Bathroom/Restroom Etiquet/State Laws

[SamaraS]

Like most of the ladies have stated here, I go into the bathroom that is appropriate for the way I am dressed. I can't imagine going into the men's room pulling up my skirt and taking a pee in a urinal, although I do find the visual amusing. I have never been called out for being in the ladies room, and I do agree with the others that said it is a matter of attitude, not necessarily how passable you are.
In fact, I was out with some girlfriends one night and had to use the bathroom in the club we were at. The band was a TG band, so there were many t-girls there as well as our group. Since there were also drunk guys, I obviously needed to use the ladies room. Once inside the ladies room, I started chatting with a couple of younger GGs that had little exposure to TGs. We chatted for a few minutes, although one of the young ladies was already over the limit and she could not believe that I was not a GG. In fact, before exiting the bathroom, she loudly insisted I had to be a real woman and her friend had to quiet her down. I had to laugh, and I also thanked them for the chat and what I considered a compliment.

[daywalker1966]

Glad for the input here. This weekend is the first time in a long time I've gone out as my other self and I wanted to be that person, not half and half. Aside from that the club down town has antique furniture in the ladies room and the wife says I really need to check it out since I deal in antiques. It all sounds good.

[Sarah Grae]

I don't have the guts to go in either bathroom while en femme. Fortunately, I found a mall and a retail store in my area that have a private unisex bathroom in addition to the mens/womens. Most people use them for changing babies or feminine hygiene emergencies. But they are great for transgendered people who don't want to be hassled by either gender.

[Iztlacihuatl]

I've been out, not too much but I have had to use the bathrooms. I really do think its all about attitude. I am not very passable but when people see you in full wear dressed as a girl and you act confident then they won't bother you, because its understood that you identify(at that moment at least) as a girl and it would be discriminatory to prevent you from doing that.

That being said, I do live in California, so I'm assuming people here tend to be a bit more open, although as prop 8 against gay marriage demonstrated, not enough people are yet!

[Amanda Styles]

I have never been out dressed long enough to need a public bathroom, but I have been in the men's room at concert events when the women started coming in to use that facility
since it had a shorter waiting line.
That was totally overlooked by the security/police on hand, and for the short time I was there (with my former GF) there were no adverse events.
Everybody just wanted to relieve themselves and go back to the show.
This country, society, (the good old USA) is still way behind the times IMHO.
It really should not be an issue if you are there for that purpose.
I don't see many restroom facilities here in Atlanta for unisex/universal/handicapped.
At least the ones I have been to.

As for sitting or standing, If I did venture out in full girl mode I would hope the women's room looked better than the ones I have seen when I used to work as a sound engineer in lot's of Atlanta rock/disco/techno clubs.
I might want to hover over that seat, or stand.

[Maryband]

I have always was the women bathroom till I moved here. I just moved to Fresno and I was getting bored of being inside I walk to the local bar looking good. I looked in the full mirror and yea! looking good I thought, I had a chock on, forms, gorgeous white up town dress, markup look good, and was having a good time. Then I went to the restroom and this lady Katrina just looked at me with evil eyes WHAT are you doing in here your a man! OMG my tears just ran! (the move, It was a bad time) But mascara running down my face, I looked up, and meet her eyes! and I’ll never forget the compassion that I saw in her eyes. She felt horrible that she made me cry (I love women) We talked the rest of the night and I still talk to her Now if I would have gone in to the men's? In this town I try not to go I don’t know if I’ll meet another Katina,

[SamanthaCD1]

When dressed as a women, I always use the Ladies Room, I act like I belong. but I also try to find low usage restroom, places like Staples an Office Depot have low usage individual ladies rooms but I have also used dept store, movie theater, fast food restaurant etc. I also try to avoid restrooms with children, don't want issues with that. I feel using a Men's Room en femme is down right dangerous and think a woman would understand as long as we're respectful and private in our bathroom usage if discovered.

[Cheryl T]

My philosophy is "When in Rome....".
I'd rather risk the confrontation with a woman and some explanation..(never happened yet) than the wrath of some macho guy with his T level in outer space.

I have been in restrooms with women and children...one in particular had these air dryers that were like hurricanes on the wall. I heard the little girls giggling and the dryer going when I came out of the stall. One little lady was under it with her hair blowing everywhere having a great time while her sister watched. When I came over her mom said to her..."that's enough honey, let the lady dry her hands". That's mostly the attitude I've seen from women and it's nice to know that not everyone is cd-phobic.

