Quality of life (not even close to what your thinking)

[Jamie Parks]

Your going to have to bear with me here on this one, I sit here with tears in my eyes as I type this, just moments ago I noticed my 14 y/o female German Shepard kinda acting weird, all down like she did something wrong(I also have a 9 m/o German Shepard puppy and she tells on him too)so I got up to have a look around and as close to the door as it could be was a pile of "poo" I immediately know what happened my old girl is losing control of her body and can't hold her bowls anymore. I made promise to her and myself that no matter what I am not going to let her suffer and came to the harshest or realizations that I am going to have to keep that promise....I love her more than words can describe, we have a bond that goes beyond words, now before the mods move this Thread the link to my: first, cross dressing and now transgenderism, Faith(my old girl) came into my life at it's most traumatic point, the time I started to realize my more than cd status, and for the longest time she was the woman I could not be( atleast to me she acted very girly) she never judged me for what I wore or how I acted she was always with me because I lived alone and stayed home to dress way too much, and she actually understood me I could look with my eyes and she knew what I wanted, she always made me proud, me and my friends would take our dogs and go hiking and I never once had to chase or lose control of her she has always been a great dog...no friend and life changed for her just like it did for me, she adapted to a family, and new house and never put up a fuss, ....wait sorry this isn't my point like I said this is pretty rough on me right now, my point is she is a part of Jamie, she and Jamie were the girls of the house, and I cant explain it she helped me stop putting up the front and let the real me come out, back when she was young I had another dog too Floyd he was awesome but a bit of a loner and when I would sneak into the house late at nite dressed he would bark...she didn't, she knew that was the real me...I don't know it any of this is making since, but I am going to have to put her down, she has both skin and breast cancer, horrible hips, gets to regurgitating, and now the bathroom problem, she has the spirit of a pup she wants to play, she try's and still as loving as ever but at what point does her quality of life trump my love for her? I don't know if anyone can understand what is in my head but a huge piece of Jamie is going to die with her, we found each other when we needed each other the most, she was running the streets, I stopped opened the car door and that was it, instant bond, but does anyone else have a animal soul mate and especially one that has helped you somehow with who you really are?


I am really sorry about babbling I have known for well, always this day was going to come and honestly no one expected her to last as long as she has all things considered, that is how strong her spirit and will are

[sissystephanie]

Janie, I think I know exactly how you are feeling. My late wife and I had a pure bred Chow that we both loved, really as a person not a dog. Then she was hit by a car, dragged off the road and left to die in the tall grass. I found her there the next morning!! I haven't used her name, because I still cry every time I say it!!

Then later we got a black kitten which we named Elsa. She also was a pure bred, but I don't know what kind. She lived with us for over 20 years until we finally had to do what you had to do! It is not easy, but it is best for them! Be strong, and remember Faith is always with you, if only in spirit!!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jamie, I feel your pain about eight yeays ago within six months I carried two different dogs into the vets to be put down.
It was one of the hardest things that I ever had to do my eyes are starting to water up as I write this.

Orchid

[Being Paige]

It was just three weeks ago tonight that I had to put my faithfull great Dane dog down, It broke my heart . I miss him so much, I can't beleive he is gone! Every day when I get home from work and he is not there to greet me it tares me apart. This has to be one of the sadist times of my life. I know time heals, but right now it certainly doesn't feel like it.

[TGMarla]

I'm sorry to hear it. But it's the deal we make with our pets: we know we will outlive them, we make an enormous emotional investment into the relationships we form with them, and we know it's going to hurt like hell when they have to leave us. But we go ahead and make that deal every time.

[Joan_CD]

I had to put down my dog this year. He was 14 and was my parents dog, but they gave him to me as a puppy when my father was diagnosed with cancer. So he had a very special meaning to me and it broke my heart. Then we found our cat that ran away over a year ago. He was in terrible shape and we spent a ton of money at the vet. We had him less than two months and had to put him down.

Life can be very hard. No one said it would be easy. I am sorry for what you must do.

