Not sure how to handle this

[NaomiLynn]

Hi again! I was wondering about this: Some of you have Facebook and/or Flickr accounts, as do I. I do not have a single photo of myself in femm clothes ( not by my choice),my wife saw to that. Anyways, on here, no photos, and Flickr, likewise. I DO have a Facebook with drab photos and my real name. The dilemma is, I would like to make more friends here, and friend some of those here, on Facebook. Of course, my name here is not the same as it is on Facebook. Since I am a straight, married CD, I don't want to give the impression that I am coming on to them. Even if I wanted to complement someone on Flickr, without having photos myself, how do I come across without someone getting the wrong idea? I do want to open up more.
Sorry if it's a rambling message, I wasn't quite sure how to say it. I hope you get what I mean !

[jamey]

I use facebook as well! Have you considered making a profile Naomi Lynn? I would love for all of us on the forum to create Facebook profiles of yourselves en femme. It would be great fun!!!

Shoot me a friend request if you decide to create your account.

[crusadergirl]

send a message to the person your trying to add on facebook and tell them your a cd simple right are maybe not, be cool live long

[Michelle 51]

I have an account on facebook.Michelle Godine Anybody wants to be friends send in a request and I'll add you little sweethearts.hugs Michelle

[jamey]

yeah, friend request me.

[Gerrijerry]

facebook is open to all and can be read by others. So if you don't mind everyone knowing that you are CD fine no problem. Other wise make a different name as suggested. The only problem I see is that others reading the posts may realize that you are you. Small chance that might happen but you have a wife who does not want your photo shown for her reasons. Why go there and cause a problem. Use this forum talk to the girls and make friends here. You can always email privately to friends. Just my thoughts.

[KellyCD]

I wish I could add people I know here on FB.....but TBH too many people would start asking questions and then I could lose my job.

[Stephanie Miller]

It is unfortunate, but I too "shield" my facebook acccount from CD friends. NOT because the person I am wanting to be friends with is a CD (I'm talking about those friends that have a drab picture, etc.), but because that friend may not shield her account. When people start going down others friends list... it just brings too many problems that aren't needed. So... you girls are stuck with me

[Karren H]

I'm 180 degrees the other way.... I have virtually no male presence online.... None... So everything I do under my fem name... I try to stay away from co-workers and local friends on line but I have crossed that line a few times without incidences... Anyone wants they can add me as a friend on facebook after you have read my pre-friendship rules and signed the form and sent in the application processing fee.... Lol. but please send me a message too... Else you may end up on the cutting room floor!

I'd say create a second fem account on FB and let it be your fem self online. I'm not saying don't tell your wife about it (else venom would rain down on my head....). But I wouldn't.

[Julogden]

A simple compliment is safe, but if it's coming from a male account, then I always assume that the person is a tranny chaser unless they specify that they're also a CD. When you send a friends invite, you can include a message, so you could explain that you're a CD. But keep in mind that since your profile is available to your non-CD friends, your list of friends can give you away, so to speak, so remember to set your profile so that others can't see your friends list.

I'm on Facebook too, search for Carol Wilson, and I'd be glad to add friends from these forums.

I have an account on facebook.Michelle Godine Anybody wants to be friends send in a request and I'll add you little sweethearts.hugs Michelle

Hi Michelle,

I did a search for you so that I could send a friends invitation, but you don't show up.


Carol

[GingerLeigh]

I don't know, I have no facebook account even though I'm reasonably computer savvy. Call me a dinosaur if you want, but I think the world is getting too small. Everyone knows everyone's business. I think Facebook is a huge privacy invader so if you want to stay in the closet, keep your femme side and CD friends away from your drab profile. Have your femme profile up if you want CD friends to visit, but it can get difficult to cover your tracks. Be careful!

Just my 2 cents.

Ginger

[Sarah Doepner]

I use a different browser, i.e., Safari or Chrome, to do all my femme things. Everything else is on Internet Explorer to prevent any crossover. There are a lot of people who will not accept you as a Facebook "Friend" if you don't have a photo, but that's their choice. It seems if you have enough of a presence someplace else that they can review, they may change their mind.

[BiancaEstrella]

If you don't want to create a second account, and you don't have a Facebook friend you trust to see you en femme, do what I did:

I created a photo album, and set it so that only I could see it. Friends Who Knew were eventually placed on a friends list, which I gave a name. I then went back and allowed only that friends list to see my femme photos. You can separate your friends list and have them either never show, or only show amongst your other FB friends (or they could be displayed separately, but on your drab account you probably don't want that). Since 27 of the people who have access to my femme photos are normal, functioning women in the world (the 28th is the only confirmed fashion freestyling male on my list), I went ahead and integrated them into my "all friends" list.

I didn't want to create a second FB profile so I stashed a part of mine away so that only certain people could see it. You can always check this in your privacy settings; there's a way to see how your profile looks through the eyes of any of your friends. You could type in a non-knowing friend's name, then browse to your photos; your femme folder isn't there. Then you could type in a Friend Who Knows' name, then browse to your photos; there they are.

