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Thread: what are the chances of my dressing progressing into something more?

  1. #1
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    what are the chances of my dressing progressing into something more?

    I started dressing when I was 14 and now I am almost 24. In the last 10 years it has not really progressed any more than when it first started. I'm not sure if it had anything to do with going through puberty at that time, or if it was just because that was when I started finding myself home alone all the time. I have never been into "normal" female clothing, I've tried regular pants but took them right off thinking "what am I even doing?" It's always been underwear or lingerie or short skirts/dresses (the "*****" look I guess). When I wear these things I get this rush and its almost like I'm addicted to the scared feeling you get when you know you may be caught but I really don't want to be caught. I've tried a wig and lipstick a few times a long time ago but they didnt do anything to add to the experience and I didn't bother with them anymore. Just clothes and high heels when I had them. I never fel like I want to be a woman, even when I am dressed I don't think about being able to stay that way all the time. But my Wife and I are wondering what the chances are that it will progress further towards that way now that I'm not hiding it anymore and there is a feeling of acceptance. I don't think it will as I have absolutely no desire to go any further with it, but I guess you don't know what you haven't experienced. Anyone have any advise or experience with this sort of thing??

  2. #2
    happy to be her Sarah Doepner's Avatar
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    It's difficult to say what will or won't happen. You will read through posts here and find members who had similar experiences at one age and 10 years later were off in totally different situations. The important thing will be to remain open, understanding and in control of the changes you experience. With the support of your wife it could be a very interesting and fun time for you both.
    Sarah
    Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.

  3. #3
    Gold Member NicoleScott's Avatar
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    Jay, there will be those who tell you that they started because dressing was exciting, but over time their dressing evolved into some that just felt more natural and comforting to wear clothes appropriate to their gender expression. I'm not one of those, and I'm sure they can and will express it better. But my response is to tell you that my desire to dress always was and still is driven by excitement. I'm part-time, dress for pleasure only. There are a few things (like high heels, for example) that excite me, and that's called a fetish. There's nothing wrong with having a fetish, so don't let anybody diminish you for it. How it will proceed over time nobody knows. I would advise taking things as they come, doing what feels right to you, not pushing anything beyond what feels comfortable to you. Have fun!

  4. #4
    Member Valerie Nova's Avatar
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    I guess the question is, do you have a goal? I kind of have two: to be able to go out in public (at least without having to open my mouth) and have people not think anything's out of the ordinary when they look at me, and to have some pictures of girl-me where I look really good, that I can look at when I'm old and over the hill.

    I don't think there's anything wrong with those goals. Maybe I might start acting a bit more androgynously, so as to allow my feminine side to be present in my daily life more, and thus not so bottled up all the time. Nothing too drastic, maybe grow my hair long or pierce my ears. Try and get a Legolas look going or whatever.

  5. #5
    Platinum Member
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    Chances don't mean a thing. Over time, we all change. It seems you've been open with your SO about where you are at the moment, and if you are both comfortable in the present situation, then don't sweat the future. It will take care of itself.

  6. #6
    Member Tanya83's Avatar
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    I can only speak from my experience. I'm doing things lately that I once swore I never would. Take that for what it's worth.
    Life's too short to not do the things that make you happy.

  7. #7
    the happy camper
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    You are on the same trajectory I was, except for being out with your wife already--well done there. I will soon turn 48, and although I enjoy going out dressed now, I still have no desire to ever transition, or even to dress 24/7. I don't expect that to ever change.

    A lot of cds report that as they age the sexual excitement goes down while the emotional engagement with dressing goes up. I have experienced something like that. In my case, I believe it is due to a mellowing of the sex drive. Dressing always gave me a feeling of sensuality and being more alive. I find I can enjoy that now without it having to lead to something more.

  8. #8
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    For me it has always been the forbidden fruit aspect. Some lingere and some lipstick is all I really want, and when I had an accepting girlfriend I no longer had the forbidden feeling so the desire to cd mostly went away.

  9. #9
    Member JamieTG's Avatar
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    I was a masculine man who enjoyed wearing lingerie for most of my life. It wasn't until my mid forties that the desire to do more kicked in and over the past 12 years my feminine side has taken over. I think its pretty common that earlier in life its a sexual thrill but around middle age the reasons for dressing do start to change. Its impossible to predict so try not to get too worried about where this might lead.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  10. #10
    Joanie sterling12's Avatar
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    As you probably know, we don't have an answer for that question. Try for something a lot easier, like: "How many Angels live on the Head of A Pin?"

    From experience, I can safely tell you that a small percentage of Trans people do move on to full transexuality. I count myself as "out and about," as an active member of my local Trans Community, and often among these Gals (Non-Closeted and Actively Out) The Percentages seem to be higher. But even among this much smaller group I wouldn't say that it happened for anything like a majority.

    When people do "Move-On" to that end of of The TG Spectrum, the usual process often takes many years. You see a lot of middle-aged, and older TS Gurls. Whether it's a matter of money, experience, conditions, or whatever, I don't know. People in their twenties who transition? That number has to be minuscule. People who go from wearing an occasional piece of lingerie to dressing up and going out on The Street? NOBODY could even guess at those probabilities!

    Peace and Love, Joanie
    Last edited by sterling12; 03-11-2011 at 03:54 PM.