[ArleneRaquel]

When enfemme I always use the ladies restromm, Ive been doing this for year and I havent had any complaints yet. I just do my business and leave - NO loitering !

[KylieA]

Iowa is a very friendly place. Being from Iowa, and returning regularly to visit relatives. I can attest to that friendliness. The hospitality I saw riding RAGBRAI four years ago was superb. So I would expect few problems in Iowa.

[NathalieX66]

OK, here's my story:
I was dining at a restaurant en femme in Morristown, NJ in January or february 2011, I can't exactly remember which month.
I had to attend the ladies room for obvious reasons. I'm a lady, so I use the appropriate door.
I was in a stall for close to five minute when a goup of real gg ladies decide to have a conversation for a verly long time by the vanity area, I would say there were about 4 or 5 of them........Yak yak yak.

I hesitated to get out of the stall for a very long time (didn't want to blow it) , but I decided to get out and powder up. I said like wo words in the conversation, put on lipstick in the mirror, and left.

They seemed way too involved in the conversation amongst themselves to notice me. ....I hope that was the case. I have no idea what happened after I slipped out of there, in terms of what they might have said about me. It doesn't matter.

I joke to my TG friends by saying "so now I know what women do when they go to the restroom".

[AllieSF]

I use the restroom for the gender that I am presenting. After more than 200 times out, I have never encountered a problem, with or without children present. That is not to say that it will not happen one day. When, and if it ever happens, I will deal with it as best possible and hope for a positive, non-scarring outcome.

[sputnik]

I use the restroom for the gender I'm presenting as well. So far, I've not had anyone say anything if they did notice.

Acting like you belong there is a great way to be invisible, which is to say, be confident. That said, I don't know that I'd recommend using a public restroom on your first time going out dressed in the world.

And, Loni, thanks for posting that site. Thanks a bunch, a great resource.

[Barbra P]

I haven’t been out in public a whole lot enfemme but last night I attended the Neutral Corner monthly meeting, Neutral Corner being a local transgender support organization. A few of us, including two other members from this forum decided to hold our own impromptu get together prior to the scheduled meeting. We meet in a private room at Coco’s. A couple of the girls ordered a beer and I decided I’d have a beer too, I rarely drink beer and don’t keep it around the house; well I keep some dark ale for cooking. My Daughter loves corned beef and I always add a couple of bottles to the pot. It wasn’t long before the beer made it presence known below the belt. I excused myself and said I had to go to the restroom, and I was told that being a woman to use the Women’s Room. Walking through the restaurant, of course the meeting room is at one end and the restrooms at the other, I was a bit self conscience being dressed enfemme and also thinking “Oh shoot, what if there is another woman in there?” There wasn’t and as it turned out I was in and out and no one even noticed that I had used the Women’s Room.

A couple hours later after dinner and another couple of beers, I had to go again. Walking through the restaurant one of the staff stepped out and said “Ma’am, watch out that you don’t step on that fork on the floor” and I couldn’t help smiling the rest of the way to the restrooms. Then a man coming out of the restroom area told his two small children to be careful and not run into the lady and the smile got even wider. This time after I came out of the stall and washed my hands, I noticed that my lipstick was just about gone and since I was alone I decided to freshen my lipstick and dab on a little pressed powder on my chin. Yep, a woman walked in, she glanced at me and we made eye contact in the mirror, she just smiled and nodded her head and went into one of the stalls. Walking back to the meeting room my confidence was considerably better and I wasn’t feeling so self-conscience, I actually noticed that several people, including a couple older men, smiled and nodded at me.

What are some experienced that you have had out enfemme when using a Women’s Room?

[Sarah Doepner]

Relief that I've been able to take care of my business and not get yelled at. That seems simple, but it's worked well for me.

[Eryn]

Considering that GGs don't consider visiting the restroom to be an "event" I try to take the same approach. I go in, take care of my business, make sure everything is in place, wash my hands, and leave. No real drama there.

[Diane Elizabeth]

I happy for you in gaining your self confidence in using the women's room. Keep working at it.

[Nikki A.]

When dressed I always use the ladies room. Wouldn't it be more noticable if you went to the men's room

[Leslie Langford]

I use the ladies' washroom all the time when out en femme, and while the first couple of times might have been a bit nerve-wracking for fear of what unknown problems might arise, this has since become a non-event for me. Never had a problem, an awkward look, or even been made to feel out of place.

