Holy cow, I did it and it could not have gone better. For anyone considering telling your wife or girlfriend. I want to give you the play by play. I wrote down what I wanted to say and practiced it a hundred times. This is it word for word:
Sweetie,
I love you and I have something I have to tell you that will shock you and likely change the way you think of me forever. I’ve hidden this since I was a kid and wanted to tell you so many times but I always chickened out. Now, I’ve reached the point of breaking and have to tell you. I don’t know why today is different from the hundred other times I was “close” to telling you but here I am.
I don’t mean to pass my burden to you but I don’t want to hide any more. I am tired of being afraid that you will find out and scared that putting you in some unfair position will cause you to hate me. It would probably be easier for me if I kept this buried but as I said, I reached my breaking point. It’s my only deceit. I feel damned if I do, damned if I don’t.
I’m going to beat around the bush here because I am humiliated and scared. I don’t want to lose you. I love you and have always loved you. So, let me first say what this is NOT about:
I have not had an affair. I have never had an affair and I do not want to have an affair. I love you and only you. I love you emotionally and sexually. You are it for me and always have been. You are a fantastic wife and an even better mother. This is not about you are anything you have done or not done. I am so afraid of losing you that my guts are in knots.
I am not gay. I do not want a sex-change or anything along those lines. I like being a straight guy. I love being your husband.
I don’t rob banks or kill people, nothing criminal. I think I’m pretty normal, except….
From the time I was 8 years old I have been keeping a secret from the world, and that obviously includes you. I am a cross-dresser. There it is. My one secret out in the open. I thought I would take this to the grave alone. I kind of wish that you knew and were just afraid of embarrassing me but this is not something someone would reasonably suspect of me. (I found out to the contrary)
I am ashamed that I was such a coward that I couldn’t tell you but at various times in my life this part of me has been weak to the point that I thought I was “over it” but it has never been gone. I’ve had 40 years to deal with this and I still don’t know “why” I do it. I can’t and don’t expect you to understand. All I can offer is to be 100% open and answer any questions you might have. I am sure there are hundreds.
You have complete control of where this goes. I took step 1 now you get to own steps 2 through infinity. IF you want to discuss daily or never, that is ok. Participate or not, want see or not see that anything ok. I get no say in this. You can set any boundary condition you want and I’ll respect it and follow it.
I love you more than I can say. I’d die for you.
Her words,"Honey I've known for years. It's ok and I am kind of relieved."
Me: "Why relieved?"
Her: "I didn't know if you were gay or wanted a sex change or what."
Me: "How did you know?"
Her: "Every time I came home from being away my clothes were out of place, hung differently, that kind of thing."
Me: "I'll do anything you want, as little or as much as you like but I'd really like to just hang up my things in the closet."
Her: "That's fine, I don't care. I really don't want to share my clothes with you because you'll stretch them out." said laughing. "Any time you need to get away, just tell me and that fine too. I'm not ready to see you dressed yet but I love you."
There was more conversation but she is INCREDIBLE! God I love her.
xoxo
Originally Posted by Lacey-D
