Serious ballet dancing, like many arts, when taken to the professional limit, involves a very serious degree of narcissism. You may believe you are in a relationship with someone who doesn't even see you as a human being. A 71 year old dancer is likely to have a number of psychological problems...from personal and professional experience, and leave it at that.
I don't think it makes any difference. I've never had an attraction to natal women, but I am gender flexible with my SO.Originally Posted by kimdl93
I did make a point of asking the same question to two separate bi women. They each said they liked their men to be men, and their women to be women. But, they'd never been with anyone who is TG. Maybe if they fell in love with a TG, they'd discover an ability to be gender flexible as well.
My point is, what we think we like and what we end up liking can change drastically depending on who we fall in love with.
Reine
Yes i agree with you said here and that is exactly why I stated my disagreement originally. Bi people (either one or both) may be more accepting by nature. I don't know if we can say that is the rule either.
But the important point is that being open-minded is the most important factor for relationship success with a CD that I have consistently heard. I think there are many women that think they are open-minded because that's the way they want to come off, but in the end they're not and they cannot accept something way out of the norm. CDing frequently falls in that category and you hear things like what would my friends think?
But to turn the tables a bit, I think CDs tend to be pretty self-centered about what we do and sometimes dare I say bordering on narcissistic. It's all about us and how we are feeling. We rarely can put ourselves in the shoes of our partner and really attempt to understand how they feel. and then we wonder why our partner doesn't understand us?
Last edited by darla_g; 04-01-2011 at 10:18 AM.
Great point! It's amazing what a little compassion and understanding can accomplish in the bedroom ... not to mention a little romance. But, it's hard to convince people who are digging in their heels and who are involved in a power play (both the CD & SO) that this is what they're doing, since they're both so sure they are right and the other is wrong.
Reine
Very interesting thread. I have never had an experience with another man nor do I think less of those who do or who fantazise doing so. I HAVE fantasized (while en femme) of being in the role of a woman making love to another man AND/OR another woman while making love to my wife, OR by myself. Does that make any sense?? I have made love (drab) while asking my partner if she liked the touch of 'the other womans lips on her body' and said I thought the 'other womans lips tasted sweet'. I've asked her if she liked the taste of the other woman as well and she's said yes, all the while in fantasy land. To my knowledge, she has never made love to another woman (as we were both previously married, I know she has made love to another man).
What we BOTH have in common and what I think most of us here on this site have in common is an intensely creative side to our psyche. Most artistic people are creative to the extreme and I believe there is a good chance that carries over to the bedroom as well. Perhaps not with everyone, but with a great number of people.
Your thoughts??
I always professed to being bisexual, I knew this long before I came to the realization that I was also gender disphoric. To the OP's question I believe that while it may not be necessary for both sides in a relationship to be bi to work, both sides must be open to that idea, and as others have said these desires for lack of a better word need not be acted upon
Lora
All I want is a world somewhere, a place to wear pretty underwear
A dress, some makeup, hose and heels
OH wouldn't it be loverly
"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing"---Helen Keller
I can only speak for myself. My wife and I are both bi, with me being more bi-curious. Prior to our getting married she had actually swore off of men and lived as a lesbian for several years. Even though we both find members of either sex to be attractive, we don't act on it and are faithful to one another.
To answer the question, I think my wife's being "bi" goes a long way in helping her accept my being a crossdresser.
In the end, open-mindedness and acceptance have to come from BOTH ends. Don't expect me (or any other GG SO) to budge an inch or sympathize with you if you are acting like a prick.
No matter what my sexuality (bi, tri, straight) is....if you are a b*tch, I'll find a way to be even a bigger b*tch.
And, not "you" as in YOU, but the general you. lol
"Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
“What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck
Yes BI partners are better. Think about it. Most heterosexual women are repulsed if their man puts on a dress and heels. Traditional women typically like to be the girl in the relationship. The bi woman can indulge in her fantasies to be with a woman.
Being Bi, I'd say most certainly I make a "better" partner than someone that isn't!
*Warning* Objectivity is questionable and individual results may vary.
OK I've read this a number of times, and unless you have had a hetrosexual partner and a Bisexual partner, how the H e double ll can you answer this question. You have got to have something to compare with before you can say which is better.
Listen carefully to what is said, quite often you can hear what is not being said
The joy of correcting a mistake can bring pain to another
Since I'm very open with my CDing, the girls who I've ended up attracting have, more often than not been bisexual to some degree. There's only one I'm not sure about. I like the point made earlier in the topic about bisexual people generally being more open-minded, and that open-mindedness is a key factor. I think that's true, but I've always felt that bisexuals are (to put it bluntly) our target market. This is an entirely subjective view based on limited personal life experience. I've also heard the same thing that was mentioned by another poster, from one of my bisexual friends, that they prefer their men to be men and women to be women, so my experience may be just coincidental, or simply that I'm drawing from the pool of the open-minded.