[lawnmanmo]

Dear Jamie
I know exactly how you feel and what you are going through. I had to put down my beloved Shepherd, Paige, down a few months ago. She also was 14 which is a long life for this breed of dog. I will never forget the morning I took her to the vet. It was the hardest task in my life. I watched her as the vet gave her the injection to easy her and then the final one that put her down. I held her close as I watch her take her last breaths and then she was gone. I have no regrets since her quality of life was now so bad from illness but yet my heart was broken and it will take a long long time before it heals. But what ever you do, don't hold back your feelings.

[Cynthia Anne]

You made me cry! It's so hard to give up your BEST friend! This I know, but it's just as hard to watch them suffer! So remember the good times you and she had! She will always be close to you! I wish the best for you! HUGS for you and her!

[Samantha W]

Hi Jamie,

This post is short, poorly written and choppy because I am crying now too.

I have had many cats and other pets over the years, but Doc was truly my friend and animal soal mate. I loved the others, but they were just my pets.
In many ways Doc was a better person than I am and I still miss him every day.

Just after he turned 18 he lost control of his body too. I knew this was going to happen because I took him to the vet for checkups. His kidneys were failing.

I brought him to the vet and he did better for a few days. Then he took a turn for the worse. On my last visit I took him a can of tuna and he made a big show of standing the whole time he ate. The look on his face said "See I'm still strong." Then he laid down, very tired.

The vet explained the choices. Medically they could do little. If took him home he would die in a few days. I knew it would embarass him to be so weak he could not even pee in the box. I knew what I had to do.

When the doctor gave him the shot I was holding him and we were looking into each others eyes. I was stroking his chin and he was purring. He had his dignity and his pride, which was important to him. It was 10:30, the morning of my
42nd birhday. Now I will always share that day with him.

I will always miss you Fuzzball.

I know how you feel Jamie. It is not weird or wrong. It is love.




Doc

[jennifer easton]

Jamie my heart hurts for you so much, I do know, this opens old wounds, you will heel but you will never forget, are old friends die hard, I wish I could give you big hugs, hold you till the hurt gos, I've been there also, saying this, no one will ever know exactly the hurt you feel we can only feel what we have lived, just know your not alone. Love ya Jenni

[StaceyJane]

My dog Blue died two and a half weeks ago. He was 13.
My wife and I were with him until the end so he wouldn't die alone.

The next day I buried him under a plum tree in my backyard.

[Oilpainter35]

MY thoughts are with you , and just know that everything will be well, and the times you had together. Take comfort in what kind of life you were able to provide for her....sending you an embrase.............Drew

[jazmine]

My heart goes out to you. I'm tearing up now. My story was pretty darn close to yours. I miss Alex everyday. But I know he's waiting for me. I just have unfinished business to attend to.

[Chickhe]

Its hard to go through, but better not to let the animal suffer. My dog had breast cancer and was really in bad shape, but she didn't show much pain... We took her to a dog park to run in the grass...it was a really good thing to do for the family to say goodbye to her and on the way home we took her to the vets to let her go. The hardest part was when she was running in the park and some other dog owners and animals ran up to see her and say hi. We just could not bring ourselves to say what we were doing... Still brings tears to our eyes 5 years later.

[Jamie Parks]

Thank you all so much for such kind words, i have always known about the emotional toll the passing of a pet can have I have always had a dog in my life, as far back as I can remember, but none of then even come close to the bond that we have, I have been sitting here all nite watching her sleep(and she snores very loud)tearing up every couple of mins. I have no heir of hers either, years ago I was going to mate her and took her to the vets just for a check up and they told me her hips are so bad that birth could kill her, so no puppy's from her but I did get a pure breed Shepard last summer and she did her job with him, he has her temperament, they are both lovers(meaning they want to love on you not attack you)I am not sure when I am going to take her in, there is no sign of pain or discomfort, but I can see her body is failing her faster everyday, so this is going to have to be done very soon. I will lay her to rest right next to her "mate" Floyd, she morned him for the past 3 years since we lost him(he was 17)even now if you say his name she comes running to find him. Sorry I keep rambling on she just means the world to me and I cant imagine life without her, once again thanks

[BOBBI G.]

