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Thread: How has crossdressing changed in your lifetime?

  1. #1
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    How has crossdressing changed in your lifetime?

    Hi all,

    I was just wondering about the changes in approaches to crossdressing have changed in your lifetime. Anything from personal accounts to socio-political commentaries is welcome here. Has it changed drastically from when you were a child? Has there been any particular decade or time period which you would pinpoint as being pivotal to crossdressing? Have any pop cultural movements made a big impact? Have any particular films or bands helped to alter perspectives? What has been the impact of the internet? Put simply, tell me how crossdressing has changed in your lifetime.

    Even as a 21 year old myself I have witnessed some changes with a greater blurring of the gender boundaries.
    I'm really interested to hear from you all. Please add your insights.

    x

  2. #2
    Gold Member NicoleScott's Avatar
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    Among the factors you mentioned that affected crossdressing, I think the internet was the biggest for me. I grew up before the internet, and as many other crossdressers of that era experienced, there was no outlet, no resource, for us to discuss what we were experiencing without outing ourselves and subjecting ourselves to ridicule, punishment, or forced treatment. Now we can have an open online presence of our femme identities while maintaining privacy of our real-life identities. This forum is great.

    I've seen fashion trends change, sometimes significantly, over the decades. But I seem to be stuck in a prior era. When I was a child even before I started crossdressing (when I believe my brain locked in certain things that I was attracted to), women (both in person and magazine/catalog photos) wore deep red lipstick, accentuated the eyes, and wore high spike-heeled pumps. I still think those things are the epitome of a glamorous woman, and are an essential part of my dressup routine. Through the years, other things got locked in as well: eyelashes, short skirts, certain wig styles/colors, painted nails, jewelry, etc. My desire to pass is far outweighed by my desire to achieve a certain look that, in my eyes, perfects me in femme mode.

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    Aspiring Member VanessaVW's Avatar
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    I agree with Nicole, the internet has made a tremendous difference in having others share their experiences and showing support of others. When I was growing up, I thought that I was a total freak of nature and that NO ONE else on earth was a male wanting to wear female items of clothing or feeling that way. The internet has opened my eyes and this site particularly has helped me, and I thank each one of you who contributes here.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleScott View Post
    Among the factors you mentioned that affected crossdressing, I think the internet was the biggest for me. I grew up before the internet, and as many other crossdressers of that era experienced, there was no outlet, no resource, for us to discuss what we were experiencing without outing ourselves and subjecting ourselves to ridicule, punishment, or forced treatment. Now we can have an open online presence of our femme identities while maintaining privacy of our real-life identities. This forum is great.

    .
    I agree with Nicole also, the Internet made for the greatist change in my life oof CDing.

    Danielle

  5. #5
    Breakin' social taboos TGMarla's Avatar
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    I'll agree with others that the Internet has brought the most significant changes to the way I approach crossdressing. Like so many others, it let me know that I was not alone in all of this, that I wasn't some sort of gender freak, and that we all (well, most!) are really just normal people who found a wonderful experience in the feminine experience. The Internet also gave me a conduit for shopping and purchasing my own wardrobe and accessories. Who knows where I'd be with it all today had the Internet never been developed. Gosh! Thanks Al Gore!!!!

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  6. #6
    Silver Member Joanne f's Avatar
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    I would also agree that the Internet has made a big difference but to a certain extent it is more within the TG community than out of it but you have the knock on effect that if more see that there are others like them and feel easier about going out then the more the public sees it , but that is not the only thing that has made it a bit more acceptable in different geographical areas, there has to be a big acknowledgement of the gay community which to a certain extent the TG community has ridden on the back of that and got benefits from it , then you have television , and that was the fist time i realised what i was when i saw a program about Transvestites and thought " holly cow i must be one of those" as before i just thought i had a few odd ways , so yes it has changed from when i started out on this journey but it is still a split change , as i said geographical area will play a big difference so will age as i feel that being younger you can be more accepted but being older you can be looked upon as shall we say not normal .
    The internet has made it a lot more easier for the wive`s/SOs to get information and help/support but that is still within the TG community, the general public just do not go looking for it as they have no need to but things are still a lot better than years ago when you had not dare let it out that you crossed dressed , now you get some acceptance,some that just do not care and the odd few that will go out of their way to make trouble so it has gained in some ways but still got a long way to go , it needs some sort of mass brake out by all to really get things accepted but that is difficult as we all have a different degree/style of doing it so it is going to take a little longer yet but it is heading that way .( i hope ).
    One thing i will say and that is if you are young and want to do it ,do it now as it is a lot easier for you to grow up with your friends knowing about it and getting use to it than springing it on them in 10 years time .
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Joanne

