Being Prepared

[Roberta Marie]

After reading a few threads lately, about people getting caught, a thought occured to me. Having had a 26 year career in the fire service, we were trained to always have a back up plan, to always have a plan of action for when the crap hit the fan. This is also something that, while I was responsible for a while for educating the public about fire safety, we taught people to have an escape plan for if their smoke detector went off or if their clothes caught fire (We all remember stop, drop, and roll, right?)

So my quesiton, for those that are still in the closet, what is your plan of action if you are ever caught, be it by a friend, your spouse, a neighbor, a child? How many have thought in advance how you would handle such a situation?

Would you try to lie your way out of it? Do you have a stack of reference material ready with some educational responses? Would you just say, "It's none
of your busyness"?

I think that no matter how careful we are, getting caught is inevitable. So, how do you plan on handling it?

[5150 Girl]

THis is who I am, and I don't care who knows it. Therfore, I don't feel have really need a back up plan. Whoever sees me, sees me.
I'm reminded of the old saying, "Those who matter don't mind, and those that mind, don't matter". Ok, granted this is more of a rule to me than a law, and for those few exceptions when I fell I need somekind of excuse/story, I would just say "It's just nice to step outside of the peverbial "box" once in a while.

[GingerLeigh]

Stop, drop and roll.... Aaagh! Fire I'm on fire aaaggh! Someone save my Gucci purse!

Once caught, there really is no contingency plan that'll put that cat back in the bag. Fess up and face the music.

Ginger

[James Kaon]

Aye, I agree with GingerLeigh. I have let a few trusted people know and although I did feel a bit nervous of the cat getting out of the bag, I guess I sort of feel that if it happened, I would deal with it then. I have no idea on how it would affect my career - but my parents who I love very much would probably find it very confusing and at odds with their faith. However, I truly believe that they would still love me so for me to prepare a plan B or disguise or whatever has not really worked in my head.

What will be will be. Having said that I still feel nervous of posting a pic here (of all places where its OK!!!) so although I have less to lose than I am sure many here would, it is something I think, wow, now what do I do??

I will figure it out if the time comes...

J

[Cynthia Anne]

SORRY" If you don't like the way I,m living, you just leave this long haired country girl a lone!"

[celeste26]

The best strategy is to fess up BEFORE getting serious then there is no confusion and no secrets to reveal later. Everything else is plan B.

[Janet Bern]

Fess up an minimize the damage as much as possible. The can deal with it if you only do it occasionally.

[GingerLeigh]

The best strategy is to fess up BEFORE getting serious then there is no confusion and no secrets to reveal later. Everything else is plan B.

Ppppppllllbh! Spoil sport! Plan B is much more exciting......terrifying.....

[Roberta Marie]

THis is who I am, and I don't care who knows it. Therfore, I don't feel have really need a back up plan. Whoever sees me, sees me.
I'm reminded of the old saying, "Those who matter don't mind, and those that mind, don't matter". Ok, granted this is more of a rule to me than a law, and for those few exceptions when I fell I need somekind of excuse/story, I would just say "It's just nice to step outside of the peverbial "box" once in a while.

That's great. But, I addressed my question to those that are still in the closet. But, thanks for your insight.

[ninapuella]

Theres no need for preparation as long you do things with a good heart. I mean what can really happen? Maybe i am naive i dont know.

[Roberta Marie]

The best strategy is to fess up BEFORE getting serious then there is no confusion and no secrets to reveal later. Everything else is plan B.

I agree. The best way to deal with a fire is to not have a fire to begin with. But that being said, for those that may not want everyone in the world to know, do you have a plan to control or minimize the damage should you be outed, say to an employer, a parent, or someone that you would rather not know, but now they do?

[Wendy_Marie]

Yes I have...and my plan is to just come clean and be up front.

[eluuzion]

hiya RM,

I have three rules that I follow. They keep me "safe" and I intend to try and stay that way.

#1
Always have a Plan A, a plan B and a contingency plan for both. Chances are good that someday I will need them all.

#2
Always make sure that the person my friends know as "me" is the person I would want them to "profile", should my friends ever become my enemies.

#3
Never share the exact details of rule #1 and #2 with anyone, as it defeats the whole purpose of making the plans in the first place.

oh, and just for the record...none of my plans employ the "drop and roll" technique (although I think it is good technique for people on fire). Mine are more of the "rock-n-roll" nature...

best answer I can provide for now...

[katrinakat]

I used to be cautious and prepared, I always had a set of male attire on stand by; Now, I'm prepared with eyeliner and lip gloss.