I use the ladies' facilities mainly to fix my hair and make up, and when I do need to do my "business" there, I always make sure to sit so as not to attract any undue attention. I've actually had a couple of humorous incidents happen to me while in the ladies' room, one of which I highlighted in another post earlier this year:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/......&highlight=

Here's the actual text:

"An interesting "girly" experience - women's washroom edition...

Here's one for all you ladies who fret about using the women's washrooms when out in public en femme :

After a fun day out shopping yesterday as "Leslie" and before heading home, I decided to grab a bite to eat at the mall's deli restaurant, which is part of a well-known Toronto-area chain. After I had finished my meal - and no one batted an eye all the while I was sitting there, nor gave any indication if I had been "read" - I went to use the ladies' washroom. After I had finished and was touching up my make up, I saw a lady walk in and occupy a nearby stall. I was just preparing to leave when I heard a faint "Excuse me, excuse me..." I didn't react at first, not realizing that this call was being directed at me. When she called out again, I turned around, and became aware that we were the only ones left in the washroom at that point, so I replied with a tentative "Yes...?"

It was then that she asked if I might be good enough to pass some toilet paper to her under the stall as she had found out too late that her dispenser was empty. This was a first for me, and not being familiar with the drill (apparently, this is a common occurrence in women's washrooms), I winged it, gamely unrolled a length of toilet paper, and passed it on to her. She was very grateful for my assistance, while at the same time venting about the overall poor condition of the facilities. That was actually a quite legitimate observation on her part, as I had noticed the same thing myself, and I commiserated with her accordingly in our brief conversation. I even alerted her to the fact that the air dryer by the sinks was out of commission as well, and that the adjacent paper towel dispenser was out of paper.

I then finished up and before leaving, I asked her if she was alright now as she was still in the stall at that point - it seemed like the "gentlemanly" thing to do . She replied "Yes", thanked me again, and I was on my way.

This was an interesting "first" for me, and I'm willing to bet that here was at least one GG who was grateful to be sharing a washroom with a crossdresser - even if she didn't know it at the time. "

[Intertwined]

When dressed I always use the ladies room. Wouldn't it be more noticable if you went to the men's room

Because I don't dress to pass as a GG, I always use the Men's room, let me tell ya, I have caused a stampeede out of the mens room when they see me come in, please don't blame me that because they were in such a rush to exit they did not wash their hands..

[PretzelGirl]

An interesting turn of events while in Vegas with some friends (names withheld to protect the innocent). We had a map of family restrooms and went into a casino as it hit all three of us at once. After waltzing around and having no luck, one of our group darted into the men's room stating she couldn't wait. I then decided I couldn't and went into the ladies room. The third went on and I believe found the unisex restroom. So we had every possibility covered it seems and no incidents.

[Christina Horton]

Ya before you use the ladys room the first few times it seems like your doing somethng wrong. It feel like everybody's looking at you going to and from the bathroom. But as said many times here it's just a normal thing to do. Like you do everyday using the mens room , that is what (if you have not done or not much) must try to think about if your nervous. Just go in , do what you need to , don't look like your doing something wrong and then leave like a lady and youll be just fine.

[AllieSF]

I go out a lot and always use the Lady's Room. I am very confident and comfortable doing that with no negative moments to report. That does not mean that sometimes I don't get a nervous twinge or two. That doesn't bother me and helps to keep me on my toes, whether in flats or heels, and hopefully keeps me safe and sound.

[chris80]

I always use the ladies' room when dressed and away for tranny weekends. Two weekends ago in Harrogate UK I used the facilities and was washing my hands when a lady who was just about to leave turned to me and said 'what a lovely dress'. I said 'thank you very much, I got it from Debenhams store'. I was not sure whether she was the wife of another tranny or with a dancing group who were also in the hotel that night, but she did not seem shocked at my slightly male voice.
The golden rule in the ladies' room is always to sit and not to stand and pee on the floor.

[Sarasometimes]

Three days last week as Sara and I used the ladies a few times. Twice in Starbucks, they seem to all have single sstall version for the timid here. i also went to a very large spa and used the restroom in the ladies locker room. Probably at the limit with this one since the shower and all is right on your way to the comode room. Uneventful trips al around. For those still afraid, most salons have restrooms and if you simple walk in ask a few questions and then ask to use the restroom they will let you and it will be a secure place for the other timid ones here. I now can do the public restrooms but it is still an "event" for me, but I'm getting better.