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Thread: Maybe dumb question: want vs need?

  1. #1
    Come and talk with me ;) Briana90802's Avatar
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    Maybe dumb question: want vs need?

    Sometime I feel I need to dress to satisfy the "pink fog" as it were. And other times I just feel like I want to dress. I've read where people say that the need to dress is so strong that they take trips and have hotel visits to satisfy the urge.

    Which is it for you? Do you dress because you need to or because you want to? Or a combination of both? And why?

  2. #2
    What is normal anyway? Rianna Humble's Avatar
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    Before I had fully accepted that I am TS, I definitely dressed out of need. Now I dress for practical reasons - I have no male clothes.
    Check out this link if you are wondering about joining Safe Haven.

    This above all: To thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any

    Galileo said "You cannot teach a man anything" and they accuse ME of being sexist

    Never ascribe to malice that which can be easily explained by sheer stupidity

  3. #3
    Senior Age Member sissystephanie's Avatar
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    I dress only because I like to!! I have no desire to be a woman, just like to dress like one. I like the fit, feel, and look of feminine clothing and that is the only reason I wear those things. I do dress at least part of every day, simply because I like to. For many years I have found myself much more comfortable in feminine clothes than in male clothing. My dear late wife preferred me to be enfemme when we were alone, and I still like to do that! In response to Rianna, my feminine wardrobe is far bigger than my male one!!
    Stephanie

    Lady on the outside, but man underneath!

  4. #4
    Gold Member Cynthia Anne's Avatar
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    I dress because that's who I am! So I guess I need to in a sense, but I want to also!?

  5. #5
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    Sometimes the want to dress feels so much like a need that it drives me to depression and can't get it out of my head. I ended up having to do something around the house to distract me.

    Other times, it's more for pleasure and not so demanding.

    There are times when I can't dress for months, but I've found underdressing helps a great deal and takes the edge off. Gets me through the dry times. To a certain extent. As the time approaches that I know I'll have time, I get very anxious (sp) and a little less patient.

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member Christy_M's Avatar
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    Maslow's Heriarchy of Needs...is it Physiological, security, belonging, esteem or self actualization? That is the $64K question. I am sure the answer here is as diverse as the TG spectrum itself. If I had higher self esteem, it may be physiological for me. I know I don't come out fully due to safety so is it really physiological or just self actualization. This is why I decided to get more "couch" time with a shrink to help me understand me. One size does not fit all and results may vary. E Pluribus Unum...May the force be with you - and also with you.

  7. #7
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    You need to sleep, you want to have sex. The only connection is they often take place in a bed. You never need to crossdress but you want to satisfy a desire. That's the rub.

    I needed to stop lying to myself, I wanted to come out. I never had to crossdress to satisfy that.
    [SIZE=2]
    [/SIZE]

  8. #8
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    I dress simply because women's clothes fit well, look flatering, and feel good... men's clothes do not... I do love the feel of skirts... and yes I wear them on trips...

  9. #9
    Transwoman
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    Before I transitioned I did crossdress. It was almost always out of need.

  10. #10
    the happy camper
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    Quote Originally Posted by Briana90802 View Post
    Which is it for you? Do you dress because you need to or because you want to? Or a combination of both? And why?
    I dress because I want to.

  11. #11
    One Perky Goth Gurl Pythos's Avatar
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    I just like the look and feel of clothing styles that are feminine. I like tight and sleek clothing, or long and flowing. For some reason, these styles are only for women. For some reason the male physique is to be hidden under loose and baggy clothing.

    I love the feel of a skirt hem brushing gently against my shin, or upper leg.
    "I am not altogether on anyone's side as no one is all together on my side"
    Tree beard. Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers.

  12. #12
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I DON'T WANT TO!

