How many of you honestly feel like "women trapped in mens' bodies?"

[MiamiMarie]

Do you dress because you really feel like a woman trapped in a man's body sometimes? Or is this the dividing line between CD and TS?

In other words, do CDs dress because it just somehow feels right? They like the fabric? They sometimes enjoy acting like women? Or do CDs with no thought of transitioning in any way, feel "trapped" in their own bodies?

[Dawna Ellen Bays]

I don't feel "trapped" in any way whatsoever. CDing is something I enjoy, but it's not something I want to do all the time. I'm quite comfortable in my own skin...I just need to lose weight...

I was born male, and I wholly believe it's what I am supposed to be, and I don't feel otherwise, ever...

[Katesback]

I have said it before and will say it again. I have a feeling that a LOT more CDs out there are actuallly TS but for 1000 different reasons (or excusese depending on who you are talking to) choose not to transition.

[Sarah Jane]

I don't really feel trapped, but I do wish I was born female. Dressing makes me feel better, makes it easier to feel like a woman for a moment.
It is not an absolute requirement though. When there's nobody (and no mirror ) around, I sometimes manage to become comfortable with myself without the clothes. Mostly while reading a book or playing the piano (I'm terrible, don't ask).
I'm not quite sure whether I'm TS or just on the deviding line as you say, but I know that if I could flip a switch and restart as a female, I would.

[Paula_56]

I have said it before and will say it again. I have a feeling that a LOT more CDs out there are actuallly TS but for 1000 different reasons (or excusese depending on who you are talking to) choose not to transition.

Kate-- I agree with you, in that I don't think there are CD's over here and TS's over here. I believe that you can be some or both nobody is a like some of us my fit more into one catogory or another, but that's why I say I am transgendered.

I generally live the life of a crossdresser, but I know I would be very happy living as a woman. I do have 1000 different reasons why I don't transtion.

[StaceyJane]

Kate, I'm going to agree with you too. I spent a long time telling myself that CDing was enough.

But it isn't. I have to move forward or live a life of regret.

[linda allen]

I don't feel "trapped" at all. I was born male and I enjoy being a male and doing male things. I just like to "pretend" to be a female from time to time. I wish I could experience being a female but I'm pretty sure I would want to go back to being a male. It would be really nice to be able to switch back and forth at will.

[Jess Marie]

Linda said it best for me. I like to wear womens clothes for the rush of feeling like a woman. It's not something I want to be full time. I wear panties full time, but thats for comfort and I do feel sexy in them, but thats not the point. I am very happy as a guy, doing guy things... in panties

[Charleen]

Me, I feel trapped. Born with the wrong plumbing.

[Emily_3]

I also feel trapped, same reason as Charleen, born with the wrong plumbing

[Rianna Humble]

To an extent, Kate is right that there are TS out there who will not admit it to themselves and who hold back from transition for their own reasons. I do think that one characteristic that can distinguish a TS is knowing that you were born in the wrong body. In my case I am a woman in a man's body. I do not believe this to be true of non TS cross-dressers. Having (or not having) that knowledge does not make one person superior to another, it merely differentiates them.

Non-transsexual cross-dressers may dress for a variety of reasons including (but not limited to) the feel of the fabric, because it makes them feel good, or for sexual excitement. In my estimation, each of those reasons is valid for the individual concerned.

[BRANDYJ]