  7. #7
    Junior Member sweetjan's Avatar
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    I will agree too about the internet.
    The biggest change how ever for me is having a wife now that accepts my crossdressing and helps me with it.
    My first wife never understood and hated it, which at times made me hate it. Now all is GREAT!

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    The power and freedom of the internet really must have been quite astonishingly liberating for some of you more *ahem*...mature members. Like I said I'm only 21 so an age in which I would not be able to log on to the internet and know that there are others who share the same interests is a little hard to comprehend. It really must have been very isolating. The ease with which we can buy clothes on the internet must also have come as an incredible advancement as well, giving us the opportunity to only venture out in to public to buy clothes when we feel comfortable with the idea.

    Quote Originally Posted by Joanne f View Post
    it needs some sort of mass brake out by all to really get things accepted but that is difficult as we all have a different degree/style of doing it so it is going to take a little longer yet but it is heading that way .( i hope )
    How do we think we could achieve this mass break out? If it needed saying I'm totally up for a transgender revolution *dons red and black neckerchief*

  9. #9
    Senior Age Member sissystephanie's Avatar
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    While the Internet has definitely made some changes in my life as a crossdresser, the really major change occured when my dear wife died 6 years ago. She knew that I was a CD when we married and accepted me as such. Since she was the expert, she always did Stephanie's wig and makeup whenever Stephanie went out in public. I have never been good with either one! Now that she is gone I still go out dressed enfemme. But the difference is that from the neck up I am all man, and from the neck down I am Stephanie!! In plain english, a guy in a skirt!! Or sometimes a dress!

    BTW, Cait, I have grandchildren older than you!! Yes, I have been a CD for most of 60+ years!!
    Stephanie

    Lady on the outside, but man underneath!

  10. #10
    Silver Member Joanne f's Avatar
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    I am not sure that isolating is quite the right word as it was inbred into you that you just do not tell other people plus you do not realise that there are others like you out there so you just do what you do in secret but at the same time you do not really realise that you are keeping secrets that need shearing ( i know some wive`s/SOs are going to find that hard to understand) but that is how it works.
    Yes how to have a mass brake out that is the million dollar question yet it is rarely talked about on here on here no doubt due to the diversity of the TG community what would suit one would not suit the other .
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Joanne

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    Quote Originally Posted by sissystephanie View Post
    BTW, Cait, I have grandchildren older than you!! Yes, I have been a CD for most of 60+ years!!
    Crikey! Just goes to show the diversity of the community we are part of I suppose.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Joanne f View Post
    I am not sure that isolating is quite the right word as it was inbred into you that you just do not tell other people plus you do not realise that there are others like you out there so you just do what you do in secret but at the same time you do not really realise that you are keeping secrets that need shearing ( i know some wive`s/SOs are going to find that hard to understand) but that is how it works.
    Yes how to have a mass brake out that is the million dollar question yet it is rarely talked about on here on here no doubt due to the diversity of the TG community what would suit one would not suit the other .
    I can't begin to imagine just how bad that must have felt to not realise that others felt the same way as you. From a young age I've always known that I wasn't alone in crossdressing. Again, its one of those things that is difficult to comprehend when you have grown up in a society that doesn't have those restrictions.

    Yes, talk of a transgender revoultion/mass break out is rather conspicuous by its absence on here.

