Comments that make you believe they know!

[Karren H]

Personally I'm at a place in life I don't really care who knows any more and though I have not announced it to the world.... I still pickup on comments and the way they were posed that indicates that the person I'm talking to know I crossdress..

Just a few minutes ago a coworker in another department was explaining this woman he saw downtown and what she was wearing.... "She had these spiked heel boots that lace up both sides..... You know.... Its not like I have a pair but you might...". So was that just a joke or does he assume I have a lot of women's foot ware at home?

Last year our VP was walking with a group of us and this girl walks by with a pair of black and white zebra pattern heels on and he says to me "I better not catch you wearing anything like those to work".... I responded that I had nothing to wear with shoes like that and mine were much more sedated... So he knows I wear high heels and doesn't want me coming to work enfemme?

None of the comments are mean or hurtful... Just like mater-of-fact comments.... From "your such a girl" to "the ladies dressing room is over there", I can go on and on..... So is it just me that gets these comments or am I imagining this? Who else get comments that make you think everyone knows and what are they?

[NathalieX66]

No comments yet, though I worry all the time.

My guy fb page has a pic of of me dressed up, and I have one co-worker, four ex-co-workers, and one next door neighbor of a lesbian coworker as friends on the thing.
If I'm dead, I'm dead.....so far so good (....keeping my fingers crossed).

Personal friends & family notwithstanding.

[Brenda456]

I wonder if there are things we say that tip them off. Today was "wear red day" and I made some comment about the red dress run and the red hat society and asked if I really have to wear red again?

I was joking (sort of) but with those occassional joking comments, some of my co-workers may wonder about me. . .

[Stephenie S]

Well Karen,

Of COURSE they know. How could they not? I mean, you're "KAREN the FABULOUS" aren't you? Contrary to the prevailing opinion on this forum, most people just don't care what you wear in your spare time.

Do your job, love your family, pay your taxes, be kind to your neighbors, go to church, and nobody minds a little CDing. Your boss has told you not to show up at work dressed like that, so don't.

Stephie

[GingerLeigh]

Oh yeah. Same kind of comments at work. I just throw it back at them now. No point being defensive, just embarrass them so they think twice about making those kind of unwelcome comments.

Ginger

[Karren H]

Lol. I remember you saying that Nathalie and haven't gone to your male FB page to befriend you yet! I think the younger you are the more you worry?

[Lucy_Bella]

Get em all the time....I would worry if I didn't ..Because if they didn't make remarks then they must know..

[Melinda Lou]

To me, that sounds like a case of "I know I'm not supposed to say anything, but it makes me a little uncomfortable, so I'm going to try to relieve the tension with humor." Go easy on them, I think they're trying to show you it's hard for them, but they want to at least be credited with trying to be accepting.

[Phyliss]

Had one just the other night. I've been taking "fencing lessons" for the past year. One of my classmates and I got to joking about rather than wear the traditional Fencing jackets, why not wear something akin to the English Dandy Fop complete with lace cuffs. She commented that she thought I'd look good in Velvet and lace. Of course my bright pink gear bag might be a "give away"

[Lainie]

No comments yet, though I worry all the time.

My guy fb page has a pic of of me dressed up, ...
If I'm dead, I'm dead.....so far so good (....keeping my fingers crossed).

umm, so if you worry, why post on your guy fb page? Thrill of taking risks?

[Marie-Elise]

I don't know. I think it's just part of macho guy/guy ribbing. I wouldn't get too paranoid.

I mean, just two days ago at work, a woman had left her stylish computer bag (hot pink leather) in one of the chairs and ran to the restroom before a meeting. A guys comes in, looks at the bag and says "Mind if I move your bag and sit there?"; he was smiling.

I responded that I would never carry that color bag with a tan shirt. The others in the room laughed.

The funny this is that I had never even met this guy before. I am a consultant and frequently go to different companies.

Oh, and many times, I have been hanging out with friends and they have said things like "That skirt is so hot, even you would look good in it." My stock response is "Only when entertaining close friends." And that always gets a laugh.

When I came out to my wife (I had never dressed while married), she said "So, only while entertaining close friends...that isn't really a joke is it?". My response: "It's always been a joke...makes me laugh inside."

[Julogden]

It's hard to say. Could be coincidental attempts at humor, or they might be fishing, you never know.

If you underdress at work, maybe someone caught a glimpse of something that's given you away?

Carol

[Heather Daniels]

Karren, you've been with your company a long time. You underdress at work and go out dressed while on the road. I think they're on to you girl.

[sissystephanie]

I am a self-employed Insurance agent, so no co-workes to comment. However, I do out dressed enfemme almost every day and should get a lot of comments!!! Surprisingly I get very few!! The reason I should get comments is because although I am dressed totally as a woman, I look exactly like the man that I am!! No wig and no makeup. Well, maybe some lipstick but that is all!! Been going out that way for several years now, and have never had any type of problems!!

But Karren, I think Heather is right. Your co-workers do know!!

