if you might the right person they'll accept you for who you are.
it's not easy to find, but that's part of what makes it special..
most things in life worth having aren't easy to come by
if you might the right person they'll accept you for who you are.
it's not easy to find, but that's part of what makes it special..
most things in life worth having aren't easy to come by
I can only speak from experience. With all of my relationships I have been up front with my special desires. Wife 1 played along kinda' until it was used as a weapon in our divorce. The tweener (the one between marriages) was great as she enjoyed my CDing and other proclivity and had fun with it. We simply weren't compatible on other levels. But, my Wife wants nothing to do with it. She has deep set religious morals and that is fine. I keep it under the radar and I don't make much of an issue of it. She is certainly my soul-mate and that is the most important thing to me. Good relationships contain compromises. My Wife and I just naturally get along and love each other and thats what truly matters.
This! ^^Originally Posted by Maxi
Ooch. Double whammy. Women are usually suspicious of single men with cats. And I can't imagine anyone goes to AA to look for dating material.
@ the OP: I've experimented with dating websites in the past. It taught me a few things. One, everyone lies. Two, there are a lot of damaged goods out there. I met some real crazy chicks. Some people have had good luck with it, but it's probably just better to get out more and be social somewhere... make new friends. It doesn't happen sitting at home on your computer.
Don't ever give up hope or stop trying. But you definitely need to change your approach to meeting women. You should emphasize and expose your attractive qualities rather than dwelling on finding an accepting SO. The dating process begins with attracting someone followed by getting to know each other. At some point you will meet someone who really digs you, then perhaps you can find a way of introducing her to this unusual but lovely side to your personality and maybe she will accept.
But don't be needy, be giving.
when i talk (im or emails) with these girls we talk about every thing from kids to dinner to shoe sales , grand babys and local events , we talk about work and every thing , what get me is they will give me advice on girl stuff and products but meeting me for a drink (tea -pop-lattee) they cant we are good girl friends but the guy cant like dresses , (like im going to stand out some how, gg' friends is my main goal ,dateing would be a great extra im frustrated with them and my self , with all the time i have had the last month i think i will be by myself the rest of my life
i thought if i was truthful right from the start some girl would like that , its ok in privet , but not in public lol i guss its a start lol not going to change the world
I like my femself; it makes me feel more civilized, i think girltime should be a requirment for all kids.
just 3 words.... never give up
as a cd you must understand not everything is easy in time it will come
Its the whole chicken and egg thing. The GGs say they wish they knew...but are they saying they would have stuck around?, probably not, but after they know the guy many decide CDing is just an add-on. I say, it may be better to tell nothing and just be who you are and let the other people discover you little by little.
Chickie
Initially, when I first started dressing, I would do as many here prescribe. I would let them get to know me as a guy first, and then before we started dating exclusively, tell them about the other half. This worked very well. They would get to know me, my qualities, and values, and that I wasnt strange or weird. At that point it was just another facet of my personality, and mostly accepted. There was only one that could not accept this, and we parted friends.
Now that I am too far along with my transition to pass as an average guy, I decided to do as you, and present as Eve from the onset. This has proven to be a much more difficult path to follow. But not impossible. I am currently dating one lady who accepts me as who I present. And everything is going fairly well. If I could give one piece of advice here, is to not use Facebook as a dating medium, at least exclusively. FB is more of a social networking website, not a dating one. So people that congregate there are more likely to seek friends than lovers. Not to say that it cant or wont happen. Just less likely. I would try a more alternative dating site if there is one available in your local area if you decide to continue with this path.
There was one I did date, but she wanted to push me to be Erica all the time made the man in me feel left out
Personally, I would think that the presenting as a man first, and letting them in on the feminine side at the proper time would be a better path to follow for dating, as you dont state that you are actively transitioning.
Now for the pen pals and shopping buddies side, its better to present as a female first, IMO. So why not do both? Have the FB page for seeking gal pals, and a dating site for the pursuit of a life partner. Sometimes life isnt a one size fits all kind of world. And if youve ever tried a pair of one size pantyhose, you know what I mean!
I wish you the best of luck!
Eve
Again, I was thinking just a few months, just at the point where serious feelings are developing, yet either one can still walk away without too much emotional damage. Im not saying all women would be put off by a man crossdressing, what I meant was a woman would be put off by someone who is trying to "woo" them who also crossdresses. As has been said, women like the confident, manly kind of man, as opposed to a sensitive one and at such an early stage into a relationship crossdressing would very easily be a dealbreaker, as it is very easy to deem it too much hassle for someone you have nothing invested in (emotionally).
Last edited by Melissa Jill; 01-19-2011 at 06:36 AM.
Two speed, I must clarify, that I don't go to 12 step meetings, to find dates. Friends, yes, and because i moved 2000 miles to help my 90 yr old difficult dad, and needed a support system. I know i cannot date the women at the meetings. They are all married. There is one young guy who attends, now, too. I know the meetings are NOT for finding dates or mates.
If you want to be a woman full-time (I take you don't given, your problem with your ex who wanted that), then go for it.
But, if you want to be a "man" who happens to like crossdressing, then be a "man"... let your SO see you as the "man", get to know that you are really, truly and deeply a "man". But NEVER EVER EVER hide your femme side (personality wise). Talk about fashion or whatever you like. Then, slowly acclimate her. I think that will give the best image of what you truly are, if you let it progress naturally.
I've gotten some good advice on this forum and others; but I can't bring myself to do it. There are some women out there that will accept us; but you're going to have to out yourself publicly in every way you can to have any chance of meeting them. And I can't get up enough courage to do that. On top of which, is that the odds of meeting someone you're compatible with isn't any better than with any other women. Consider online dating; some dating pro's estimate we're each only basically barely compatible with one out of every 16 women. Now, only about 1% of women will even consider dating a crossdresser. You're down to one in 1600 women. Of even having a remote chance. And if you're not 'out', you basically have no chance at all.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
There is nothing wrong with you being a CD, but it's probably not the best foot to lead with.
Per what I have learned from watching the Millionaire Matchmaker (take it for what it's worth), when there is something tricky to navigate in determining fundamental coupling capatability, you wait until the 2nd or (better yet) 3rd date - don't use it as the introduction. For example, when a single woman has a biological clock in dying mode, she will not have much luck with a MySpace page begging guys to be her immediate husband/future father of her child. Same rule applies to anyone with an alternative lifestye, an unpopular job, obnoxious mothers, etc. Most people have an unusual dating feature to contend with, but they keep it in the background in the beginning. You need to let the person like you romantically at least a little bit so that they may make a more informed decision.
Do not take a passive approach. Be aggressive. Hunt and fish for the women. I completely agree with Cordgrass. You need to show her how aggressive and manly you can be before you show a fem side. Because unless you plan on permanently transitioning into a woman, your best match will be a gal who will love both your male and your female side. Make your moves with bold confidence. (I always had a crush on Franken-N-Furter).
Remember, by waiting a bit to tell a girl, you are not lying. You are letting a relationship unfold. There is a difference. Now if you wait too long, then you are lying.
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