needing some ideas

[Shaz]

lastnight was probably the most awkward moment ever, my g.f brought up that i had a secret that i hadn't told her, and she forced it outta me.
i feel so much better now that i cd, and she is 100 % o.k with it all it's awesome, so i now don't have to hide all everything from been spotted hehe, she said she'd help me in anyway possible, but she didn't want to be directly involved with it all, meaning she'll talk to me about it, but she doesn't want me to cd around her. what would be the best steps to take to turn her around? i know it's a tough one and you can't force it, but i wanna get to the stage where i can sit on the couch next to her and she won't even care nor take a second look

[Kimberly]

Well... you can't force it upon her. But the more you talk about it the more comfortable she will be about it... then she might be able to see you dressed.

Take time for her to become adjusted though, and to fully accept you - in her mind!

[Felicity]

Maybe you can be dressed before she comes home during the times she is out without you. You'll be dressed when she comes home, but give her a hug and kiss, then don't delay in changing... at least at first. If she becomes comfortable with this, go from there.

[Natalie x]

Shaz, the secret is to take your time. Big shocks are not good for relationships.

So let her get used to it in theory, talk about it occasionally (not every oportunity) until you can sense that she may be more accepting. Then ask if she would like to see you dressed. Just take it one step at a time.

[Rachael Warren]

Hi Shaz, you are looking for utopia, few will find it.

I suggest you start with Marla's thread and work from there.

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...ad.php?t=13841

Remember Rome wasn't built in a day!

To achieve what you are looking for could take many years, or may never happen. Ultimately your destiny is in your hands and those of your SO.

Good luck, Rachael.

Hopefully Freya will put her spin on this shortly!

[Shelly Preston]

Hi
The first thing she needs is time, so make sure she gets the time she needs.
I feel sure she will ask what you like to wear, or want to see how you look but this could take months. Please be patient and careful, as if you raise the subject too often she may be more reluctant to do either.

I think the best idea is to have her chat in the GG (genetic girls ) only section in this forum, She then gets a chance to talk about it with someone who understand the issues she my have.

Have her contact Tamara for the joining details


Best Wishes

[FionaAlexis]

what would be the best steps to take to turn her around?

Shaz,

By far the most effective way is to carfeully break off your relationship - but stay friends. Once she is no longer romantically attached - she'll be quite happy to see you dressed and maybe even go out to lunch with you dressed as a girl. I mean you dressed as a girl - she would be dressed as a girl.

Fiona xx

[Freya GG]

Sorry thats not the way to go.

I had the same feelings I ran away from Rachael dressing but i came back. It takes time,and a lot of talking to get though it.

Leaving her is not right; Fiona is wrong.

If Rachael had done that to me we would not be together today.
And we had 2 children to take into account.

Rachael and i have a better friendship and love than you can imagine.

love

Freya:luvu:

[cindybarnes]

Shaz, hang in there ok, Im almost at that point she doesnt notice what Im wearing,,, didnt take long, 23 years or so
Cindy

[Dixie Darling]

Shaz,

Just as a suggestion, why not print out some of your best photos and put them in an envelope. Mark the envelope so it's easily identifyable and place it in a convenient location. Then tell her exactly what's IN that envelope and that when she's ready to look at the contents, she's free to do so. My guess is that her curiosity will get the best of her sooner or later (hopefully sooner) and she'll want to see your feminine counterpart. Make sure that the pictures you select are ladylike and the best ones you have. Once she's seen the PICTURES, it might not take too long for her to want to meet Shaz in person.

Dixie -- http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd

[Rachel Morley]

Hello Shaz,

I suggest you start with Marla's thread and work from there.
http://crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=13841

Well, obviously I'm biased....but honestly I do agree with others and especially Rachel. You might want to take a look at this too:

http://crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=12890

Marla mentions that you should not freak out if your SO seems to take a step backwards in her journey towards total acceptance. As for practical advise for yourself, I recommend that you take the "softly softly approach" and let your SO dictate the level of your cding at first.

Keep thinking loving thoughts about one another and I'm sure that you'll get where you wanna be.

[Shaz]

thanks ladies for this priceless information, i don't know what i'd do without you all, i showed her the site the other night and she had a read of some of the things people had to say about themselves etc, and she now also realises that there are other people out there who love to cross dress as well, and she doesn't feel like she's the only girl out there who has to deal with it so we've make a promise to take things slowly and do it step by step and maybe one day i'll be able to dress the way i want without her taking a second look

[norbie]

My Dear Mate from Newcastle, (yes I am only one and a quarter hour drive on the New England Highway away), pleeease listen to all our good members: take it VERY, VERY sloooowly. The way I see it is she accept it because she don't want to loose you, could be?
But don't forget this, our CD thing IS against the female nature and it takes long time, talk and commitment to each to overcome this hurdle.
Just my thoughts, I wish you well with this.
B.T.W. Are you going to The 'G'Club at all?
I have been a permanent guest at the old Star Hotel and I do miss it very much.
Norbie

[Shaz]

nar haven't been there for awhile myself actually hehe
nor do i really get t he time to go out working in hospitallity your days off are when ever there is nothing good on. but when something good is on your doing a 14 hour shift :mad:

[amandak_tv]

Sweetie, your eagerness is completely understandable, but you have to be careful. She has already demonstrated her acceptance (on some level) and a healthy curiosity (she just had to know what your secret was). Let her reach the point that she wants to see you dressed. Keep dressing. Mention it to her occasionally. Don't go into too much detail, but rather, let her curiosity get the better of her. Eventually she'll want to know more, or better yet, see for herself.

Have fun with it !