[ReineD]

They might know, but they probably have no understanding of what it means. Haven't you said in the past that in your office, you don't bother hiding your more eclectic, or feminine tastes? I suspect most people (unless they have severe moral or religious objections) think the CDing is just some sort of kink.

[Karren H]

Why Yes I under dress at work. For the last ..... A long time. And yes I'll the only guy wearing red for National Wear Red Day... And yes I have a ton of lotions on my desk and pink tissues and makeup in my desk drawers! Doesn't everyone? I was thinking that everyone gets these comments? Lol

[DebsUK]

I don't think I've had any comments like that.....yet. I'm clearly not trying hard enough. One guy at work has made comments about me using face cream, but I'm not sure if that's because of my radiance-boosting moisturiser or the fact that I have a tube of dermatological hand cream on my desk (I have some dry skin on my fingers that is a real pain, but that's not a TG thing)

[Persephone]

It doesn't sound like they're too worried about it Karren, at least as long as you don't wear women's jeans.

There are people who fall into what I call "Category 4," or "Close Encounters of the 4th Kind." Those are the folks in your life who are most comfortable with a "don't ask, don't tell" approach. They have noticed a few things but really would prefer if the possibilities were neither confirmed nor denied.

Knowing that you crossdress would make them uncomfortable around you, so they just accept any "evidence" as part of who you are and never want to put the pieces together.

[Fab Karen]

See girls, if you get such comments, no need to panic & run as if you had just been caught embezzling by your boss.
And the movies prove that if you do run, and hide out at a remote motel, a judgemental "mother" might pay you a visit.

[sami1952]

i get them all the time,recently about getting my ears pierced.anytime someone make a comment i just response with i have to loose weight because my dresses are getting to tight or my panty hose are to tight.they just laugh, if only they knew the real truth.This friend of mine was using my computer and i had left my facebook logged in and he saw my picture and ask is that you i said maybe or maybe it's one of your friends,he said nothing after that.

[eluuzion]

Have you checked in the mirror to see if somebody put a sticker on your back that says:


"I'm a crossdresser, KICK ME ! ".

Hey, you never know...


I can tell you from personal experience that I totally freaked out the night I completely shaved off my eyebrows! The next few days, I was meticulously drawing in eyebrows with an eyeliner pencil and eye shadow.

A few weeks later, it takes me two seconds to sketch a quick line, check my image in the mirror, and believe nobody will notice...yeah, right. Then I blew off removing my foundation before going to meet a client to hand off some paperwork. He immediately said..."what is that on your face? You look like you are wearing make-up!!" I quickly covered by saying it was "self-tanner" and I was using it as "windblock" when shoveling the snow. I actually convinced myself I pulled it off...

Hey, good news is that we are all too old to be sent to our room now, right?

You are probably just fine, and so am I. "You're OK, I'm OK", right? That is what that book said...so we must be right? right? alrighty then...

And really...nobody mines anyway...oh, wait...I guess everybody mines where you work...

[wearingtanpantyhose]

This might be a clue that they know.. "you look nice in that skirt but your slip is showing."

[kimdl93]

I've gotten the "you're such a girl" comment a couple of times from female co-workers. One gave me the code name Marta, I guess because Kim wasn't fem enough!

[2B Natasha]

So is it just me that gets these comments or am I imagining this? Who else get comments that make you think everyone knows and what are they?

no Karen. It's not just you. Matter of fact that happened to me yesterday at work.

Sitting at the usual lunch table with all the ladies I eat lunch with, gossip with and plow through mags like shape and the nordstrom Xmas catalog. Another ladies sits down and starts to talk. She mentions that she is doing the Seattle marathon 5k this year. I asked her why that one and not the iron girl? She said she never heard of iron girl so I explained it to her. That it is for girls/ladies only. You get this and that and it's to benefit women. So she asked me why I don't do it myself. Once again I tell her it's only for women. So she says. Well. Why don't you get a wig. I tell her I have a wig but they still won't let me do it. With a shocked look on her face. She asks me. Why do you have a wig? I answer her. Actually o have three. Really I have four. With shock. Three?! Then it happened. The usual ladies I have been eating lunch with. Well one of them is casually flipping through a mag and smirking to herself. Without skipping a beat say matte if factor. " he's a crossdresser that's why " and turns another page. So the first lady looks at me and says. No? Really. I tell her she just told you didn't she. Turning to the lunch mate she asks. How long have you known this? Since he was looking at the nordstrom Xmas catalog last year in the beginning if December. I just smiled and laughed inside.

You see. I never said a word to her about crossdressing. She put it all together. She felt comfortable enough around me to know I wouldn't care. Which I don't. And clearly she doesn't either. I ate lunch with her today. Not a word about yesterday.

I really think she was thinking to herself. " how thick can you be? He's all but written it down for you. Catch a clue ".

So yes Karen. Happens to others as well.

[Stephanie Anne]

Hey Karren, they know and don't care. Just come out already.