OMG! I can't believe I did that.

[Carla Stevens]

Sorry, a bit of a long post.

I actually managed to leave the house for the first time whilst dressed & went for a drive.
I don't get much time to dress as I'm still way in the closet & not even my father, who I live with knows about my 'other side'. He rarely goes out & when he does I never know how long he'll be. He's usually only out for an hour or so.

He was due to go out for a meal & I dropped him off at a restaurant at 6:40 this evening, so decided that as I've got the house to myself for the evening I'd get dressed & venture out for the first time ever.

It took me nearly an hour to shower, shave, get dressed & apply my make up (something I need more practice with & some lessons).
I headed downstairs & turned off the porch light to afford myself the cover of darkness to leave the house & get into my car on the drive. The houses in my neighbourhood are very close together & there is very little privacy.
I stood in the porch, plucking up the courage to shut the door behind me & leave the house, heart beating so fast I could hear it thumping away.
I stepped out & headed straight to the car, got in & started it up & drove away.
WOW! what a buzz. I couldn't believe I was doing it.
I drove around for about half an hour, but really wanted to carry on, having now made the first step.
I thought I'd better return home, not knowing exactly when my father would be home & wanting to get home before him. It could have been extremely awkward had I come through the front door fully dressed as Fearne, to be confronted by him.
Again the heart was beating when I pulled onto the drive as this was when one of the neighbours might spot me.
A quick dash for the front door & I was home safe.
That was so liberating. Terrifying yes, but I'm so glad I made that first step.

I decided to stay dressed for the rest of the evening, but imagine my shock at hearing the front door opening at 9:40, exactly three hours after I'd dropped him off.
My father had done his usual & come home early.
Luckily I was in my room, so I dived under the bedclothes in case he decided he wanted to speak to me.
I pulled off my wig & earings & grabbed a packet of wetwipes to try to remove my make up.
Lukily he didn't come into my room to speak to me & I've now stuffed all my clothes under my bed until I can put them back in my locked drawer in the morning.

[Billie Jean]

Congrats on getting out. The first time is the biggest rush but I now look forward to getting dolled up and going out. I have been out to a TG friendly club twice this month and am contemplating going back tommorow night. Billie Jean

[Christina..x]

good to express yourself don't care what people think

[Andria]

It'll only get better.

[Christy_M]

I can remember that first time for me...I am so glad I don´t get that nervous anymore. Congratulations. You are very brave for taking those first steps out.

[Rianna Humble]

I'm so glad for you that you have made that first step out of the closet. Now that you have done it once, you will find it a lot easier next time.
Bit of a downer about your dad coming back early though

[Jessica Who]

That's wonderful to hear, I can definitely relate to the rush you feel when leaving the house

[katrinakat]

LOL, I've had experiences like that when I was younger. Thank god for my mothers Lancome make-up remover! It so exhilarating going out in FEMME!

[christinac]

Just like eagle chicks, we have to take little test flights before finally leaving the nest and go soaring on our own.

[Patrice_CD]

Congrats on taking the first steps.

[Persephone]

Congratulations, Fearne! Your first solo flight was a success!

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Carla Stevens]

Thanks for your support everyone.

Bit of a downer about your dad coming back early though

Yeh, he has a habit of coming home early.
Last year he went out for the day one Sunday & I thought "Great, house to myself for the day". I got all dressed up etc & wandered around the house safe in the knowledge that he'd be out all day.
Just after lunch I was upstairs when I heard the key in the front door. OH S**T! How an I going to get out of this?
I did the usual & dived under the bedclothes, hoping he'd not come into my room. (I work 6 days a week, so having a lie in until lunch on a Sunday is not unusual).
Quickly I attempted to remove my make up as he headed up the stairs. He knocked on my door & came straight in as I pulled the covers up around my neck.
Luckily the curtains were shut, so the room was relatively dark & he suspected nothing.
He told me that he had felt ill so decided to come home.