First I want to mention that I realize I ask a lot of direct questions. And very often they are not comfortable for many to answer. I also understand that sometimes I come across as a bit of bitch. For this I am sorry, I really do not want to offend anyone with the questions I ask. I am genuinely curious and interested in understanding the things I see and read on the forum. Oh and I am really sweet in a Jersey kind of way
So here is my question in two parts:
For those of you that are interested in BDSM. I have many questions but since this thread has the potential to be quite long and in a million different directions. I will start with one or two. The first is if you are Submissive do you feel that being submissive (in this context) is related to your gender presentation? And if so why?
Please understand that I ask this question with respect I am not judging at all. And also that I am interested in this subject academically. I do not want this thread to become lists of fantasies and other such stuff We should be able to have a good discussion with out anybody posting things they pulled of fiction mania.
Lastly, the reason I ask. For me personally I feel empowered when I am Dressed. It is the only time I feel right actually but that is another thread. But even when I first started and only could dress up once in a while. I never felt passive or submissive. I always felt even then that I could take on or TOP to use the expression anyone or anything.
Do you see genetic women as submissive? Is it a shame thing? Motivated by guilt? I am grabbing at straws here and would really like to hear from you.
A foot note:
I edited this post and the title because Stephanie pointed out with good reason that CD community gets a lot of bad press and why add fuel to the fire. And I agree with her, so I removed the TG reference from the title and left it at for those interested. I hope that is OK. I also wanted to ad something about why I am interested and why I ask questions that tend to put people on the defensive. I really do not want to stir the pot nor am I judging anyone.
As to my reasons other than the on I already stated. As it says above my avatar "I live in the real world" I am out to family and friends at work and everywhere else. I bring this up not to brag or flaunt but to make my point. As stephanie has Said "CDs get a lot of bad press" and that is certainly very true. In the course of living my life and interacting with friends and meeting people I am often asked not only about myself. But about the community at large. And like Stephanie I care about the transgender community ALL OF IT!!! That includes Transexuals, Crossdressers, TransMen, And anybody else under any other label that YOU, WE, THEY, might care to use.
I celebrate people doing things that make them happy and if that includes BDSM, The Maid thing, or whatever I am happy for you, and would like to one understand you, and two be able to support you. I cant do that without information. And I wouldn't mind learning something about myself in the process.
The reason I ask is because I have been asked by others, as is always the case when I open a thread such as this. I am a very gregarious person, I meet a lot of people, and people ask questions. Questions that are usually motivated by what they see on the Springer Show or some other misguided portrayal of our community. I want to give them good intelligent answers that show us in the light we deserve. So the next time someone asks me, and believe me they will and have.
"why when I looked up Crossdressing or whatever label on the internet, I found a bondage site etc.. are you like that?"
I want to be able to say "well no that is not my thing"
but I would like to add "but for some it is and the people I spoke to explained it this way"
and I would also throw on the end of that "and by the way I think it is really cool and I support them doing what makes them happy!"
All I am asking for is a little help. Wow! my foot note is longer than my OP Sorry about that.
The final thing I want to clarify, I get that it is not everybody. For the love of all things pretty It isn't even me! Thats why I am asking!