Facebook....yay!

[NathalieX66]

A number of us cd/tg folk have our femme fb pages.....ok, whatever.

I finally outed myself to nearly all my friends on my male fb page by showing a couple of pics to me, except those in my work profession, which I filtered off. So far so good. I had over 8 people respond.....all positive, No darts thrown & no friends dropped. I'm giving fashion advice to some of my female friends. Even the most outspoken conservative person (think Glenn Beck & 2nd Amendment here) on my fb page ended up complimenting. He ended up rambling about something totally unrelated afterwards.

My best friend and his wife are very understanding. He and I talked about my cd/tg side on the phone for over 20 minutes. Pretty rare to have two guys talk about a subject this intmate, no?

This is not something I shove in peoples' faces, and i'm certainly nothing sexually suggestive or lewd, and I'm not asking my friends that I want to show up en femme at the next dinner they invite me to, but it feels quite liberating to know that I'm accepted. I feel like I have no secrets.

For me, this is something that is not going away, and it seems to work for me. i go out once in a while in public by myself, and also with other TG girls I hope this is encouraging for other folks like you , BUT...do be careful! If it's not right for you, then don't do it.

[AnnaCalliope]

I have a femme FB page where I can be myself...Femme, Gay, Experimental, etc. Its basically a page where I can post whatever I feel and I've chosen the exact group of friends that aren't going to judge me.

[PretzelGirl]

That is quite an interesting way of doing it Nathalie. I am glad it worked for you. I would think something like that would take a lot of forethought. Because of all the possibilities, I would be in full blown paranoia mode myself. Congrats!

[Jeannie]

Good for you. I admire your courage.


Jeannie

[Cheryl James]

I admire your bravery!

[Aprilrain]

I have two face book pages right now but I will be deactivating the male one probably this summer by then i should know who my friends are anyway.

[2SpeedTranny]

Even the most outspoken conservative person (think Glenn Beck & 2nd Amendment here) on my fb page ended up complimenting.

Umm... I'm very pro-gun, pretty conservative, and pretty convinced Beck is kind of a commie... and I wear makeup.

What are you trying to say here?

Do I have to give up my stilletos if I don't vote Democrat?

Please tell me you aren't judging books by their covers.

[crusadergirl]

Facebook is a good way to out your self thats why i use it no i'm lying. Glenn beck plays with puppets that should tell u everything u need to know

[Rianna Humble]

I have two face book pages right now but I will be deactivating the male one probably this summer by then i should know who my friends are anyway.

I did the same thing but kept the old page for 3 months after starting my transition. I felt it was only fair to warn some of those friends (the ones I consider friends IRL) why I would be disappearing from their friend list. One or two asked if they could send me a request to my new name, just proving they really are friends.

[lilmissjenny]

i just got a facebook page for my girl side BUT i guess when i sent out some friend requests, some people marked it as spam and so now i have a 4 day suspension on there where i cant send out friend requests. well i can but i run the risk of having my ban extended and possibly banned on there permantely and ive only had it a week

[Jay Cee]

Good for you, Nathalie! That took no small amount of courage. Glad to hear you have such accepting friends.

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

Good for you! I also used facebook as my method of mass-coming out a couple of years ago, I still remember how nervous I felt after posting pictures of me in skirts, but the response was also super positive for me so I was really glad I did it. Happy it worked out for you too.

[docrobbysherry]

I think you're VERY BRAVE, Nathalie!

Robert HATES Facebook! He's had a page for a year and has about 30 "friends"!
Sherry LOVES Facebook! It let's her post her KINKIEST PICS! Lol!

And, she has a 100 more "friends" than Robert! Which she's collected in only a few months!

[t-girlxsophie]

My femme FB page was going so well,till someone I knew (but not well)thought would be a laff to play silly beggars,so am afraid it had to go maybe in time ill reactivate it.and hey! I got a good mate who's a Communist (no bais in CDland lol)

[vetobob9]

i just got a facebook page for my girl side BUT i guess when i sent out some friend requests, some people marked it as spam and so now i have a 4 day suspension on there where i cant send out friend requests. well i can but i run the risk of having my ban extended and possibly banned on there permantely and ive only had it a week

The way facebook does it now, is that if people don't reply to your friend request in within a very small time limit, your requests are considered spam.
They don't like people using Facebook to meet or befriend people.
So if you send a friend request to your friends and they don't respond within two days, you are automatically assumed, by the system, to be a spammer and that's when the suspensions and bans start kicking in.

