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Thread: Questions

  1. #1
    Aspiring Member Danni Bear's Avatar
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    Questions

    The question has been asked in many ways and times over the last several months. What am I and the difference in a CD and a TS? How do I know if I am a CD or TS? Does being a CD lead to being TS?

    The answers to this is simple and complex. A CD is anyone who has ever worn the clothes of the opposite gender to their assigned birth gender. This encompasses almost the entire human race. That is the simple answer. The more complex answer encompasses a far smaller percentage of the human population. By popular defination, a CD is one who for sexual or personal reasons dons the attire of the opposite gender on a regular or frequent basis. This can be aS simple as wearing an artice of feminine or masculine undergarments under typical outerwear to dressing and the using of artifical aids to present an outward appearence of the opposite sex. This is all crossdressing in it's accepted form.

    The truth is,that is correct in as far as it goes. A CD is much more than that,he or she is a complex person whose very being drives them to wear these items. This need never goes away for any throughout their lifetime, though the desire and compunction does let up on many occasions allowing a CD respite from that need. This is where the difference comes from in a CD and a TS. In a TS the need to dress or become the opposite gender to the one assigned at birth never recedes or goes away.

    Being a TS is being a CD carried to a different level than dressing alone can soothe. It encompasses more than just physical appearence although that is a part. It is mental and emotional stability in a disordered world. The knowing that you will never be the whole person you are no matter what you change about yourself. There will always be a part missing. Never being truely female or male,forever somewhere in between the two. Many TS through surgery and hormone therapy live lives that are fullfilling in their chosen gender, others never reach that level of acceptence either in themselves or from family and friends
    .
    Being a CD in and of itself will not make anyone TS. It can and does open you to finding out more about yourself. Nothing and no one can make someone TS. This is something that cannot be learned or tought. It is inherent in all who are TS, buried deep inside or found and exposed to the light of day. It is not something that anyone would willing choose. There is absolutely no choice involved in being TS. The only choice that any TS has is in how they handle the life that they are dealt.

    So, is there a difference in a CD and a TS? Yes and no, we are all CD. A TS usually has more issues than a CD but they are still CD's.

    Danni Beard

  2. #2
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    A TS usually has more issues than a CD but they are still CD's.

    Danni Beard[/QUOTE]

    I am ok with everything else that you said, except for the last sentence. I am not CD I am TS and think that all TS cross a line that goes beyond CD. That line may be different for some and the same for otheres but once you cross it you are no longer CD. For me and crossing my own line was a little backwards. I realized that I was TS the first time I went to see a therapist for the first time and I had already been on hormones for several months. That's not true though, I always knew that I was TS I was just in denial. I think that there is huge difference between TS and CD, but who really cares and does it really matter?

  3. #3
    Gold Member Cynthia Anne's Avatar
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    I think I will except that explanation. So that makes me a TS that loves to cross dress!

  4. #4
    Joanie sterling12's Avatar
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    So now, (for people within and without The Community who will listen) we point out that we are ALL transgendered. I imagine that's why it's become an accepted umbrella term to include everyone in a single spectrum.

    I think a lot of Trans-Folk who want to cause division and dissension will no-doubt wish to dispute your observation. But, I think they have an "agenda" which seems to sooth their psyche, if they believe that there is some "fundamental difference that makes their particular situation different from other folks."

    One simple proof among many....Wish I had a nickel for every honest CD who has expressed their "fantasies" about becoming A Woman. TS Gurls may make "The Ultimate Leap," but The Feelings, The Longing, The Desires, are all there for the Vast Majority of whatever Labeled Group you would care to name. And, as you have pointed out, about 99% of all TS persons, started their journey with crossdressing, and it continues until death.

    I've pointed this out before, and I will continue to do so. Instead of focusing on some imagined differences within our ranks, we should use The Idea of a Gender Spectrum. ALL of us, are somewhere walking along That Same Road! When The Psychiatrists, Writers of Books, Dullard Talk Show Hosts, and many others; try to focus on differences it only weakens Our Cause.

    WE should be uniting, enjoying, and celebrating our uniqueness. We should be actively opposing people who would divide us!

    Peace and Love, Joanie

  5. #5
    Aspiring Member Danni Bear's Avatar
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    Gretchen,

    One question. Do you dress in attire of the opposite gender than was your birth assignment?

    Myself and my husband are both post-op TS and have been for almost 12 years and are both still CD in that we dress opposite to our assigned birth genders. by our now lega genders no we don't crossdress in the convential defination but yet we are still CD and will always be that.

    Danni

  6. #6
    Gold Member Cynthia Anne's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=sterling12;2405
    WE should be uniting, enjoying, and celebrating our uniqueness. We should be actively opposing people who would divide us!

    Peace and Love, Joanie[/QUOTE] Thank you Joanie, you made me rethink!

  7. #7
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    I have struggled with this in my own head for many years and I still can not agree with you on this one. I think that once you start evasive action against your own body you go past CD, surgeries, hormones, massive amounts of hair removal, legal name and gender marker change, presenting 24-7 the gender you were meant to be. This in my opinion goes beyond CD, and I do think that we should all be united as a whole, but there is a difference. Do not take me wrong though, I would never say that one is better than the other, we are different from one another. Maybe I am wrong and if I am then I can admit it, but I am going to need some serious convincing.

  8. #8
    Aspiring Member Danni Bear's Avatar
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    Gretchen,

    To agreee or to disagree is normal. to disagree and to be pleasent about it is something that sadly has been absent from here a lot lately.
    Everyone's thoughts are as valid as the others.