  13. #13
    Member JamieTG's Avatar
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    While I agree that the internet age brought the biggest change I'd like to mention 2 movies that I feel had a big impact. "Boys don't Cry" dealt with transsexualism in an informative way and "Too Wong Foo" had a couple of macho types like Patrick Swayze and Wesley Snipes not afraid to take those roles and present them in a serious way.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  14. #14
    A Happy Woman Darlene-VA's Avatar
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    For me some of the changes were seeing people like me on talk shows first and finally knowing that I was not alone, then being able to look on the internet and find a support group and start attending meetings. It was so important to be able to talk and be accepted as a woman without feeling like you were doing something wrong which really helped remove the guilt of the whole lifestyle. Of course the biggest problem I see nowadays is that it always seem that I am overdressed for very few women wear dresses and heels anymore unless it is a special occasion, but I still may get some looks but I also receive some nice compliments.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Life is too short dress whenever you can!

  15. #15
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    I think the internet was the biggest for me. I too grew up before the internet, and for years I thought I was the only one that crossdressed . I was caught quite a few times by my folks and they made me feel dirty and that I had some serious problems. So I purged for the first time and didn't dress again till i was about 30. Thats when I found out thru the internet that I was not alone and that the things that I was feeling were not so abnormal and they were alot of other "girls" like me out there. Now I'm going to start venturing out in the world as the girl I know that I was born to be. Thank you internet!!

  16. #16
    Member Samantha W's Avatar
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    Its changed HUGE. When I was a kid crossdressing was considered a perverted, and lower form of being a faggot. (I used that word intentionally because that’s the word that was used along with all of its hatful connotations.) And that’s what I used to think of myself, except that I'm not gay, so that really messed with my self image. I was the only one like myself and I was such a huge loser that I couldn’t even get being gay right! Until recently, that’s how I thought of myself.

    That started to change in the mid 80’s. Remember the show Bosom Buddy's? At least some of the hatred was turning to laughter.

    Now thanks to the internet and sights like this I know I am not a pervert. Most of the public still thinks we are a subset of homosexuality, but that seems to be changing too. Take for instance the experiences of myself and others in the post by AKAMichelle Unusual Situations? I don’t know the answer...

    I don’t keep the secret where I live because I have a problem with myself anymore, but because some people in this town would absolutely become violent with me or vandalize my building.

    Samantha still has to drive 2 hours to Minneapolis to feel safe in public, but I’m a lot happier now. My life would have been much different if I was 21 in 2011 instead of in 1985.
    When a woman dresses like a man, it's ok. But when a man dresses like a woman, you think it's degrading. Because you think being a woman is degrading. -Madonna-

  17. #17
    Silver Member Jilmac's Avatar
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    Ditto on the internet for me. During my experimental period (1952-1960) I knew I loved the look and feel of girls clothes but didn't know why. I had six siblings, five of them sisters, but on body to confide in about my interest. In 1960 I started dressing whenever the opportunity arose but still didn't understand why and thought I was the only one in the world who did such a wierd thing. I experienced a great deal of guilt, shame, and anxiety keeping my secret.

    When dating two future spouses I told each one of them that I enjoyed wearing women's clothes, which neither one approved of, however each one married me despite my interest. Again with on body to confide in I was relegated to the closet with my dressing until the internet finally burst the bubble of secrecy, guilt and shame. So I do agree with the other girls that the internet has probably been the most influential change I've witnessed in my 51 years of crossdressing.
    Luv and Jill


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  18. #18
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    I feel pretty much the same as many of the replies to this thread. I too thought I was all alone and had no one to talk to. I told my future wife while we dated (20 years ago) that I liked wearing women's clothes and she was accepting at first but became unapproving after a year, so back in the closet I went. It was lonely and my self image suffered.
    What's amazing is how long it took me to google crossdressing. I just didn't think of it. That's when I found this site last Oct and it has helped me so much. I'm seeing a therapist now (after reading of others experiences) and my world will open up. Steps.
    My marriage is almost on the rocks, but I haven't given up yet and we are going to get help, but that's another story.

    Internet.

  19. #19
    Member joanna marie's Avatar
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    I agree with Nicole, the internet has made a tremendous difference in having others share their experiences and showing support of others. When I was growing up, I thought that I was a total freak of nature and that NO ONE else on earth was a male wanting to wear female items of clothing or feeling that way. The internet has opened my eyes and this site particularly has helped me, and I thank each one of you who contributes here.
    Well said!