[Nicole Erin]

The way facebook does it now, is that if people don't reply to your friend request in within a very small time limit, your requests are considered spam.
They don't like people using Facebook to meet or befriend people.
So if you send a friend request to your friends and they don't respond within two days, you are automatically assumed, by the system, to be a spammer and that's when the suspensions and bans start kicking in.

So then, just what the hell is FB suppose to be for? Vetobob I am not saying you are wrong but that is kind of weird how they do things. I guess maybe cause of the problem with the friend collectors who send out requests to every person imaginable.
Myself I don't use FB much anyways. It's days are numbered anyways, soon people will find some new thing for everyone to jump on the bandwagon.

[JL Walker]

I have fb pages for both sides my male and female side. I know blocking people you don't want to find out your femme side can be the long way round around being found out, but that is what I have done everyone on my male fb page is blocked on my femme fb page. Only 2 people on in my male fb friends list know of my cding and only 1 person (my partner) is on both pages. And all her friends are blocked aswell. It took a few days to block all those people but hey I now know those people now even though they don't know about my cding, can't even search my femme side out on fb. I now can be who I want to be on fb both male and femme when I want to, with out the worry of being outed.

[Kaz]

Well done Nathalie!

I have thought about this, but it does scare the c**p out of me. All you need is one smart-arse to make the link and you are outed to the world... your professional life, your family, friends, etc...

I know in theory you can screen people out, and choose "friends" etc.. but there are so many people on here, for example, who find it difficult to tolerate those of us in the closet (we should all be open and tell everyone! If we don't we are lying, etc...) that I would fear that someone is going to have a lot of fun ruining somenone's life for them in the greater interest of the CD community.

I may get there... I hope I do... I just worry too much about the potential implications.

[Madilyn A.]

Natalie, You have inspired many of us with this thread. Best of luck to you my friend.

[AliceJaneInNewcastle]

Once upon a time, I was frightened of people finding out about me. Now, I have customers, my insurance advisor, GG friends from school and uni, a neighbour, a few people from nearby but not immediate neighbours, one of the staff from a local op shop and several relatives (both mine and my wife's) as friends of my girl profile. I also have over 40 GG members of a beauty web site including about a dozen I've met in person as friends.

I have had a few male customers surprise me. One sent me a PM saying that I was an ugly bloke but a good looking sheila. A few others have sent me PMs closely followed by friend requests.

I also have a boy profile, and I've deliberately made it fairly easy to connect the two but very few of the friends of my boy profile appear to care either way.

Facebook is a useful tool for coming out, if that is what you want to do. However, as in real life, once you're out, there's no going back!

[Nicole Erin]

Yeah, putting up a FB profile for your femme self is a brilliant idea!
I mean since FB is constantly changing it's privacy settings and upgrading, what can possibly go wrong?
Just make sure that each time FB decides to upgrade, you go and reset your privacy so it is not exposed for too long.

But once it is out there and the world finds out about your "private" life that you thought was secure on facebook (the sound of the world laughing) then make sure and come back and tell us about it.

Yes people can find out stuff about you even with very little info to go on but don't make it easier by posting it on the biggest and least secure place on the web.

"My privacy settings are set so that only friends can see it". Really think about that. FB is about as secure as locking up your bicycle with a paper chain.

[CamillaCD]

I have done the same thing Nathalie. My only profile shows the male side, but the pictures (most actually) is of Camilla. So far not a single bad comment.

[Rianna Humble]

Yeah, putting up a FB profile for your femme self is a brilliant idea!

So cynical and so young.

When I first put up a facebook page for my true self, there was absolutely nothing to link it to my old self. A couple of friends who knew me from my old life asked if they could friend me on facebook, so I agreed but then removed them from my old profile. Now of course, I don't have a male profile - why should I?

[KandisTX]

Even the most outspoken conservative person (think Glenn Beck & 2nd Amendment here) on my fb page ended up complimenting.

Sorry, but I have to take "offense" to this statement, as a very conservative minded individual myself, and a gun owner who has a concealed carry license, are you trying to say that I have to vote liberal because I wear bras and panties? Sorry, I don't think so. In fact, I know from personal experience that there are more conservatives that really don't care what we do than liberals. My own adoptive parents were extremely liberal and when they found out about my dressing activities, they immediately thought there was something wrong with me and sent me to a psychiatrist. In fact I found out later on after I moved away from them that if I had stayed there they were going to have me put away in a state institution becuase they couldn't handle the idea of having a crossdresser in the family.

[Olivia2]

I don't want to rain on anyone's parade but the article below is a helpful cautionary tale about being aware of how much info. you post on facebook. Just make sure you control what info. you put there.

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/...s/7382474.html