Stop! What are you thinking about. Come on admit it.......

[Kelly Greene]

I am a hopeless letch I check out every woman I see especially if she is wearing a dress/skirt and heels, but what do I think when I see these wonderful sights? Where did she get those shoes and do they come in my size , will that outfit look good on me ,or should I get my ears pierced?

I think about feminine things way more than I think about sex.

[BRANDYJ]

I would have to say for me it's about equal. When I see an attractive woman, I will think about her sexually and at the same time I'm checking out what it is about her manor of dress, hair and makeup that made her attractive to me and caught my eye. On a non-sexual point, I think an attractive woman is God's greatest gift to man. I love their shape, their motion, their smile and endless other attributes that all add up to my admiration of her. So even though sexual thoughts abut may or may not enter my mind, I just love looking at women. As my SO has said to me, " I don't care how much you look and charge your batteries, so long as you come home to discharge them."

Like others, I look at the covers of women's magazines instead of sports or Car And Driver. And it's a mix of both sexual and non-sexual thoughts when I view those models gracing the cover.

[Karinsamatha]

I almost always think about clothes, shoes first. When I look at a woman I almost always look at the clothes and shoes, and of course how she has applied her make up the woman is wearing before I look at the woman her self.

[Theresa1955]

Hmmm. Good question and thread. Since I enjoy "Men type activities" and also enjoy being around and with women, but also enjoy the softer side of life. It is hard to pin this down. The answer is a toss up. I think it all depends on the mood I am in. When I see an attractive women, I first look at her sexually,(what a male pig I am ) but then I turn my attention to what she is wearing, her mannerisms, and her behavior. It is then that I am totally focused and in the pink fog.

[Fab Karen]

I stopped thinking and now I can't remember what I was thinking.... dam

I know that recently I was thinking that maybe some people get dressed in the dark, with their eyes closed.

Yeah, some of them are newbie CD's

[Babette]

....They say that men think about sex on average of once every 8 to 12 seconds. I know I certainly don't fall into that category. Even in the height of puberty I don't think I thought about sex that much, but "they" say its so. Therefore, we will pretend it is accurate for the sake of this discussion...

I have to chuckle and shake my head when I hear so many people other than Suzanne use either this quote or something like it. What I want to know is who conducted this landmark study that determined how often men were thinking of sex. How did they know they were even thinking about it? I couldn't begin to ask someone every 8 to 12 seconds if they were thinking about sex in the first place let alone tabulate the results. If this is the average, could it be interpreted that some men think about it at a much faster or slower rate as well? Maybe there are some really quick witted, super men who can knock out a 5 second average. Whew, I must be really below average because in 8-12 seconds, I couldn't decide which color socks to wear.

Alas Suzanne, your final question is fair enough. I think more about feminine things and so many others instead of sex. I can decide which color pumps to wear in 4.5 seconds flat.

Babette

[Angiemead12]

I dont think about sex every 8-12 seconds.

My girlfirend probably thinks of sex more than I do.

When Im at the magazine rack I know I can pick up the vouge for my girlfriend and go through it too. And when I spot a hot woman I do check what her look is and if i can pull it off as well.

But most of the time my mind is wandering on how I can make some more money!

[PretzelGirl]

I'm sorry..... what is sex again?

[Miranda09]

I don't think about sex THAT often, but when I see an attractive woman go by, I do take a look at the woman, not the fashion....that comes afterward!!

[sandra-leigh]

I'm sorry..... what is sex again?

Something that I now categorize with "Science Fiction & Fantasy". Sure I read about it, but the chances of any of it happening to me...

[Kathi Lake]

I agree with Sue. I'm married. What's this "sex" thing you speak of?

With me, it's a combination of both. Today in the booth, the presenter showed me three necklace/earring combos, asking which one she should wear (yes, she knows all about me ). As she tried each set on, I looked at her and many things were running through my mind; which necklace/earring set worked the best with her outfit, the amazing curves she displayed in her décolletage (and everywhere else!), how cute her top was, whether I could pull off that look, how well she did her makeup, jealousy that she got to be a gorgeous woman and I didn't, the fact that that Breakfast Jack wasn't sitting too well with me, whether she could tell that I was wearing light eye makeup, and much more.

Did I think about sex - especially the fabled "every 8-10 seconds?" Nope. I don't think about it quite as much as I used to.



