Would you be recognized?

[PretzelGirl]

A side comment in another thread got me thinking about self perception. The question is, do you think that if you ran into someone you knew while dressed, would they recognize you? And you can answer this even if you are closeted because it is about perception, so reality doesn't have to come into play. Real world stories are definitely welcome though.

For me, I have always had a perception that I would be recognized easily. I have long hair and because of that, I think I lose a bit of the "camouflage" of covering a head of short hair with long hair. To get the most out of it I can, I tie my hair back in a ponytail in guy mode (although I am tiring of that) and always leaving it down in femme.

Two stories that go with this (shorthand version). I came five feet away from one of my program managers at a JC Penney and I took a quick turn into a rack of clothes. Nothing was said. But at a restaurant, I was with my wife and some good friends and a couple we knew showed up at the door. Decided to sit there and take my medicine, albeit nervously, as having the wife with me is a bit of an instant giveaway. There was no hesitation that I saw on their part in recognizing me.

So I feel I have enough difference to take away instant recognition, but I think I will be made fairly quickly.

How do you feel about yourself?

[AKAMichelle]

I always thought that I would be recognized easily as well. I have tried 2 experiments which show that most people don't recognize me. I have to add that this gives me a great deal of confidence when I go out. Now I know that all it takes is one person to recognize you, but I don't think it will happen anytime soon.

[Eryn]

...do you think that if you ran into someone you knew while dressed, would they recognize you?

The things that would likely give me away are my voice and height. As long as I kept my mouth shut and stayed sitting down I would probably not be recognized. Not worth the risk, though.

[sissystephanie]

Since I no longer wear a wig or makeup when I go out as Stephanie, I know I would be recognised!! But I am at that point in my life where I really don't care!! I have been going out that way for the 6 years since my wife died, and no one has even said anything to me! Unless you count compliments on my outfits!! I do generally stay away from places where my friends are likely to be, but if they turn up than so be it! If my real friends have a problem with Stephanie, than I will have to rethink their status as "friends!!"

[NancyTO]

Fellow members of my local TG Club who have seen me dressed and in drab till me they would never recognize me dressed. Just like Superman, I wear glasses 99.9% of the time male while my female self wears contacts 95% of the time. I usually wear a medium length wig with bangs hiding my male brow.

[VioletJourney]

I don't think so, except maybe family members under certain circumstances. I don't know anyone very well.

[sandra-leigh]

So far I am not aware of anyone who has seen me in both modes who has not recognized me; and yes, the implication is that I have lost count of the number who have recognized me.

There are two possible interpretations:

A) That I have some kind of very distinctive facial features (but that no-one has been able to point out); or

B) That I already look sufficiently non-masculine that people don't expect a big difference and then have had no more trouble recognizing me than they would if a woman got her hair styled or dyed.

The fact that 99.9+% of people call me "sir" suggests that (B) is wrong, but on the other hand my face can be mistaken for my mother...

It is a mystery.

[Nancie64]

I've had several makeovers and last October I had a makeover in Vegas and my sister in law was along and after the makeover she said she would not have recognized me in passing. Should make me feel good and not afaid to go out and meet the public, but still am. I would not like to be called out by anyone. My avatar picture is from last Ocotber and I do feel pretty good about it. Not taking the chance anywhere close to where I live. Going to Madison on Thursday and hope to dress for the ride home and maybe a few stops in between. Will see what my SO has to say about it..

[suchacutie]

This is the advantage we all have who maintain facial hair in male mode, and who take off or drastically change glasses, and drastically change hair, and completely change voice. That's not to mention physical shape and cleavage. And then there si the complete change of deportment and all body language.

Heck, now that I think about it, except for being tall in heels, there's not much left of my male presence when Tina comes to visit! It's been 5.5 years and because of this thread I've just realized how much Tina has changed. Now if she could only giggle!!!

[sandra-leigh]

I've tried the drastic hair changes and drastic glasses changes and the drastic cleavage changes. Voice changes have not been relevant, as I get recognized on sight, from a distance, in bad light, at an angle...

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

Relative to me I would think everyone would read me as a CD. Relative to a passer bye, maybe maybe not. I think this is where we can over state the issue of attempting to emulate a female. A bit like a person who attempts to cover up a lie or mistake, easily read by most people. I most likely would be so overdoing it, I would certainly stuff up.

[Diane Smith]

The only time I ran into an acquaintance while dressed, she recognized me immediately. And we had a nice conversation as if nothing was out of the ordinary at all!

Probably, though, this was because my "male" presentation is now pretty far to the girl side anyway. I don't usually wear a wig when dressed, so they're seeing the same hair, and I think that makes a big difference.

