genetic males

[michelle19845]

to all tv,tg,ts,etc. ,
do you ever feel that the genetic men out there just want to prove how tough they are and win conversations thinking they're always the "winner"?i feel like anytime i'm around men they are all trying to put on an act to be "tough" and "hardheaded".is it just me,i feel like that stuff don't matter and everytime i'm in an arguement with a man,he seems so "harsh" and "crude".there isn't any consideration from them and they don't have feelings or thoughts for other people out there.
it's like they don't give anybody in the world a chance to talk or say anything on a topic when in conversation with one?
it hurts inside anytime i get in arguements with men.they always offend and hurt my feelings inside and make me feel so "small".do any of you girls out there ever feel that way about men out there?no soft side to them,consideration,cares about other people or their feelings,they seem so harsh and hurtful.
if i was a GG or ts female , i'd never want to have a boyfriend or get married.i would only want women.they are so understanding and caring,they should be thought of as almost a (rolemodel) for mankind.the women out there don't get the credit they do for being the good people they are.it's so much better to express your femme side to them and be able to talk about anything.it's so hard to talk to men about practically any topic.it seems like you get a response or comment before you ask the full question.oh well,what can we do?
thanks for being here to talk to,you isters are so much help,thanks!




xoxoxo,
michelle

[Stephanie Brooks]

As guys, we're wired for competition. We're predators on some level. You don't go to the Moon by being timid, you don't survive by just being nice.

That said, my thought has been that if I were female, I'd choose a male. I know a guy I'd choose. There aren't many, but then as a guy there aren't many women I'd have chosen either.

[Holly]

Michelle,

I understand where you're coming from, but I think it's dangerous to characterize ALL genetic males using such a broad brush. I know many GM's who I find to be kind, caring, and considerate. And conversly I've encountered some GG's that would take you out in a heartbeat. I try and evaluate the individual, not the gender. If yout speculation were in fact true, we'd be in a constant state of testosterone wars around here. My $.02.

[michelle19845]

stephanie,
thanks for your understanding.it means a lot!it's hard to find people to talk to about this kinda stuff/feelings.i'm glad everyone in this group is so helpful!


thanks,
michelle

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Michelle, I'm sorry you've had bad experiences. Men do typically see relations with others in a hierarchial manner, while women typically see relationships in a more in a communal manner. But...

I know many GM's who I find to be kind, caring, and considerate. And conversly I've encountered some GG's that would take you out in a heartbeat.

Just read Dear Abby and you'll see plenty examples of both. And as the "mean girls" thread today pointed out, women can be just as cruel as men -- they just usually do it in a different manner.

As Stephanie said, better to judge the individual not the gender.

[Rachel Ann]

It's like they don't give anybody in the world a chance to talk or say anything on a topic when in conversation with one?

HEY - I'm a GM! And a transwoman. I think it's more nurture than nature here - we all had to pay some heavy man dues, and it involved being aggressive and disregarding our feelings and emotions in many cases.

... I think it's dangerous to characterize ALL genetic males using such a broad brush.

Thank you, Holly.

I don't hate my male side - I am just so fortunate that my female side came along to smooth him out and make him more soothing and nurturing.

[Vallari]

Guys are naturally more competative, and the fact that our society teaches it's acceptable for men to put-down/belittle other men in order to establish themselves as the superior is no help.

Once an argument starts with a male, his body starts using his penis as the source of thought and logic rather than the brain in his head. And the younger they are (especially around 18+ about my age) theyre hopeless!

Remember it like this, Robin Williams couldn't have said it any better...
"God gave me a brain and a penis, but only enough blood to use only one of them at a time"

[norbie]

Fully agree with you, the "macho" image in male is still to much. The sad story is that the majority of GG's still "fall" for it.
It will take an other century to educate true GG's that the "Macho" Image is like a house of cards, no character, blown away in the wind...
I don't know WHY God created man??
Norbie

[Rachel Ann]

I'm sorry, but I think that of all women, we should know better than do diss men (in general) like this.