Jamie,
My heart goes to you. I lost two of my best friends within a year of each other. I didn't have to make your decision, though. I had a male and a female papillon and lost the female on the recovery room after surgery, and my male ran into the side of a car, going to make another friend. The loss was devestating. Patience was my lap dog, sit all evening with just your hand on her. Pepe was the playful one. They, and their memory, will never be replaced.
I now have four others in the house. They belong to my best friend, (the sister of my ex-wife) and house mate. I love each of them, but they will never replace Patience and Pepe.
In life we all have some really rough decisions to make. Use your camera, for physical reminder of her and your heart for everything else. You have the young one, also, as a reminder of her, and life does continue.
My thoughts are with you.

Bobbi

[Tina B.]

I lost my Shepard over 15 years ago, I've never been able to replace her,just don't believe I could ever find a friend like her again, still brings a tear to my eye, just to think of her. Sorry you are having to go through this I know it's hard, but I would never have given up the time I had with my dog, no matter how hard the passing.
Tina B

[LindaC]

So sorry for your loss.
About a year ago, I had to say good bye to Cosmo, my friend of twenty years that I got when she was a 6 week old kitten.
About a month later, missing Cosmo, I contacted a shelter and my new buddy, Mikkie, found a home.(She picked me)
I will always miss Cosmo, but I'm so lucky to be able to give a homeless guy a chance.

[Shareecd]

Jaime,
I know exactly what you mean. I feel deeply for you. I did not identify my transgender feelings when m,y wife divorced me after 25 years of marriage but after she and the daughters were gone my Cocker Spaniel "Buffy" was all I had left. She helped me through the tears and set by my feet every day in my office. To survivie I had to give up my consulting business and started a landscaping business. Everyday I would come home and she would be there waiting for me just to love and accepted me when I cried or went out to the barn to try to keep my mind off of things. I had a beautiful deck and would set out there all the time. No matter the hour or the heat Buffy was there by my side. When everyone left I found out she had cancer and some tumors that eventually made it so she could not get around. When I took her to the vet to put her to sleep all the girls at the office gave me a velvet blanket and I stayed with her to the end. I had another cocker dumped on my by my daughter (they seem to replace things so easily) and know the day will come when I have to do the same with her. You are doing the right thing with your precious friend by not having her to suffer. I wish you well and stay in touch I am here to talk if you need to.
Jaycee

[karenhunni]

I think i know exactly what you are trying to say , the having to put her down is realy realy hard and heartbreaking but i think more than that what your saying is a part of you dies with her and i hear that loud and clear but please remember she came into your life for a reason and that reason was to help you be your true self so you see that in all of this it was never in vain it was meant to be so all things considerd thank whoever or whatever for making it happen it was all good and try depite your sadness to be happy for her and you
Karen xx

[t-girlxsophie]

I think any of us who has ever had a close bond with a pet will understand exactly what you are saying Jamie,growing up my brother and I had a wee Yorkshire Terrier.It was our constant companion we had her for 15 years where she became one of the family.When time came to have her put down,was devastating for the whole family and was my brother and my,first real experience of Death.That feeling kinda put me off owning another pet,but my wife and stepsons have pleaded with me to get another Dog,one day when we move home we will have "mans best friend" join our family.Our thoughts are with you.

Sophie

[UNDERDRESSER]

So sorry Jamie, excuse me, I must now go and cuddle my big furball.

[Sarah Doepner]

Jamie, I still carry a photo of my old dog in my wallet and he had to be put down over 10 years ago. These are bonds that are very, very deep and mean a lot to us. You have nothing to be ashamed of and have plenty of shoulders in here should you need one to lean on as you cry.

[kristinacd55]

Yup, your dog (cat) in my case although my first dog passed away when I was 11 (January 22, 1966 11 am) and I remember it like it was yesterday. They're a part of you and your family and it's like a person passing away (to me anyway!)

[Sally24]

I know where you are coming from. We almost lost our baby a month ago. When it comes to quality of life, you have to make the judgement call. If she is happy, and not in too much pain, then let her play. I think you will know when she is in pain and needs to be released. It's never easy........