Kathi

[Cari]

I think its about 50% for me; when I look at the magazine rack it could be cosmo or a car mag depends whats on the cover: usually the brightest one wins :-) I stare at shiny things as well.

What I cant explain is that I look at women differently based on if I know and like them.
If I know and like them I dont really notice what they are wearing and while its not every 8 to 12 seconds Id say my thought patterns are more male.
However the best looking woman in the world could walk by; and Ill check out her outfit and makeup first. I notice that she is attractive but dont think of sex right away.

As far as me getting turned on; looks are important ; but it takes more which may be a feminine trait.

Of course they have no idea Im checking out the outfit, and probably believe Im thinking about sex every 8-12 seconds.
I often wonder if Im sending the wrong message when I look.

[Persephone]

Today I was sitting in a waiting room and watching a well-built woman who was talking on her cell phone and pacing back and forth. She was wearing high-heeled boots and skin-tight exercise pants and her rear end moved like a sack full of bobcats. It's funny, but all I could think about was how the Hell to move like that.

I have noticed one thing though regarding critical analysis. It would seem that many CD's most often look at a woman and see the positives that they would like to copy. Many GG's will tend to do this too, but often will also be far better at spotting negatives.

So sometimes the conversation can go like this:

CD, "I love the way she does her eyes!"

GG, "Yeah, but her lips are too big."

It may be a focus that comes from years of analyzing the competition.

[eluuzion]

When I began to CD over 20 years ago, I would say my thoughts were probably 95% sexual and 5% "feminine observation/appearance improvement.

As most here seem to report, the years do tend to mellow the sexual component and enhance the quest for understanding, acceptance and interest in the cognitive and personal interaction aspects of daily living as a CD. I have always been a sponge for research in behavioral aspects of every issue. It is probably more like a 195% sexual interest and 35% 'feminine cognitive interest' now.

Ok, and BTW...I have always had a difficult time with percentages and math...

I have an overzealous curiosity, as well as an overactive sex drive. I have learned to live with it, and accept that as part of me, just like my CD, I am confident that the strong sex inclinations will mellow out in time, as everyone says it will... I am going to give it another 30-40 years before I begin to worry about anything...heehee:

Until then, I will remain hopeful of finding that one understanding SO someday, my perfect match, that will accept me for what I am... a well-adjusted, psychologically functional, caring and compassionate....CDing sex fanatic ! I am sure there is one out there in a mental health facility somewhere...

[lauraabdl]

The femine things first and formost.

Can't remember when I didn't. I always check out the makeup and clothes first.

[Raychel]

I agree with Sue. I'm married. What's this "sex" thing you speak of?
Kathi

But honestly when I see a woman, What do I think first?

Well the first thing I think is how bad I am going to trip over my tongue when I open my mouth. Then I look at the whole package. From her hair to her shoes. Check out her body and clothes on the way. Then if she has nice clothes, I just wish I could dress like her.

[Madilyn A.]

Definitely feminine things. Thirty years ago or so, sex might have entered my mind about 25% and feminine details 75%. Now sex, what's that ? Married 38 years and for me the annual "married sex half-life" thing kicked in. You do remember the half-life thing don't you ?, wherein a radioactive particle will lose half it's strength in a thousand years. Well for me it was an annual thing, so there are only trace amounts left and the US government has determined that trace amounts are acceptable for good health !! Sorry for that ramble. LOL ! Anyway, I spend way too much time at the magazine rack in front of the glamour magazines, but usually pick up the Cosmo and move it over in front of the golf magazines, just in case someone is paying too much attention to my choice of "reading materials ".

[Jenn M]

I always think about femme thing! Also when I see a women who looks good I always check out her outfit and makeup and think about how I would look wearing the same thing!

[Brianne_bc]

Of course I think about femme things. But I also think about sex. The two tend to trigger each other in me.

Me too. A lot........ thanx for your honesty

[Rogina B]

I am glad that I had a great deal of sexual adventures while it was important to me.Now,I am far more interested in a woman's look than anything else she has to offer..Like many of us,I get so jealous and catty at times..lol

[anonymousinmaryland]

I still am thinking, "Wow! Whoever gettin' all of that sure is a lucky guy/girl. Wish I could dress like that!"