Hi Marie, I can only speak for myself and what I have learned over the years by reading everything I could get my hands on about crossdressing. It all started for me when I was about 11 years old and just going through puberty. The very first encounter with women's clothes was my mother's white nylon full slip hanging on a hook on the back of the bathroom door. Don't ask me why, but I felt it and then somehow decided to rub my privates on it. Without going into detail, that resulted in the first orgasm in my life. Talk about scared, I had no idea what an orgasm was. All I know is it felt good. But I thought I did something that would hurt my body. Odd, I never touched that slip again. But soon after, I found a box in the attic of a vacant apartment over the garage that contained some skirts and tops. I had to try them on for whatever reason. I did this off and on for the next 5 years. Always resulting in sexual satisfaction. At that young age with no place to find out anything about crossdressing, I thought I was the only boy in the world that did such things. I remember feeling like there was something wrong with me. I also remember that when I was really interested in a girl or had a girlfriend, I would stop trying on the clothes I found. Like the girl would know and not approve of this behavior if she found out. I never tried on anything of my mother's or sister's clothes... feeling that would be really wrong. So for me it was no doubt a sexual outlet. I know I liked women and girls. Perhaps more interest in them then other boys might have, No, not just sexual, but everything about them. I adored, loved, respected and honored them. I wondered about their beauty and the differences between them and being a male. I was orphaned at age 16 and then forged my birth certificate and married at age 17. I thought this crossdressing thing would go away after being married. I did not have any feminine clothes and my wife was so small that not a thing of hers would begin to fit me. So during that 5 year marriage crossdressing was almost non-existent. After the divorce and being a happy go lucky bachelor while trying to get over the pain of the divorce ( I loved my wife), I don't remember dressing at all beyond trying on pantyhose and panties that I bought. After three years, i met and fell in love with the woman that would become my second wife. While living together, I felt I had to tell her about my interest in wearing woman's clothes. I did not go well at first...the usual questions and slowly coming around once she know I was not gay or wanting to change my gender. I will never forget the day she woke me up and told me to get dressed since we had to go buy a dress for me. That was a true turning point. Over the next 5 years I learned that I was far from alone and I was free to dress any time I wanted to. My wife participated and my dressing was a non-issue as we both had fun with it as my wardrobe expanded since we wore close to the same size. She would give me her hand-me-downs. She had shared my secret with a trusted girlfriend of hers and even that friend had given me her hand-me-downs. All this is when being a crossdresser started to become much more then just a sexual outlet. I enjoyed my looking and acting like a woman. An escape, a relaxing thing to do. I liked the female image the mirror reflected. I still loved the feel of nylon, satin and lace.
I lost my wife to cancer after 10 good years together. But I was now fully accepting of my being a crossdresser. All this before this thing called the Internet. Three years later I was married again. (1988) I told my new wife about my crossdressing and she took it as matter of fact. She never had an issue with it and also was helpful and playful with it. After 17 years we divorced for reasons that had nothing to do with my being a CD. My current SO is just as wonderful, accepting and understanding as my previous wives were. I truly feel blessed and lucky.
Now to your question: I like being a male and engage in all the normal male things. But I also like my feminine side. I honestly don't want that to change in any way. I like being me, a male that happens to have a feminine side and a male side. No, I would never transition. Do I think that some of my feelings and core values lean toward being a female? I think so. Some of the better traits and emotions of the gentler sex.

Sorry if this was a long way to give you an answer, but I think all of us are different and feel differently about just how much we align with being female.

My opinion from all I read is that the majority of males that crossdress are very closeted or private about it. A very small amount among us dress in public and pass or blend. Of course if you read the many threads about shopping enfem, you'd think that many of us do. Many of us won't even shop for women's clothes while in drab and rely on catalog or Internet shopping. True, many do it for sexual or sensual expression... at least in the early years if not always during their life. As for feeling like a female trapped in a male body? I'm sure that is in degrees too. But yet a smaller amount of us that are in fact transsexual.

[Steph.TS]

I really hate that phrase, it's been used as a joke in the media, I am Male, but I feel like I'd be more compatible with my body if I were Female.

[Emily Ann Brown]

Log me in as a TS who has to play the cards I have. Money (obligations), family, and age stop me from going all the way. You don't transition until it is life or death. I am blessed...I can handle the little man part handicap.


Em

[kimdl93]

Like I've said before, I don't think there's a single dimension to our interests and desires. I often wish I could be a woman, wish I had a woman's body, and spend as much time dressed as possible. But not trapped.

[Roberta Marie]

I was just as confused for most of my life, not being able to come to terms with or understand why I had this need to dress in women's clothes. But then one day I saw a word in an online support group that changed my understanding. "Dual-gendered". It was like the lights came on and a choir started singing the "Alleluia Chorus".

If you think about it, there is very little, if anything in life that exists as a binary or dichotomy. Despite the fact that when we start to learn about any subject we may simplify it for easier understanding, nothing is either/or. We may initially start to learn about things as hard or soft, light or dark, yes or no, black or white, positive or negative, but almost everything exists somewhere in between. So, why can't gender be the same.

That's how I've come to understand myself. I have a mostly male body. But my gender identity is somewhere in the middle, both masculine and feminine. There are times when I feel more masculine, and I feel more "in balance" when I can project or appear more masculine. And there are times when I feel more feminine and I feel more in balance when I can project or appear more feminine. As comfortable, or at times uncomfortable, as I am with my male body, I think I would be just as comfortable or uncomfortable with a female body. So, for me, it would not be worth the expense, pain, or risks, to change my body, just to maintain the same level of comfort.

That's how it is for me. Everybody understands themselves differently.

[Stephanie Anne]

For every CD that is trying to admit they are not TS, there is a TS that rushed blindly through transition and now tries to convince themeless and others they did the right thing.