- Diane

[Cherry Lynn]

My sister saw a pic of me en femme and did not know it was me. She asked if the lady was a relative of ours and I told her it was me. She was shocked.

[Lorileah]

My mother didn't recognize me, my best friend that I have golfed with for 25 years didn't I doubt most people would. If I was out alone I don't think I would be recognized but I don't go out alone so the people I am with would be known and my car has vanity plates. There are keys to spotting me but 99% of people have their own agendas and really don't pay attention anyway

[Tanya C]

I've been told that my guy/girl appearances are subtantially different. I guess a major factor is that as a guy I have very short grayish hair, and in en femme I have long dark brown hair.
The long hair helps to disguise part of my face, neck and sholders which seems to go a long way in altering my appearance.

BTW, I know a few other of TGs who know me only as Tanya and I would be willing to bet that they wouldn't recognize me in guy mode either, at least I hope not.

[Nikki A.]

I think I would be recognized by women but not by men. Their radar is better. That said I went to a hallowwen party dressed and there were friends (not too close) that didn't recognize me at first.

[ShelleyMarie55]

I am balding, so I might be recognized because of my fuller face (I think?) My voice has always been higher, so everyone on the phones, always call me "Mam" instead of Sir. I like! I had Variety Beauty in Mpls help me pick out a more natural wig that looked the best to them for who I am. Being closeted, I am starting to be bolder & going out more in public. I will make my 2nd makeover appointment for this Friday at Macy's in DT Mpls (Estee Lauder). That's fun!! Then, do some shopping at TJ Maxx and the Dress Barn for a summer dress. When at Dress Barn, they are SO NICE & supportive! I will ask the few clerks I know there if they want to go out for a "girls night out" for makeovers together sometime. Or, another young woman clerk at the Thrift Store that knows who I am, will come up and talk to me as a woman whether dressed en femme or as a guy, to make me feel comfortable.
I would not want family to know right now on who I really am; later.

[Kathi Lake]

Sue, you've been one of the few in the position to see me "both ways" so I'll turn the question right back to you. What do you think? I think I am recognizable, but seeing this ugly mug in the mirror every day has no doubt tainted my objectivity. A member here was at my booth at CES and did say she saw me and that I was easy to spot - not because I looked like Kathi, according to her, but because I was the only guy in the booth that was, in her words, "pretty enough" to make a good-looking woman.

So, I don't know. I don't think I look that different, but just don't know.

Kathi

[Rianna Humble]

A GG friend showed some photos of me to a group of mutual acquaintances after we had been for a photo-shoot and none of them had any idea who I used to be.

That said I tend to be recognised quite a lot thanks to having had a three page spread about my transition in the local paper last year.

[Sophie86]

Close family members would recognize me. First, they would do a double take, thinking that I was one of my sisters. Then they would realize, "No, it's Him! OMG!"

There's a strong family resemblance between me and my four sisters, especially between the oldest, me, and the next youngest. They've seen me dressed for Halloween. My older sister swears I look like the younger one, and the younger one swears I look like the oldest, so obviously we all three look alike. (They don't have hips either.)

[Noortje]

When I see Noortje in the mirror, I am utterly convinced she looks completely different from the male version. I think this is mostly an emotional perception, though. Rationally I am dimly aware that we look rather a lot alike (let's say my facial features are "distinctive"), but this is drowned out by the emotional view. And a bucket of wishful thinking as well, probably.

Well, I am getting closer and closer to going out in broad daylight, so I guess we'll see.

[Noortje]

Just like Superman, I wear glasses 99.9% of the time male while my female self wears contacts 95% of the time..

Haha! And I always used to think Superman had a bad disguise. I guess the comic was more realistic than I thought.

[Tasha McIntyre]

No I don't think I woould be recognized, and I cite 2 references.

Firstly, about a year ago I was strolling through the mall when I see one of the guys I play weekend sports with approaching. I thought oh no, especially as when we passed we locked eyes for a brief second. Nothing was said and he didn't look back (I checked). Next week at training I went out of my way to chat with him for a while and everything was totally normal. So, I don't think I was recognized.

Second and most important, my wife after checking out my photos very closely determined that she doesn't think I would be recognized. For this reason she doesn't have a problem with me venturing out and about from time to time.

Tash

[Joy3]

When my wife discovered some of my photo's a couple of years ago she commented that that they were not what she expected and that she never would have recognized me. That sure built my confidence in going out as Joy!

[kristinacd55]

Good question, but I don't think I'm that comfortable to be dressed that close to home. Plus, my wife wouldn't go out with me dressed as of yet so there's no problem as far as THAT giving me away. I still only go with my group friends out at this point....