The mysterious case of the exploding boobs...
Yes you read it right ...
Ok, so I was looking for a cheap DIY alternative to breastfroms - I mean yes I will buy some eventually but I just haven't got round to it ( cos I want to do it properly, you know go to a specialist and get the right ones etc )
Actually lets go back to the start... tired of messing around with self timers and stuff I went out and treated myself to a Sony Bloggie which is a simple HD Video thing and not very expensive ( $150, but admittely another reason why I haven't bought BF's yet ) Sooo... I do some self shooting, just to see what I look like and everything is well not as bad as I was expecting, but not as good as I would like.
Prior to this I had never really "seen" myself as it were, so the whole thing was a bit of a revelation. So the story goes something like this.
At the first video session, I realized I looked well... rather like a man... which I guess is OK because according to the plumbing down below, thats wot I am innit? So I immediately rushed out and bought some makeup to cover the beard and blemishes. The result? Well apart from all the mess, slightly better... but still not great
Next I decided to hide "the bulge" which, despite re-reading "The Art of Tucking v2" several times I still haven't quite mastered ( mistressed?) Never mind, I can hide the equiplment fairly ok anyway - and it does mean I now have two rolls of sports tape ( one inch and two inch ) I can't quite figure out what the two inch is for because in the AoTv2 he ( she ) seems to stick it on, take it off, stick it back on etc etc then replace it all with one inch tape, so it seems I have a superfluous roll of 2inch tape... Never mind.. I FOUND ANOTHER AMAZING USE for the two inch tape... you simple wrap the stuff around your chest and you can instantly create CLEAVAGE!!!! Amazing
So now we get on to what this is really about... boobs...
As I now had the cleavage I was feeling pretty pleased with myself, but the whole boob thing just wasn't right - Looking at myself in profile in the video I realized that I was way off - When I started the whole CD journey about a thousand years ago when I was kid, well socks would do just fine, later I graduated to stockings stuffed with rice or beans or whatever was in the cupboard, and that worked fine for me for years... until I bought the damn video thingy... apart from being way too small for my body type ( average height, vaguely chubby and definitely bald and ancient ) My boobs were way too high up.
This is probably a common mistake for amatuers and newbies like me I think it's something to do with the fact we base the thing on the actual position of our nipples rather than the correct position of them which is obviously much lower down in a GG due to the natural protrusion and droopiness, anyway I digress.... I also felt that the beans/rice in stocking thing wasn't really working anymore due to my newly found cleavage... a new solution was needed... and after laying out 150 on the video camera, dropping another 150 or so on decent BFs was out of the question, especially as I have my eye on this fantastic LBD (/me grins sheepishly)
Thus I was looking for a cheap and simple solution to better boobs... and after searching and reading this forum, there was obviously lots of advice and suggestions and I concluded that I wanted something with some boyuancy - you know - feel a bit of bounce and a bit of weight so they seem, well, real I guess - I mean obviously I have no idea what they are *really* like, but based on empirical, scientific experimentations with the real thing as well as observation and examination of many I would say they are sort of heavier than we probably think, softer than a sack of rice or beans and of course warm and lets face it, highly pleasing and desirable in so many ways(*), but excuse me if I digress again - I am so obsessed with the prior named female appendages that I want some for myself, literally - but I guess I am probably not alone in that regard, particularily here on this forum
So there I am, searching for a cheap solution to this need, and I came across somebody who suggested filling condoms with water. ( ok it's obvious how this story ends, thats why i *padded* it out with so much background ) But it seemed like such a good idea! In fact, it *is* a good idea - for a few hours it really worked amazingly well - I filled them with twice as much water as i thought I would need ( about three cups for me anyway ) tied them up and stuffed them in under my newly taped up chest into my bra... and like WOW! Jiggle was like jiggletastic!!! The weight, the feel, everything about it was amazing... like REAL!!! Ok admittedly it needed a little adjustment - I ended up stuffing some socks in above to "fill" it out - but I can't describe how good it felt and REAL it felt ...
( hint: use lukewarm water, not COLD water
...now I'm what could be called a bit of a geek in RL, I work on computers, I'm surrounded by computers literally. I look around my home office and I see 7.5 screens - ( the .5 is because I have one newer laptop sitting on top of an older one so i can only see a partial amount of the screen, but in all honesty it;s just the tip of the iceberg) Believe me I have many more computers than most ordinary people need, and probably more than the EXTRAordinary people we find in forums like this one. I won't bang on about it because most people fall asleep as soon as I mention computers.. consider yourself saved
So there I am... working on my numerous computers... with my amazing lukewarm water-filled boobs...
..and I guess you can figure the rest out for yourself
The epitaph of course is that as I was heading to the kitchen to discard my deflated boob, I was thinking "oh gee I hope the other one doesn't burst as well" ....
So I had to mop up two major water spillages in one session...
Anyway, the moral? of this story is - if you want to try the condom filled with water technique - make sure you double wrap them, which means you need to use four condoms in total - a word from the not-so-wise
I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it
Love
Panda xx
* there was a long pause between those two scentences