[Melinda G]

facebook is open to all and can be read by others. So if you don't mind everyone knowing that you are CD fine no problem. Other wise make a different name as suggested. The only problem I see is that others reading the posts may realize that you are you. Small chance that might happen but you have a wife who does not want your photo shown for her reasons. Why go there and cause a problem. Use this forum talk to the girls and make friends here. You can always email privately to friends. Just my thoughts.

Also be aware that prospective employers, insurance companies, banks, and many other businesses are now checking facebook for info. It may cost you money, or come back to haunt you.

[eluuzion]

FaceBook and Privacy are opposite sides of the same coin. If you like to gamble you flip the coin. If you don’t, you keep it in your pocket.

[busker]

Also be aware that prospective employers, insurance companies, banks, and many other businesses are now checking facebook for info. It may cost you money, or come back to haunt you.

Be aware that all these sites have facial recognition software and that hackers can also get at FB as they have in the past. There is Chat on this site, some 16K memebrs and plenty of opportunities to PM people so why there is a need to "Broadcast" one's identity to the whole world is beyond me. Maybe spending a few hours socializing with real people might be more productive from many points of view. The electronic world has already gone far beyond 1984 and big brother.. Why create a problem for yourself when there is no need. NaomiLynn, if youy are an at-home CD and your wife doesn't want to have it known what you do, give her the curtesy and comply--it is a pretty simple request for a "supportive" spouse.
N'est pas?
You can also try local CD support groups in your home town and neighboring cities.

[Stephanie Anne]

I say make a new profile. I'm not in the same boat and never really had a social presence before transition so I can't say what to do.

[Lainie]

I have a flickr account for elainepinniped and also one under my drab handle. No problem--just have to log out of flickr & yahoo and log back in again. I'm not that into facebook.

Since I post mostly in thrifting/fashion sites on flickr, my public photos have face obscured and/or distorted. I'm sure that many people can recognize me as a CD anyway, and my flickr profile says so explicitly, but I want the posts to be about the clothes, and not about the mustache. This is consistent with my general policy of being out to the general public, but not to people who know me in drab.

I've gotten lots of nice comments in flickr, and no-one ever said anything about CDing (except for a few invitations to post on CD sites). It's a great place to have fun with thrifting and fashion.

[sissystephanie]

I do have a facebook account, and it does have a picture of me! But don't bother looking for it, because you will never find it! It is my male persona, and always will be. In addition, I rarely use it! My CD life is strictly separated from my male life. which is the way I want it. Facebool just allows me to keep in touch with distant friends ans some relatives.

[Melissa Rose]

I have a separate Facebook account for my male and female sides. There is absolutely no overlap between the two accounts since I keep my girl and boy lives totally separated for a variety of reasons. This greatly reduces the chance of me being accidentally outed in my male life.

If anyone friends me on Facebook or connects on Flickr, and they do not have a face picture, I will not accept. I need to know or have a connection with that person; however, if they include a message explaining who they are and I recognize them then I will make an exception to the face picture rule. I have no desire to build a huge friends list so for the sake of doing it. I get too much clutter in my email in-boxes as it is. I am more interested in the quality of the connections than the quantity.

[Areyan]

this is just one man's opinion but i am with a few of the others here and i don't see the point, really. there are a couple of reasons why i think this based on what you have said. the first one being your wife. going behind her back or upsetting her with pushing your femme self too far online is going to backfire, seriously. if that's a boundary for the two of you then why are you pushing it? again, you have friends here and obviously this is an agreeable place to be yourself online for your wife.

although i understand where you're coming from, i also understand what it's like to be dealing with the embarrassment of strange questions and horribly silly situations happening because of facebook networking. i was once humiliated by a partner on facebook so i can understand why your wife won't like it. if i were you i'd be asking why you want to push the boundaries so much when you already have friendships and a social network here at cd.com.... just a thought.

secondly, if you're not really "out" with being a crossdresser it just seems like you're pushing the envelope into dangerous territory for yourself by being too out online. i am sitting here absolutely shocked and appalled that some of these girls are telling you to make a secret or girl account...

want to jeapordize your marriage? go ahead. decide who is more important here, your wife or these online people who won't have to deal with the consequences when it turns to custard for you.

[shesadvl]

I am a GG ,
areyan applaude you for your comments, & Like Areyans think you need to think this out before you act.......this is what a lot of SO's talk about, browsing history doesnt lie believe me, ... lol ,..so if you want to push the envelope as it has been said ,... watch it come smack you in the butt NaomiLynn,... if you have an accepting wife,... and you are now about to push a boundry,
No wonder a lot of the CD'ers are getting a bad name,... this is blatant so to speak, perhaps a suggestion in my book would be to try some communication with her to find which is acceptable first before you go behind her back. Maybe she will thankyou for being up front then she could bend your ear, but secrecy and not being honest is not the way.

The other thing Parts of
this is an open forum and if anyone knows your name (nic) they can type it into search and will bring up where you are on the internet , Providing theres only one nic like yours lol... because I have done it with my own.

but well put areyan.