    I HAVE TO! For now.
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  13. #13
    Yes, this is really me! shayleetv's Avatar
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    That is a very difficult question, for me at least. I dress because I want to fulfill that need to have SHAYLEE in my life. Some call it "pink fog" but she is a part of who I really am. Shaylee is a part of everything I do and everything I am. She doesn't stop being a part of me like the clothes she wears when I put them back in the closet. She governs the things I think and the things that I want to be. Don't get me wrong about my male side, it is masculine and dominates the feminine side of me, but she is there non the less. No simple answer from me, I'm to complex.
    "If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your troubles, you wouldn't sit for a month."
    ~Theodore Roosevelt

  14. #14
    Hot Blooded Space People
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    I can stand to not do much dressing if my schedule is hectic (like it has been lately) but I always need to set aside some time for Ashleigh, as minimal as it may be in the end. Lately I've been going to sleep partially dressed.

    The prospect of stopping entirely is very disturbing...and last fall I cared enough to do it while living in a place where it wasn't exactly welcome...sooo....I think I'd fall on the need side of things. By need I guess I mean emotional need. It's a need I don't entirely understand, but I know it's there.

  15. #15
    Feelin' Girly KrystalA's Avatar
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    I do it because I want to. I enjoy the girly feeling of panties and bras and other feminine things. It's not really a need, as I can dress comfortably in drab when necessary and be fine with it.
    [SIZE="3"][/SIZE]Life is what happens while you're making other plans

  16. #16
    Gold Member erickka's Avatar
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    I'm one of those who just likes to dress. Many eons ago, it was a need, but after fully accepting this part of myself...... y'all know where I'm going with this.

  17. #17
    *Kisses and Best Wishes* Wendy_Marie's Avatar
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    Briana,
    That is so not a dumb question...I believe that I need to dress this way to fulfill a need... Wendy is as much a part of my mentality, my persona as David (My male name) is a part of me.
    Some choose to dress to fulfill an overtly sexual need...others need to dress because it is just who they are...the only one who can answer this question for you is in the mirror. Go ask them.
    [SIZE="3"]"I can't talk girl talk when there is a guy inside my head." Gracie Lou Freebush[/SIZE]
    Is this all that's left of my life before me. Straight Jacket Memories and Seditive Highs! No Happy Ending like they always Promised...There's got to be something left for me... And I Turn my Head and Stare into the Eyes of a Stranger.
    To those of you who consider yourselves to be "Cat People" I apologize in advance for I am not.

  18. #18
    Silver Member Joanne f's Avatar
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    There use to be an overwhelming desire to need to dress as it was a confirmation of who or what i am but now it is more of want to dress with the odd occasion of still needing to .
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Joanne

  19. #19
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    How do you really know? Well, if you can't dress, then you will know. If you get stressed or feel depression or have another side effect, then you needed to. If nothing happens, then you wanted to. But if you get to dress regularly, do you really know?

  20. #20
    What is normal anyway? Rianna Humble's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sue View Post
    How do you really know? Well, if you can't dress, then you will know. If you get stressed or feel depression or have another side effect, then you needed to. If nothing happens, then you wanted to. But if you get to dress regularly, do you really know?
    Good thinking!

    Would you count losing sleep then getting up, washed and clothed at 1 a.m. to buy women's clothes to put on for the walk home as an indicator of need on that scale?
    Check out this link if you are wondering about joining Safe Haven.

    This above all: To thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any

    Galileo said "You cannot teach a man anything" and they accuse ME of being sexist

    Never ascribe to malice that which can be easily explained by sheer stupidity

  21. #21
    Senior Member dawnmarrie1961's Avatar
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    I dress beccause the only other option is to run around naked. With the exception of a few nude beaches that behavior is frowned upon here. Bummer.

    To be truthful I dress the way I do out of necessity in order to stay alive. Besides I don't feel or look right in mens cloths. They all seem so big and bulky.
    Last edited by dawnmarrie1961; 02-18-2011 at 06:57 PM.
    CANCER IS A BITCH SO YOU HAVE TO BE MORE OF A BITCH TO BEAT IT.

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