Nicole, you have summed up pretty much everything I've said is a problem with this kind of thinking in saying that being thought of gay is a "cross to bear". Why is it a problem under most circumstances? Pythos I can see how you can feel that way if you are looking for a female partner, but if I understand you, that's more about frustration at something being made more difficult rather than the fact of people thinking you are gay. Also it might be good for your female SO to be reassured that you aren,'t going to don a frock and run off with the milkman, but taking close relationships out of the equation it shouldn't matter what people assume one way or the other.