My Grandma is a Douche

[Lori B]

It may just be me, but I'm not comfortable with calling your Grandmother a douche. I lost both of my Grandmothers almost 20 years ago and I miss them dearly. Makes me sad to see this post. Nothing personal, just seems rather harsh. She has her viewpoint and it should be respected. Whether we like it or not, we are the ones out of the "mainstream". Just my $2 (adjusted for inflation).

Same here,,I lost mine also,,and agree with Phoebe....suck it in and show her respect now,,,you`ll be glad you did when shes gone

[t-girlxsophie]

Respect has to be earned,they just dont earn it for reaching old age,even our Elders have to earn it from us Youngsters (think I still qualify) her Attitudes,as I mentioned before were all she knew,so a little understanding could be necessary for her to "get" it,If after you discuss things with her,she still wants to remain entrenched in the past,then you've done all you can

Sophie

[linda allen]

It may just be me, but I'm not comfortable with calling your Grandmother a douche. I lost both of my Grandmothers almost 20 years ago and I miss them dearly. Makes me sad to see this post. Nothing personal, just seems rather harsh. She has her viewpoint and it should be respected. Whether we like it or not, we are the ones out of the "mainstream".

I have to agree with Phoebe.

In some cultures, the young folks are taught to respect their elders. Sadly, not in the USA, at least no more.

Perhaps it's time to sit with grandma and have a heart to heart talk with her about why you crossdress. But don't just tell her, listen to her and try to respond respectfully. You might bring her around or at least reach an understanding.

The other option is to move out of the house to your own place where you can do as you please.

[Allana W]

Hi Sara, I still miss my grandmother even though she died way back in 1965. She was a true Victorian woman having grown up in London in the late 1800s. I have no idea what she would have thought of my cross dressing, probably she wouldn't have understood it at all. But I do know that she had many interesting and wonderful aspects and rarely a week goes by that I don't still think of her. As the song says, its too late to tell people how we feel once they are gone... Allana

[Pythos]

Age only gets you so much respect.

I have to bring in something to this discussion about how the elders should get respect.

Should Pol Pot have gotten respect? How about any SS guard that got away from Germany and evaded capture and lived to a ripe old age.

Quadafi is reaching an elder state...should he be respected.

How about a grandparent that is fully involved with the KKK.

Really think about that.

Now. I have a better understanding of Sarah's grandma, and it seems she is more in fear of others reactions (hmmm, sounds familiar). Other than that she accepts and support Sarah, though I am baffled how trying to limit her is truly supportive.

I would understand their upbringing, but I would not accept it if it was sexist, racist, or creedist. If it has notions that now a days are considered hate full, then I will not honor those.

When I was young I was in the car with my dad and Grandpa. We were traveling down a street in one of the poorer neighborhoods. This was a thing the two did and to this day it sickens me. The would point out black people and make the best "impression" of them with really racial slurs (this was of course done with the windows shut). "Say baby, why don't you give me some money" and stuff like that. "Spade" was always used to describe black men. Should I respect my Grandpa for instilling that crap into my dad, and attempt to instill it in me?

Ignorance needs to be stopped, and if that means some poor elderly person needs to be shown what for, then so be it.

[Chastitycd]

I have a very backwards intolerant family who does not know about Chastity and hopefully never will. That said I have adapted a new attitude...treat your family like friends and your friends like family. That said when I decided to open Chastity to the world I knew I could not tell my family, so im trying to "build" a new family of friends that know about me and are accepting. So far its worked very well.

Chastity

[Amanda22]

Now excuse me, while I wallow in my shameful, dirty perversions. Let's see.....what to wear today?

You made me laugh. Thanks!

[Amanda22]

I don't know, I never bought into the "respect the elders" thing. Perhaps because I never knew my grandparents/aunts/uncles. I was taught by parents to respect everyone. As others have said, respect should be earned. I know several old, crotchety, intolerant, grumpy senior citizens.

[Marissa]

Okay.. I don't want to say it too loud and give someone a heart attack..but I agree with Pythos' comments.. ( Pythos )

Age does not = respect. Respect is earned..and at times hard work to maintain. And the age that you gain this respect or lose it can be at any time.

Given that the initial Title of this thread gives the impression that "Sara called her grandmother a douce", which has been clarified that she did not...just 'thought' about the name as used for expression.

And even so, Sarah did some clarification that I was about to ask for..since it seem more of an assumption versus what really occured.

Now with that said..just because someone makes some statements, does not make them close minded, ignorant, or narrow minded..sometimes its that 'freedom' of choice, that you might disagree with (since its your 'freedom' too).

Maybe in olden times when the statement "respect all elders" was understandable since the elders had concern for everyone in the family or community such as a tribe. Course with changes in time and thoughts of 'self-gratification', elders have taken wrong roads..

I have at times told my daughters that 'this is how I was raised or lived..and you don't have to agree with them..but remember..its tough to change me'