    The internet has been the biggest change for me
    I am now aware of the numbers of people that feel the same way
    If I had had the information growing up then that I have now
    My crossdressing would have never stayed in the closet for all these years

    This site has really helped take away all the guilt that I felt for so many years
    I now realize that I have a right to be me and other people may not accept it
    when they find out but that is their problem ,not mine

    Cait I can only envy you , 21 with access to all this information
    don't waste these years when you are really able to pass and enjoy current fashions
    The world may not be totally accepting but It sure is better now than when I was your age in 1971

  20. #20
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    When I started cross dressing in the very early 60s it was illegal. Being caught would usually mean a trip to jail and a charge of wearing a disguise to hide your identity. At the very least, you would be given a very scary demeaning by some bubba cop. People knew about guys dressing up in women’s clothes, but people didn’t really understand anything about it. I question if the average person understands it better today. Even back then it didn’t seem to bother women as much as men.

    With the talk show craze of the 70s and 80s some understanding of the different life styles all people encounter brought about knowledge. Some of it was good, but a lot of it was derogatory. In the last 20 years vast increases in the amount of news, documentaries and internet sites have given anyone interested resources that have never been available before.

    As for dressing, I have gone out dressed throughout all the years. In my youth I was told that I made a very pretty girl. I had a good figure so passing was not a problem, and I enjoyed being out and about. I loved pretty dresses and the lingerie sets of matching bras, slips, girdles, and panties. Even knowing if something happened I could be sent to jail. I really loved driving back when air conditioning in cars was not common so you rolled down your windows, pulled up your dress so the lace of your slip showed as well as your nylons reflecting the sun or street lights.

    Today I stick to shorts and tops, the uniform of the area I live in. While I wear bras I don’t try to pass. The years have not been kind. Some people notice, but most are too busy to bother looking at anyone. I haven’t really been hassled, but then I’m like everyone else, busy.

  21. #21
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    As kid in the 70s, because of television (Barney Miller), the movies (Dressed to Kill and Tootsie) and The Encyclopedia Britanica, I thought that my cross dressing and gender issues were at best a joke and at worst pathological. Best kept deeply hidden or else.
    The talk shows in the 80s that started to feature TGs and TSs helped address some of the patological associations.

    The thing that first made me feel good about myself strangely was "The Crying Game". There was something about what Jaye Davidson brought to that movie made me hold my head up higher. Then the internet, I was 30 before I had a personal internet connection, and I was on line less than one day before I typed in "transgender". In all of those personal pages I found people who felt like me and I have never felt alone since.

    Now the world is completely different to what I grew up with. It is far from ideal. But today girls are growing up out of the closet or at least not being told they are "sick" from very source of information available.

    The internet is possibly the best thing that has ever happened for our community.

  22. #22
    Aspiring Member Cari's Avatar
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    Agree on the internet

    let me know I wasnt alone and sure made shopping easier :-)

    I think I am slowly seeing people becoming more accepting.
    At the very least the early stereotypes that all CD were well "less than sane" seem to be going away.
    Last edited by Cari; 05-01-2011 at 09:24 PM.

  23. #23
    Gold Member JenniferR771's Avatar
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    The early talk shows that had crossdressers were a big relief to me, Mike Douglas, Geraldo, Maury...

    I just looked up 3 libraries--not one had the most important book--"My husband wears my clothes" by Peggy Rudd. Thanks Peg and Mel.

    My parents threatened to send my to a psychiatrist.
    The early adult bookstores had a few magizines--"Ladylike" and "Tapestry" for instance and then the internet, yes! First at the library computer, I found the "Fictionmania" site then I got my own online connection. i was not alone. No longer.
    Shortly after I met my first real-life sister crossdresser.

  24. #24
    Fab Karen Fab Karen's Avatar
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    Smile

    Well I don't recall any crossdressing where I grew up in the Highlands. But time marches on & things are always changing...

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  25. #25
    Member Tanya C's Avatar
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    The internet, no question about it. The sense of community that has developed as a result of the www has boosted my confidence to become more open and social about my cding. And that confidence has inspired me to go out dressed more often, and to meet other crossdressers and develop friendships.
    Yes, I'd say the internet has been revolutionary.

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