[christinac]

I'm not married and I don't have any real super true friends in Jacksonville to really worry about. The only reason I stay the the closet and shadows is because I'm self employed and the majority of my clientele are not and very openly not tolerant of the gay, bi, or transgendered, so quite often I nearly bite the end of my tongue off to keep from sticking a foot in the mouth, but to answer the question at hand, if word of who I really am ever got out it would probably destroy my business and force me to move from Jacksonville which is something I'm considuring doing anyway, so I'm not to worried about having a back up plan.

[alyssaenglefield]

I'm a sucker for planning ahead. The likeliness of me being discovered anyway is slim - but then they said that on 21 February about Christchurch having a magnitude 6.0 or above within the next four weeks, and the next day... 6.3 quake, major damage and 113 dead (so far).

Um... just go with the flow?

[Exie]

Yikes. I was just caught tonight and I'm not even fully into this yet. I guess my future backup plan would be to just tell them its a hobby of mine, and ask them to not tell anyone.

[Tanya C]

Well, my wife already knows and supports my cding as do other people. But if anyone else should "catch" me while dressed I wouldn't do or say anything unless they made it an issue.
Bear in mind that crossdressing is my right and I feel I don't owe an expalnation to anyone who should find out. However, if they wish to talk about it (respectfully) then I would certainly be willing.
But I wouldn't regard chance encounters with people I know while I'm dressed as emergency situations.

[Marissa]

Bobbie, assuming you are still in the closet..I have to ask..what is your back up plan? your means to escape????

I am out of the closet, but still not out to the extended family..

[donnalee]

I have three rules that I follow. They keep me "safe" and I intend to try and stay that way.

#1
Always have a Plan A, a plan B and a contingency plan for both. Chances are good that someday I will need them all.

#2
Always make sure that the person my friends know as "me" is the person I would want them to "profile", should my friends ever become my enemies.

#3
Never share the exact details of rule #1 and #2 with anyone, as it defeats the whole purpose of making the plans in the first place.

This is excellent advice; If you don't want something known, tell no one. I've always been a firm believer in having at least 2 backup plans. This increases your chance of success geometrically.
If caught, I think the best course is to proceed as if nothing unusual has happened. If they're uncomfortable, they're most likely to leave quietly. The chance of hostility is small; any questions should either be ignored or answered calmly.

[Roberta Marie]

Bobbie, assuming you are still in the closet..I have to ask..what is your back up plan? your means to escape????

I am out of the closet, but still not out to the extended family..

Fair question, Marissa. I'm in and out of the closet. My wife and immediate family know, as do a few close friends. Oh, and most of a congregation of a church that's about 30 minutes from my home where I have attended en femme and then the company that I work for started doing some work on their building. I am not out at work, or to anyone in my home church, except for my Pastor, who is one of those few, close friends.

My plan, which worked for the congregation that I mentioned, was simply to say that I'm not out to everybody, especially those that I work with, and to ask for discretion. There are other members of this congregation that are TG and several GLBT persons, so there was minimal explanation needed.

For those that I might just happen to run into, I would try to give as brief but honest explanation of what it is to be TG (to me), and ask for some discretion. Other than a few narrowminded relatives, I think that would suffice for most of our friends and aquaintences.

[Amy Lynn3]

My plan B....LIE! Not really, but nobody will be told about Amy, unless they have a need to know. I have not found anyone yet who needs to know.
I have been discovered by several friends, on different occassions and I let them determine the next step to take. Some years ago I was underdressed, while in a group of male friends. Two of them felt the bra I had on under my shirt. I just looked them in the eye, with a question on my face, that said...what are you going to say or do with this information? I said nothing and neither did they. I'm sure they talked among themselves, but not a word to me or was I outed to anyone else. At that time I had a very high profile job, but retired 5 years ago. If I am ever out dressed and I'm found out, I will do the same and let them do what they desire, with the information.

In my opinion....I don't think anyone is out there ready to do us harm if they find out we dress. Most of us have kept the secret from our family/employer already, so don't think that will be a major problem. Then, on the other hand if an SO gets mad, then that is a different story. You better have a plan B through Z.

[SuzanneBender]

I would yell, "Look bright shinny thing" and point. When they turn to look I would run away.

I came out to my wife a year ago. Prior to that I thought about this a lot. It didn't materialize so I can't give you the exact plan, but it would have consisted of begging forgiveness for not telling her and then moving forward. Hmmm that sounds like what happend after I came out to her. She is still by my side and as long as I have her support I think we could face almost anyone finding out.

My plan for everyone else that currently doesn't know is much like you describe Roberta. I would be proud of who I am (It took years to get here but I am). I would explain it as much as I could and ask for their discretion . If that doesn't work I would fall back to the bright shinny thing ploy.

[Crissy Kay]

My plan is to lie, like I"m just trying this on for halloween!!!

[Nikki A.]

At one time it would have been lie. Now if I'm caught by someone who didn't know before I'd just say "do the shoes go with the outfit?". Yes this is a part of who I am.