Not every crossdresser is a woman trapped in a man's body. Not every transsexual needs to transition. There are even transsexuals who never crossdresed before transitioning just like there are crossdressers who like being a man's man.

[Karren H]

I'm not trapped in the wrong body.... My body is trapped in the wrong world.... Or dimension..

[Sara Jessica]

For every CD that is trying to admit they are not TS, there is a TS that rushed blindly through transition and now tries to convince themeless and others they did the right thing.

Not every crossdresser is a woman trapped in a man's body. Not every transsexual needs to transition. There are even transsexuals who never crossdresed before transitioning just like there are crossdressers who like being a man's man.

As I was reading through the responses, nodding in agreement to some (a few of which I was going to quote), I get to the end and find that Stephanie Anne sums it up brilliantly, at least for me. So here's my take...

Knowing myself pretty darned well and how my gender was an issue from my earliest memories, then ignoring it to the point where I built myself quite a life (family/career/etc), I consider myself a non-transitioning transsexual. For me, it's now life along a middle path in an attempt to find some sort of balance. Yet as time goes by, my heart is squeezed a bit tighter, the noise in my head gets a bit louder, and I find myself pushing the envelop more than I should.

I guess the easiest way to convey what my motivations are is to say that while my feminine being is compartmentalized for the most part, I do try to live that existence to the fullest, hopefully without going over the line, so to speak. But speaking to the gist of the original Q, trapped? That's kind of a harsh word and I'd probably feel the squeeze tighter and the noise louder if I allowed myself to feel that way. It is what it is, I'm doing the best I am able.

[Leanne2]

I am a transgender woman or M to F TS. But show me in the same situation as Emily Ann. I just have to learn to deal with the cards I have been delt. Leanne

[Tina B.]

Some days, I could look you in the eye and say, I'm a CD'er and that's all I am. But then there are the days, that I just can't wait to dress, and bring out my girly side, and then I realize I could play this part for life, and never look back. Sex has not been a part of my dressing for years, but I dress more than ever. I've had a very good life as a man, but I will always wonder if I could have been even happier, if I had transitioned. I guess I would have to admit to being at least a little TS, if you can be just a little TS.
Tina B.

[Christie ann]

count me in. I definitely wish I had been born a girl

[Holly]

Trapped? No, I wouldn't say that. Assigned to the wrong team would be more like it. Under the circumstances, I've played the best game I could. I married a wonderful woman, raised some amazing children, had a great career. I don't have a single regret. And yet in the back of my mind I have always dreamed of being traded to the other team. It's too late now. Too many people would be hurt. I'll continue to play the cards I've been dealt. And I'll continue to learn from the other team. Over all, I think it has made me a better player in the game of life.

[Jennifer_Ph]

I have no desire to look like, act like, or be a woman. The picture in my avitar is from 10 years ago when I had a professional makeover. I thought I had to do all the make up and fake boobs etc. to enjoy what I liked the most - the clothes. I love skirts, high heels, and hosiery. I have a few dresses, but nothing to talk about. I have no desire to 'pass'. The only thing I wear publicly that might be considered 'fem' is pantyhose. I wear them in male mode with shorts just about everywhere - unless I'm going to be welding. All my friends and family know I wear hose, as they've all seen me in them. It's just normal now. I haven't gone out and about in skirt and heels in male mode, but I am tempted to. So I am a man in a mans body that really likes the added fun and comfort that womens clothes offer. Mens clothes are just so freakin boring. And mens shoes... don't even get me started. They, in a word, suck. ;-)

[Pythos]

I am a male that does not like being limited in my looks or the clothing I wear based on my sex. I DO NOT want to transition and have no intention to do so.
I view women as equals (which is a source of disappointment when I hear of women "wanting" to be inferior, usually due to some teaching they got in their growing up). I think sexually based limitations are absolute BS, and need to go away.

When I really look at it, I am in several ways androgynous. I don't really do any "manly" things, or I do things that for a long time were "manly" and limited to only males (car work, flying), but I also enjoy "feminine" stuff too (fashion, makeup designs, ), everything else I do is unisex, for lack of a better term. But then again I think most things are unisex, there really are few things in this world that are characteristic of one sex or the other.

I know on gender tests I usually get right in between male and female thinking. Which is fine by me. It is just the outside world that has issues.

As I have stated many times, if I could go about skirted, with my hair how I like, and makeup, and still be "male", I would be happy.

Women did it, it is time for men to do it too.

I just wish I was not born in such a stupid world that limits on such unimportant things.