I would say that from my experience, it can take a lot of the stress out of things. The tension around discussions about what you think and feel is greatly reduced. It also makes for some fascinating conversations about Who's Hot and Who's Not. All in all, it just makes for a much more pleasant environment when some things are just understood and don't need to be explained. And, the way things have worked out, she has been the one to empower and encourage me. Grateful for that! Always.
My first wife had a major problem with me as I sorted out my sexuality. That was when we were married 20+ years. We eventually divorced after being married for 30 years. By that time I had come to the realization that I am bisexual. It's not a big step to speculate that my eventually becoming a crossdresser would not have sat very well. On the other hand, I'm sitting here this morning (I'm 12 hours ahead of ESDT) in a Victoria's Secret night gown, bra, forms and a thong and wife #2 is OK with it. Would have NEVER happened with wife #1. And yes, I do consider myself quite fortunate.
My partner is BI. She was in two long term lesbian relationships. She is accepting and urges me to fully
express myself... but I have trouble doing so... inner fears, blocks... so I am slowly getting to where i want to be...
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Love your woman within...
Know thy self -- Be your true self......
I understand completely. As men, we have a lot of conditioning about who we are, what we think, how we function and how we look for starters. For me, the issue is watching what I do (at least in MY head) because you cannot unring a bell. There's a constant "is there a line that could be crossed?" and if there is a line "how would I know when I'm close to it?" in the thought process.
You'd think gay men would be OK with their partners dressing, right? There's an ongoing thread about this and most of our gay members say they find it just as difficult to find accepting partners as het CDs. I think it would be the same for bis. Some will accept and some won't. I don't know that sexual preference has anything to do with a person's openness to flexible gender. I agree with you and the others who say that it must have more to do with having an open mind, no matter the sexual orientation.
Reine
I know!
I still think to get acceptance you need to give acceptance.
Good Lord I know a few gay men that would have a hissy fit. CDing and homosexuality get lumped so much together that many gays are now having problems with drag shows at their clubs because it associates the two as being hand-in-hand. The gay men that I know love MEN...not saying that there wouldn't be a few that would be down for a man presenting as a woman...but, I think that really is an individual exception.
"Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
“What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck
I agree in most relationships the CD and the gg are bisexual. Gays typically like other men who present as men.
This is inaccurate.
Judging by the majority of stories from members of this forum, the GGs who get into relationships with CDers do so BEFORE they know their partners CDress. It stands to reason that the majority of these GGs are hetero, and if some are bi it is simply the same distribution as there is among the GGs who are not in relationships with CDs. See part two of my post for the percentages of bi and lesbian GGs, which, simply put is 5%. Not "most".
It is possible to be open-minded about flexible gender expression, without being bi or gay.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This may or may not be the place to post this, but there are people who study the prevalence of sexual orientations in populations and their findings are a great deal more accurate than anyone in this forum who may "believe" what is the rate of gays or bis (when members use words like "all", "most", or "many") just because they know one, two, five, or twelve people who are gay or bi.
So, for what it's worth, here's an excerpt from "Choices in Relationships: An Introduction to Marriage and the Family", by David Knox and Caroline Schacht (2009):
http://books.google.com/books?id=x8N...page&q&f=false
Last edited by ReineD; 04-04-2011 at 05:48 PM.
Reine
Seanmucle
not even close.
I'm ok with cd but the very thought of bi makes my skin crawl, and the same goes for my tg husband, so you are way off the mark.
Presh gg
what does cding have to do with bisexuality? Are you implying that cder's are less than str8? lmao
A gay man, and a hetero woman will be attracted (in a 'instinctive' biological way) to Maleness(tm), so it's certainly understandable that it would be just as difficult for CDs with gay men as partners, and CDs with het females as partners. My thinking is that people who are Bi won't be as 'turned off' by the sight of their partner presenting as a different gender, because they're attracted to both maleness and femaleness. I do think there's something to that argument.
A separate example: Person A likes ice cream but not strawberries. Person B likes both ice cream and strawberries. Who is more likely to like strawberry icecream? This may be a naive argument/analogy, but it's hard to let go something which matches my own experience.
Having said that, I would love to be wrong, completely wrong, as it would vastly improve my dating opportunities.
Exactly. Every heterosexual female I know is turned off by a CD. And gays tend to only like men that dress like men. Any woman that says she is straight and holds hands and kiss their CD husband while he is femme mode is just a latent bisexual. Nothing wrong with bisexual either. Just saying the truth.A gay man, and a hetero woman will be attracted (in a 'instinctive' biological way) to Maleness(tm), so it's certainly understandable that it would be just as difficult for CDs with gay men as partners, and CDs with het females as partners. My thinking is that people who are Bi won't be as 'turned off' by the sight of their partner presenting as a different gender, because they're attracted to both maleness and femaleness. I do think there's something to that argument.
A separate example: Person A likes ice cream but not strawberries. Person B likes both ice cream and strawberries. Who is more likely to like strawberry icecream? This may be a naive argument/analogy, but it's hard to let go something which matches my own experience.
Having said that, I would love to be wrong, completely wrong, as it would vastly improve my dating opportunities.
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