[Lisa Golightly]

I don't get into arguments... life is too short, and I'm too bright. I have found both women and men of a certain type are prone to bang on about nothing with great vocal self-impotance. As a German woman once said to me of a mutual annoyance... 'Ze loudest drum iz ze most empty.' Quite right.

[Lawren]

Michelle.


That is precisely why I put out extra effort to be more considerate and understanding with GGs. Most of them claim that they are looking for men who are more willing to let their "softer" side show. The part that I do not understand is that, despite my lifetime of effort to be that kind of man, I have yet to meet a GG who will open herself up to me and let me love her. Too may times I have really listened to GGs cry on my shoulder about how badly her man treats her. Too many times I have heard a GG say that broke up with her man because he treated her wrong but when I ask her out, I get "No" for an answer and, without fail, a short time later she will be back, crying on my shoulder about the way her new treats her. So my reward for being a "nice guy" has been a life of lonely isolation. So, whta's the answer? I'm with you. I simply don't know.

[sportschick]

Lawren, one of the GG's on this forum might best be able to speak to your question from her vantage point, but read stuff like John Gray's relationship books from some enlightening perspectives(yes, my wife made me read em, OK?:-) )The short version: many of us are brainwashed into looking for the stereotypical member of the opposite sex, even though the reality often doesn't match the fantasy. Many women who want a sensitive guy find that when they get one, they eventually end up thinking of him as a wimp (OK, harsh, a brother then), especially if he's so sensitive as to be more emotionally needy than she is. If you come in from killing the deer for dinner (figuratively speaking) and then still have the patience to listen non-judgementally to her worries, then some women will see you as the strong-yet-sensitive guy. You might be too far into their territory, so they see you as closer to one of their girlfriends.

As to the original post, men , like women, come in all shapes, sizes, and psychological makeups. In the construction business I deal with lots of neanderthal sh*theads, but also lots of thoughtful, considerate, understanding guys as well. They're out there.

[sportschick]

Lawren,

For a comic aside related to your question, there are some greeting cards I've seen that hit the stereotypes( only slightly exaggerated) on the head. The women's version says : "We're looking for a few good men, tall, dark, handsome and rich, strong, yet sensitive, who'll know what we're thinking without us having to say it."
The men's version: "We're looking for a few good women, thin, but with extremely large breasts, who like sports but are not into committment, for fun times."

Sad how close to the mark those are in general! Good luck.

[Khriss]

though "Fred Flintstone" lives in any womans mind...how do you fix that ?

[Lauren_T]

though "Fred Flintstone" lives in any womans mind...how do you fix that ?

You're right, K. Sad to say, in order to fix that, GGs are going to have to learn to have the strength to resist peer pressure and make rational, conscious (not instinctual) decisions about what they really want and need, instead of what society at large and their peers expect them to do...

But reasoning is dismissed by too many pseudofeminist preachers as 'a male thing'...

Thankfully, there's a new generation of girls who are questioning and putting that crap aside, and know enough to put individuals before gender role expectations...

[michellejean]

i do love ggwomen ,i am sub.to them when dressed as a woman.i was married to a real good woman for over 23 yrs .when i was dressed as awoman she new i was sub. and when i was in male mode she new we would be on the same level and it worked real well for us.i love to do things for gg women i am not a weak person or a wimp .we simply new what needed to be done and we did them.we both worked we both paid the bills we both had things to do even around the house.we set down and talked things out and didn,t get mad and say things that hurt each other. she did not lie to me and i did not lie to her no matter how bad it seemed at the time.i know you are asking why are we not married any more .she passed away from the big(c) in 98.NOW i thought i had found another woman that would understand me being a crossdresser,,,,she said it was all ok before we married and it was ok that i wanted her to be treated good and on the same level as men.she wanted that and still wants it to day ,,,and she gets it from me ....but when it comes to me being michellejean she does not like it.so i can not be all of my self and we are going to call it quits just as soon as we get some things done.and i hope she will not lie to the next man,,,and i do hope he will tell her the truth.and i hope i can find some one else that will take me as i am.am i dom. over other cdwomen YES.when dressed,,,,but i love to wait on gg women when dressed.and they are allways on the same level as i am when i am in my male mode.these are my feelings and i am not sorry for that.michellejean(mrs.higheeels)

