What an adventure this has been! Most of you know that I retired a little over two years ago after over 30 years in public service. My wife, however, has had to remain employed in order to maintain her healthcare benefits. Some recent changes in our lives have made the numbers work out so that she is going to be able to join me in retirement. Needless to say, she is overjoyed. Both of us have become disenchanted with California over the last several years. My wife moved here when she was twelve and I am a native daughter, born in Hollywood (and no, that’s not where my name came from). So for the last several months, we have been house shopping out of state… specifically Nevada. We have spent a great deal of time there over the last ten to twelve years and in doing so, have established quite a nice social network. We had been talking about this move for almost a year, but everything pretty much fell into place this past October and in November we began the hunt in earnest.
First thing we needed to do was find ourselves an agent. In checking with the above mentioned “social network,” we got a referral to a realtor and made contact with her. I made an appointment with her for the next day to meet in her office. I picked out a brown skirt and an animal print top to wear. My wife and I headed out to the office. Once we arrived, we told the receptionist who we were there to see and she asked us “ladies” to have a seat and that our agent would be with us in a moment. True to her word, our agent appeared momentarily and we were escorted into a small conference where we also met her partner. They work together as a team. And I have to tell you, Sue and Pam make a great team! The interview began and my wife and I shared what our dream house would be like, the got-to-haves, the nice-to-haves, the live-withs, and the deal-breakers. Then we called the finance company to begin the pre-qualification process. I was introduced as Holly and my wife as Ms. Holly. Of course, during the interview, I we to reveal our legal names but it was no problem and the kind woman on the other end of the phone always referred to me in my chosen name and gender. After the phone call we continued to talk to our agent about the benefits/hazards of certain locations and the real estate market in general. After a little over three hours we finished and she said she would begin researching available properties that would meet our needs and that she would call us in the morning.
The following morning my cell phone rang. When I answered I heard, “Holly, this is Sue. Are you and your wife ready to start looking at houses?” It seems as if the finance company didn’t have any problem pre-qualifying us for a loan in the amount we were seeking and our agent had already found some properties that looked interesting. So I made arrangements for us to meet her in about two hours. We spent the day looking at several different houses but didn’t find “the one” that day. But it did give our agent a better idea of what we were looking for as we analyzed this and that in each house we visited.
We had to go home to California that day, but over the course of the next couple of months, we made several trips to Nevada to look at homes. On one trip, we got up early (4AM), got dressed, made the four hour drive to Nevada, looked at houses, turned around and drove home, getting into bed at 5AM! In December we found a house we liked. We actually made an offer on it. But after a couple of counter offers it was apparent that the seller was not serious in wanting to make a deal. The house was a flip and they had done a nice job on the renovation, going so far as to put in plantation style shutters throughout the house. But in doing so, they went over budget and were pricing the house above market value in a depressed market. Sorry. I was not going to pay for their mistakes.
Then in January, we had our Halleluiah moment. The house is on a quiet, dead end street and has great curb appeal. It was built in 1999 so is reasonably new. The landscaping is mature and all low maintenance with irrigation in place. When we went inside, the owner was there. It seems that his mother lived there and just recently passed away. He was packing some things in boxes in the kitchen but looked very lost. Understandably so… he had just lost his mom. I know the feeling, having lost my parents a number of years ago and having to deal with packing up a lifetime of their possessions, some of which are still in my garage. My wife and I had a quick conference with our realtor. “Would it be appropriate for us to make an offer on the house furnished,” I asked? I knew from experience what a hassle and expense it is to move and store furniture, not to mention the emotional drain it can become.
Long story short, our offer was accepted although some furnishings were to be excluded because family members desired some pieces for sentimental reasons. It’s not a problem for me. I own a house full of furniture now. But since my wife is going to be working until the end of the school year, and I have to establish residency in Nevada as part of the requirement for the loan, I’m going to need a few things in both places. All I really needed was a bed, a chair, and a table. We are getting much more than that.
Now, a little about the house. It’s just under 2000 sq ft and has three bedrooms and two baths even the guest bath has two sinks. The master bedroom is huge. Our bedroom set will finally have a good home and fit quite nicely. The master bath has a separate tub and shower, hers and hers sinks in the countertop, and a vanity area between the sinks that is well lit and will be great for putting on makeup. The potty is in it’s own room with a door for privacy and to not offend others olfactory senses. The kitchen is large with a sink in an island so you can do your food prep while still visiting with your guests in the adjacent family room. It also has a large pantry plus plenty of other cabinetry to store all our china, tableware and kitchen gadgets. Also just off the kitchen is an informal dining area in a little bay window area looking into the backyard. The fireplace in the family room is equipped with a self-igniting gas log. Flip a switch and poof… instant fire! There is a sliding glass door from the family room that leads out to a patio, which looks very comfortable and inviting. There is also a very small patch of grass in the backyard that will take all of ten minutes to cut and trim. When entering the house, the formal living room is to your left and the dining room is to the right. Straight through will take you into the kitchen/family room and a hallway to the right leads to the sleeping quarters. Also off the hallway is a linen closet, a coat closet, and the laundry room. The laundry room has lots of shelving in it as well. Oh, I forgot to mention that all the appliances are staying as well, including the washer and dryer.
What an amazing time this has been. This is Holly’s home. She has been involved with the purchase from the beginning and will stay involved through the conclusion of the sale. Our realtor and the people in the realty office have never seen me as anyone other than Holly and have not treated me as anyone other than Holly. The same holds true for the mortgage lender and the escrow company. Yes, they all know I am transgender because I have to use my legal name on all the documents. But the conversations, the correspondence, all of it are with Holly. All of it is with me.
Why is that? It is that I am incredibly lucky and have happened upon open minded, accepting people? That may be partially true but I don’t think it is entirely true. Is it because home sales are down and they are all desperate to get their hands on anyone’s money? Again, it may be a factor but I don’t think the entire reason for taking me at face value. I think the acceptance comes not from the others. Their acceptance is a result of my own acceptance and confidence in myself. I stopped a long time ago trying to pass as a woman. Now I just try to pass as me. Actually it’s pretty easy. I know how to be me pretty well. And when I’m myself, it’s easier for others I meet to be at ease with me. I know it sounds ridiculously simple, but it works. At least for me.
I think it also shows others I’m not so different from them. I need housing. I need food. I need clothing. Simple. My body doesn’t fool anyone. But my mind, it doesn’t have to fool anyone. The body and the mind come as a package deal. And of the two, the mind is the more powerful. To everyone, both male and female born, whatever you are inside, celebrate it. Live it!
Oh, by the way, the name of the street we are going to be living on? Sly Fox. Icing on the cake.
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