then. But I intend to be more honest with my desires.
Have you tired alternative and open sites like okcupid and fetlife?
-=CherryZips=-
I'm on fetlife and I think your odds are better at a regular dating place. Most of the sub women aren't into CD's, and even many of the domme women aren't, except for service subs. And that wouldn't be a primary relationship. The dommes who are into CDs and aren't pros are overwhelmed with attention from subs. So it is very competitive.
There are a few women on fetlife who aren't into BDSM and only into crossdressing, but usually they are there because their boyfriend dresses.
Another reason not to be too specific in your profile is that many if not most of the mainstream dating sites will kick you off if you don't fit their male/female categories. I know I've been denied membership by two of them cuz I was upfront about wanting to identify as CD or TG.
Hmmn I feared that would be the case.
The problem the crossdresser faces is hiding their sexual identity while looking from someone into that sexual identity. For meeting women who desire crossdressers rather than tolerating them its a massive problem. Dating is difficult enough with out hiding your identity.
What numbers are we looking at? How many women in 1000 enjoy crossdressers? How many dates does that mean? It would streamline the process to be open from the start.
And for the crossdresser that can enjoy some BDSM is it worth it?
Can we say there are more crossdressers on fetlife than vanilla sites?
I mean at least BDSM sites have an option for crossdressers which is not available on ordinary sites.
Can we say women on a BDSM site would be more open to a crossdresser?
Last edited by CherryZips; 01-07-2011 at 01:16 PM. Reason: adding quote attribution
-=CherryZips=-
Wow. I have never used a dating site, and I wasn't aware of those restrictions. I am kind of surprised this is not considered discrimination.
I know that in my local group on Fetlife, there's not much interest in CDers. I even went to one of their vanilla gatherings and while everyone was nice, it was clear there wasn't much interest. I don't know if that's cuz I'm butt-ugly or cuz I'm a CDer. :-P A few guys from the group did hit on me in private, but zero GGs.
It obviously is discrimination, but I don't think there's any law against it. "We reserve the right etc etc." That was 2 or 3 years ago, but I doubt that they've changed their policy.
Last edited by Nigella; 01-07-2011 at 01:51 PM. Reason: Merged consecutive posts
I wouldn't say that there are more crossdressers on fetlife than on vanilla sites. I posted on plentyoffish that I was looking only for crossdressers and got a pretty large response from men. A lot of flakes on that site though!
It's so hard to find a woman into CD, or a nice *******, I think it would just be easier to find another cute CD instead.
I would think it's much easier to find another CD to be with.
I think looking for a woman who is into it rather than tolerating it is too vague. Five years ago I wasn't into it at all, wasn't even on my radar. I would assume that would be the case with most women. But just because I had never considered the idea didn't mean that I would never be into it. It was crushing on a celebrity who I strongly suspect is a CD that opened my eyes to the attraction. For the record, on the celebrity's messageboard I've posted my suspicions, and almost half of the fangirls said they would be very into it if he was a crossdresser. That's why I think it's easier to try for a vanilla woman and convert her, rather than be outright looking for a CD-lover.
And for the record, I am really into it now!
I don't get how anyone can just decide who they are attracted to. If we could decide things like that we could decide not to crossdress.
I do think women who are into crossdressers need to witness a crossdresser in some way before they realise they like them. Even if its only seeing one in a club.
Go on. Who was it?Depp? Noel Fielding?
-=CherryZips=-
Women are more flexible when it comes to that. Women fall in love with the person and the sexual attraction follows.
I'm certainly just guessing on the celebrity, but here's a pic:
So...maybe the picture on the dating site might be helpful, while not giving it away to everyone. Flowery t-shirt. Pink teddy bear on the bed in background. Subtle lipstick, makeup or neutral nail polish. A little guyliner. The right person would pick up on the signals--or not.
a knockout. i'm not a celebrity maven, who is it?
Stephen Colbert in Wigfield?
I'm not sure of the exact appearance.
-=CherryZips=-
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