[CammyT]

[SIZE=2]Aloha,
So true, men as a whole, seem to be more concerned about their "image" as tough, macho guys. What ever happended to being a gentleman? I get into a lot of trouble here because I do open doors for ladies, assist my wife in and out of the car and I seat her in restaurants. I dress appropriately, comfortable from tees and shorts to a tuxedo. All this being done while in drab of course. Her girlfriends see this and give their boyfriends or husbands the "why can't you be more like him" thing.

I think society has some blame for this. The liberation movement in the 60's caused some of the confusion and many men kind of de-volved into their more primitive caveman mentality because they felt threatened. Thus the Male Chauvanist Pig came to be.

In drab, the biggest complement I receive is when I'm in uniform and I'm told I really am an Officer and a Gentlemen. Surpisingly I hear it from a lot of the lower ranking soldiers, especially the younger males! Hmmm, this has got me to thinking about (and being encouraged to) writing a book, something like 'Being a 21st Century Knight'.

Don't know if this is because of my duality, way I was raised, or the the old romantic movies.[/SIZE]

[Lauren_T]

[SIZE=2]...
Don't know if this is because of my duality, way I was raised, or the the old romantic movies.[/SIZE]

Or, more likely, some of each?

[michellejean]

thank you cammy for saying those things.i agree with you and when i go out with my wife i do the same things that you are talking about,pull out chairs, open doors, i will even offer a lady first to go in or out of some place before me .and again i am not a wimp.

[mand]

Hello Michelle Intresting thread. I'm trying to think how to make a reply without going on about it


I like men, my TS feelings and emotions make me think of men from what I can best describe as, a womans veiw. However having spent many years of my life trying to fit in as a man, I hated them because at that time I had to try and be one.
The further I got away from being in male enviroments and starting living more and more into my present and more natural role, my thoughts about men changed, I just look and think of them in a different way.
Now because I'm used to being able to express myself freely, without the male constrants in place, it feels like all the years of acting are becoming a slightly less vivid memory. I think I'm begining to find the real me.

How do I see genetic women? Not in a male way, nothing there at all. I look at a woman I feel completely overwhelming emotions of wanting to be like that but also at the same time a terrible sadness that I'm not..


Best stop there, starting to go on a bit


love mand xxx

[michelle19845]

well ladies,
thanks for your replies!they kinda gave me a lil more of an idea on how men can be.i'm around so many of them that have to try so hard to hold their "macho" role and be hardheaded in so many cases of life.
there probably are some nice onees out there,it's just that i don't see or hear any of them.




thanks for your replies,
michelle19845

[Penny Dreadful GG]

I suppose we all have to keep in mind that there is good, bad, and ugly to be found in every classification of people. It doesn't make much sense, does it, when people can't see a great thing right under their noses! I wonder if some are simply happiest when they are in a state of utter misery... complaining that they can't find what they are convinced they need, only to have their hearts broken repeatedly by that same type of person.

On another note, about acting in a gender-stereotypical fashion, I found that as a gg, with my ex (a cd), it brought out a different side of me. I was really protective of her, loved to spoil her with flowers, makeup, jewellery, clothing, had wonderful fun dressing with her, etc. I was a little surprised by this reaction, but enjoyed it regardless. I'm not sure what this says about me, and frankly, could care less.

It can appear that there is little joy in this world sometimes; let's seize upon each moment that happens our way, and enjoy the heck out of it!

hugs all around
Penny