  11. #11
    Member Tanya C's Avatar
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    It's entirely possible that your crossdressing won't progress much further than it has so far, but I think the odds are it will.

    It's the nature of the beast.

  12. #12
    Member Renee_E's Avatar
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    None of us knows what the future holds. Each of us have our own level of crossdressing for our own personal reasons.

  13. #13
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    I think if you're satisfied with what you're doing and as long as that satisfaction remains you wouldn't progress. When your activity becomes unsatisfactory you'll feel it and that's when change occurs.

  14. #14
    Aspiring Member
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    What nicole said

    There's nothing wrong with having a fetish, so don't let anybody diminish you for it. How it will proceed over time nobody knows. I would advise taking things as they come, doing what feels right to you, not pushing anything beyond what feels comfortable to you.
    Great advice

    -Donni-

  15. #15
    a bit nutty
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    Not sure if I can say it's a fetish. It isn't the shoe/object that I find appealing. It's the imagery it invokes when I put them on. It isn't just shoes, its anything feminine and only if I wear it. Is that fetishistic? I don't really know. I thought that was something else, but I'm probably wrong since I was asleep in psych. 101 class that day.

    Will you go further? Odds are, not likely but possible. I have no desire to make my feminine side permanent, I like flip/flopping. You probably know deep in your heart where you want it to take you. Are you unhappy being male? Do you frequently think of living full time as a woman? In some way do you want to feminize your body permanently? Only you know.

    Ginger

  16. #16
    the happy camper
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    Just want to add one thing: You mention feeling "addicted" to the adrenalin rush that comes from the fear of getting caught. I had that feeling also, and for awhile the desire to dress seemed like a compulsion to me. That went away with time, acceptance and understanding. If you're concerned that the desire to "take things further" is going to come from that same feeling of addiction and compulsion, then I don't think you should worry. Nothing that I've done later in life has felt like a compulsion. I'm doing only what I choose to do, and I'm doing it on my schedule.

  17. #17
    Member DeeDeeB's Avatar
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    As with any human interest, the chances of it progressing is almost certain. Mountain climbers strive for bigger, more difficult mountains. It is what helps keep us motivated and out of a rut. There is no reason to fear moving forward, but it needs to be at your pace. In your case, the changes may be slow and not even very noticable. As someone else mentioned, very few go as far as surgery so the odds are against that. It is neither good nor bad, just what is. Mostly, don't stress over it, just enjoy the trip.


    DeeDee

  18. #18
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    You only get out of it what you put into it.

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  19. #19
    Breakin' social taboos TGMarla's Avatar
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    It's different for everyone. And we all at one time or another reach a crossroads of sorts, where we decide where we're going with this. Our journeys almost all had a geat deal of conflict, especially mental, and especially early on. But for some of us it remains an amusement; for others it's continues through SRS. I don't know what the "odds" are on just which way any one person will go. I can say that for me, I turned away from the total transition road and committed to a male existence with my wife. Being her husband is the greatest privilege I enjoy in this life. This didn't really change the desire to dress up and "be" a woman for a while here and there, but it did contribute a lot to the lessening of that conflict I mentioned.

    Any money found in the laundry is MINE!


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  20. #20
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    sorry for the long post

    I have been thinking for a little while about when I began to dress. I think it might have been around 16 or so when i realized I love things that are not socially accepted by the masses. dressing was minorly consistant but rare. I ALWAYS tried to put myself into a situation to allow expiermenting. That went for 20 years for me. on and off. Lipsick now and then. Got to go drag for halloween one year yada yada.
    Whats it called? Pink fog"?
    around 5 years ago I decided to take another step into the unknown mind set of crossdressing. I realized I missed the good, legal, excitement. So for the hell of it I bought a blouse, too small of a dress, and a skirt at a goodwill shop and said it was for my girlfriends great dane lmao! got a halloween wig at a costume shop with vampire lipstick. and dressed the best i could. At this point it was fetish drivin. I looked like hell! Really! I knew that much hehe. I felt real guilty after a short time and threw everything out i ownd. Over the years was a few things. not many. I LOVE a thrill so on I went. A couple weeks later i was driving around town in panties and a skirt. Then a few weeks later talking to prostitutes in a skirt while in my car. The thrill of letting someone know i was in my skirt was mind blowing for me. And I picked those people because i didnt care what they thought. If they laugh, i drive off and smile . Got into a fashon conversation with TV for about 20 min one night. It was never sexual interactions.
    Then I saw a video on youtube that was a guy about 25-27 completly transition to a female and a dang good looking one too! I just thought Why couldnt I be good looking like that?!?
    I played with some photoshop tools and did it. Made me fem looking.
    right before I joined this site, I dressed up and tried to look good. tried to look fem! Tried to look beautiful! Something changed me that night to strive for that next lvl. For me, Its a challange, The resault, the Taboo, and the fun.

    To the OP.
    Im stll new to it all. being on here was a recent big step. I have a passive personality but adventurous state of mind. I know another story of the past is no much of a help. But if you are like me.. In a few years you will be looking at getting just that little change into the mix. then another. I think it is natural for people to act this way. Its part of reason. I say maybe you will stay put... and Maybe you might one day say .. "Hmmm".
    Last edited by JenniferForFun; 03-11-2011 at 09:22 PM.

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