    Love
    Danni

  9. #9
    the happy camper
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    Danni,

    I really appreciated reading this tonight. I have heard the very opposite viewpoint a bit too often in the past couple of months, and it upsets me greatly. I went to my first TG support group meeting last night, and when it came my turn to speak I was very nervous. I was actually afraid of being scorned by other members of the group as "just a crossdresser." I was afraid of being told either that I was in denial about being TS, or in denial about being a fetishist. Fortunately, neither happened and I was treated very well.

    It is hard to explain to some of those who have made the decision to transition because they feel driven by their desire to experience the world as a woman, that one can feel a desire that is just as genuine even though it falls short of wanting to have the experience 24/7. They don't see that what would be for them an incomplete, false existence is for us a fulfilling life.

  10. #10
    Aspiring Member Danni Bear's Avatar
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    Sophie,

    for many years i was among those who thought that CD'ers were not being true to themselves or to others in not transitioning. It has taken me many years to realise that not all need or desire to be a woman 24/7. That for most CD'ers the wearing of the clothes is enough along with some artifical aids. This was very hard for me and comes after much soul searching.

    Danni

  11. #11
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Oddly enuff, when I BEGAN dressing, I may have been TS. As I constantly fantasized about having breasts and becoming a female!

    After a few years, those thots vanished! Now, I'm completely satisfied being a CD!

    But then, I DO tend to do things the HARD WAY, or BACKWARDS!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  12. #12
    Silver Member Marissa's Avatar
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    Thank you Sophie..with exception of not going to a meeting, you have said exactly what I have been feeling in the past few months too. I had just sent Danni a PM with a statement "I didn't know that being a 'crossdresser' was such a bad thing, even in this community" Crossdresser in the manner as explained by you that is.

    I did appreciate Danni's explaination very much also. We are all different..yet we are the same.

    Hugs,
    Marissa
    Marissa



    "You better look hard and look twice,
    ...is that me, baby or just a brilliant disguise?"- The Boss

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by docrobbysherry View Post
    Oddly enuff, when I BEGAN dressing, I may have been TS. As I constantly fantasized about having breasts and becoming a female!

    After a few years, those thots vanished! Now, I'm completely satisfied being a CD!

    I used to entertain thoughts like that too, back when I hid in the closet.

    But after my "**** it all" moment, when I realized I actually could go out somewhere with my friends dressed however I pleased, all that disappeared. Most of them now pretty much expect me to show up en femme... there's little thrill left to it now but for the kick I get from showing off a new outfit or shoes. I once would have liked female genitalia; no longer. I'm pretty damn happy with what I've got, and looking back, I'm now rather shocked I could have ever seen things otherwise.

    I have to wonder... I see so much repression here. So many members of this forum don't feel they can be or do what they wish. Does that have the effect of making some think they are something more than a repressed guy with a taste for pretty clothes? That's just my personal experience, but statistically speaking, I can't be the only one.

    Is it all just greener grass on the other side of the fence? People always want what they can't have. And often, worse things happen when they do get it.
    Last edited by 2SpeedTranny; 02-10-2011 at 05:43 AM.

  14. #14
    Aspiring Member Danni Bear's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2SpeedTranny View Post

    I have to wonder... I see so much repression here. So many members of this forum don't feel they can be or do what they wish. Does that have the effect of making some think they are something more than a repressed guy with a taste for pretty clothes? That's just my personal experience, but statistically speaking, I can't be the only one.
    what is a repressed guy with a taste for pretty clothes?

    sounds a lot like a crossdresser to me my worth

    danni

  15. #15
    GerriJerry Gerrijerry's Avatar
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    A very interesting talk. All parties having valid points.
    TO OVER WEIGHT TO POST A PHOTO, MY wife tells me I look like I am pregnant

  16. #16
    Silver Member noeleena's Avatar
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    Hi.

    Danni.

    I would have to say that sounds pretty good to me.. how ever we are not all well some of us any way as C D or T S or T V . of cause you know what i am. my mind set is a bit different in as much as being intersex in mind . you see i have the mind set of being both, male & female . well woman. & i can not seperate one from the other . for me there is no difference.
    So ill ask this ? that then puts me out side of being a C D or T S, Trans , tho i did call my self a transfemale. / woman,
    So would you call a androgynous person C D or even T S . just a thought ...

    Oh well just my spanner in the gears. to mess things up... dont you just love a nut case...back to the assylum .

    ...noeleena...

  17. #17
    Silver Member Joanne f's Avatar
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    There are two ways of looking at it , society's general perception of it would no doubt consider most to be some sort of CD although some have the intelligence to know the difference , and the individuals perception of who or what they are which could be and for some will be quite different , so it would be very understandable for a TS not to consider that they are any sort of cross dresser for they will go on their perception of who they are and not the general public's view of it as will also the person who cross dress`s only for the reason`s of their personal choice.
    Then you also have another point that should be thought about , if you want it recognised that being a TS also makes you a cross dresser then it would not take long for some wife`s/SOs to look at it the other way around and think that all CDs will be TS and i expect that will not go down to well with some , i am sure we would all love it to be easy and understandable for all but the main thing you should remember is what benefits one type of person in this way of life will benefit all whether you just want to wear a skirt out in public without harassment or whether you want to melt into society as a complete woman .
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Joanne

  18. #18
    One Perky Goth Gurl Pythos's Avatar
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    well, once again, I am just a plain old run of the mill, yet exotic, CD.

    I am comfortable with that.
    "I am not altogether on anyone's side as no one is all together on my side"
    Tree beard. Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers.

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