[ikthys]

I sometimes surprise myself with how often and how "out of the blue" my mind will wander into a full blown femme fantasy. But, for me, I believe this to be the outcome of so much sexual conditioning and input over the years. So, even though I don't find myself imagining intercourse, or a naked woman (though I do thoroughly enjoy it when it happens at home) I think femme is actually a reflection of how much my mind drifts to sex. When I see a woman, I am definitely staring at her shoes and her outfit- her overal "look"- but I think this is because I've told myself these are "safe" in the sense that I'm not "lusting" after her body in a way I always found repulsive when I saw other men do it. If I'm brutally honest, though, I believe that same urge for sex is very prevalent in me, only it "hides" behind my desire for her "beauty", her "power", her "attractiveness". Perhaps I really just want her to come and affirm me and touch me...I want something deeper even than sex- a sense of being desired, respected, wanted... all of which seems totally displaced and warped into a cding-covered-sex drive.

[Mackenzie]

Suzanne,
I am much like you. When I am looking at a woman, it's not with lust or something (I think I'm the happiest married man in the world!!!). When I look at a woman, I like to check out how she is coordinating her clothing, how she wears makeup, her jewelry, her shoes, does she have on nylons, textured tights, etc. I watch how she carries herself and gestures.

My wife is so feminine, such a wonder to watch, such "eye candy" for me!!! I love to study my wife, look at her deeply, watch her put on her makeup, watch her walk and gesture, see her facial expressions as she talks. She is one incredible woman! She is really the woman that I love to study.

Oh, regarding magazines, I have found myself looking at the covers of the girls magazines. I really don't care about the car or hunting or news magazines.

Mackenzie

[SuzanneBender]

post-transition I think about the business of getting on with my life...meaningful work, helping others, being happy, (paying bills!)...things like that...

Dear you are the epitome of a woman. You think about life as a woman and what a wonderful one you have become!

I know that recently I was thinking that maybe some people get dressed in the dark, with their eyes closed.

Wow that must have been a bad outfit to make you think that! If I must dress in the dark I keep my eyes open. At least I think, but maybe they are closed because when I check in the mirror its still dark.

I don't buy that feminine means thinking about shoes and magazines..

Alana that is the reason why I place the sterotype disclaimer in the OP. I also don't by that it is a sole definition of feminine. I know lots of guys that read Cosmo. Gender is what we make of it and it means different things to different people.

How did they know they were even thinking about it? I couldn't begin to ask someone every 8 to 12 seconds if they were thinking about sex in the first place let alone tabulate the results.

Ohh dear Babette this was a highly scientific study conducted at the Klingenhoffermyerson Institute in Lower Nantuket in the early 70's. The methodology was simple they hired young college students to follow the subjects around and ask them every 8 seconds and ask them if they were thinking about sex. They study concluded early because those doing the questioning were inexplicably beat up by the subjects.

As she tried each set on, I looked at her and many things were running through my mind; which necklace/earring set worked the best with her outfit... jealousy that she got to be a gorgeous woman and I didn't, the fact that that Breakfast Jack wasn't sitting too well with me

Ah Ha. We now arrive at the basic quandary of life. We can be jealous of that beautiful woman in the booth, but did she get to have a Breakfast Jack this morning on the way to the show. In all likelihood, no. She likely had a rice cake and a slim fast.

I am just the opposite on the married and sex thing. I have a fantastic wife that just happens to also be gorgeous. I must admit she still gets the old oil pressure up in my motor if you know what I mean. Wink Wink Nudge Nudge. When I am around her I think about sex a lot. In fact, I must have thought about it three times in the short time it took me to type this paragraph. Oppssss there it goes again. Does anyone have the number to the Klingenhoffermyerson Institute?

I have noticed one thing though regarding critical analysis. It would seem that many CD's most often look at a woman and see the positives that they would like to copy. Many GG's will tend to do this too, but often will also be far better at spotting negatives.

Great observation dear. I wonder if the understudy role goes away for those of us that transition and we move more toward the competitive mode? I may make this my next thread!

[juno]

I love to grab a women's magazine when other men are around. When I see a woman, I used to subconsciously hone in on the sexually pleasing parts before my conscious mind had a chance to kick in. I think I would look at both aspects of a women, if I were still single. As a married man, I think it is disrespectful to be erotically stimulated by women other than your wife, so I focus on thinking about the clothing and makeup.