I am rapidly coming to the conclusion that many (not all) crossdressers really have a deep desire to be "caught" or at least get a huge kick out of flirting with possibility. I this right? Any comments
I am rapidly coming to the conclusion that many (not all) crossdressers really have a deep desire to be "caught" or at least get a huge kick out of flirting with possibility. I this right? Any comments
Seems reasonable. When a person resigns themselves to living a life of secrecy it weights heavy upon them. They often feel that being caught will ease some of strain. They also think that being caught will open the door to living a life that they really want to lead.
I would like to be caught again. I was caught at work once, my SO warned me "girls are going to spot your panty lines easily" and about a week later, I was called out by a female manager. She didn't actually say to everyone, she just asked me if I was wearing womens underwear, and I said yes. We haven't talked about it since, but it didn't stop me from wearing panties to work.
I think deep down we all want to get caught. I couldn't tell you why, as it will differ from person to person. I personally liked it when she asked, made me feel noticed, you know?
I think kate is right, I'd like to be open to people I trust problem is I have no one to trust, sometimes I wish women I'm around alot would figure it out and be accepting of me, and keep it under their hats, I would love to be just one of the girls, but while it's a nice dream the only person I'm open with is my therapist, I don't know how to push myself to be open to others about who I am...
I think I do, kind of. I posted a picture of my bathroom on Facebook and knowingly showed my makeup and other girlie things.
Not for me. Maybe because I'm a more casual crossdresser for relaxation, but I'm fine with it being a secret. I do have a CD friends to share with, though, so maybe that helps.
Everyone want's to be loved for who they really are; for those of us who have to hide part of ourselves, there's a desire to 'let' others discover what it is we're hiding, in the hopes that they will still like us. Unfortunately, that's not the usual reaction to crossdressing. Good luck with your flirtation with potential disaster. I hope you get lucky.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
It's obvious that some on this forum want to get caught, but I definitely do not number myself among them.
If I ever told anyone, which I never really plan on doing, I'd want it to be on my own terms.
My brother found a video tape of me dressing up that I made when I was still in junior high.... It was hands down one of the worst experiences of my life.
I guess it all depends on the point of view. If it is a CDer who is doing this for kicks and who has no feelings of being transgender, might there be a touch of exhibitionism involved?
But if the CDer identifies with feeling feminine even if it is just sometimes, then it could be a repressed desire to be recognized and validated for who she is.
Reine
Interesting question. I think all of us would like the respect and acceptance we deserve. But we all
Know that's not 100% there in the real world so that keeps us in hiding. It's all hard for us in the closset and I am sure many of us would like to get caught end all the problems associated with it. The fear of getting caught is probably worse than getting caught but is different for us all.. I remember getting caught by my wife and as one problem ends another begins. So yes we all wonder about getting caught but are frightened by it.
Has anyone ever wondered if the hiding in the closset is part of the cd thing for many of us as its a secret thing we do on our own. Does getting caught change the way you feel about it . Does the bubble burst
No. I want people to find out, but on my own terms rather than having to get defensive about it.
I definitely tempt fate a little more than I would if I really wanted it to be a secret. Why? I do not know yet. Perhaps I'll find out in the future.
Maybe there are also people who like the thrill of almost being found out? Like having sex in a public place, the fact that you might get caught enhances the experience? Even if the actual getting caught is not what you want?
I can relate a bit to the wanting to be "seen", as in people in cars next to me or other stranger scenarios. But "caught" ??
No, being "caught", particularly by somebody I know is definitely not on my wish list!
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Interesting question. I haven't been CDing very long. One thing I knew though was that I did want my SO to know about me as that would not of been good for her to find out otherwise. That went fairly well with all the questions and everything. Today it's not a big deal to her. Since then I have told a few other gf's of mine and they have been very accommodating after all the questions again.
Do I want to get caught, probably, I think it is the excitement of getting caught that makes it so fun. But the only way I can get caught, it seems, is to be partially dress in drab as I seem to blend in when dressed unless I speak, Can't get my fem voice going yet. And I look nothing like my make counterpart when I'm dressed so it's very hard to tell it's me when I'm dressed.
And if I were caught or outed I really wouldn't care. I'm at a point in my life where it really wouldn't matter. If my friends aren't accepting then are the really my friends. Everyone seems to think that I'm different already so it more than likely puts everything into place :-)
I agree with Sometimes Miss. Most of us do want to be loved for who we are.
As for getting caught? Eluuzion says we want to be seen, but not necessarily caught. I would agree with that. I like for my bra straps to be seen in a distant place or maybe a panty peek. I do not however want to be caught in my home town.
Well I guess I'm the exception, I do identify as transgender, but I am happy in my little closeted world, and have no desire to be found out by the world at large. I'm out to my wife, and can wear what I want when I want at home, and it seems to satisfy my needs. I've never been an exhibitionist, I have always tended to dull colors, so that I just blend in with life, and not stand out.
Tina B.
Magic is the art of changing consciousness at will.
I know what the OP means, but caught implies wrong doing and for the life of me I don't see that I am doing anything wrong. For the most part I must keep what I do under wraps, because I don't need the hassle if I walk around dressed like I want. I would enjoy the opportunity to dress like I want and not be looked down on or made fun of. Just my two cents.
This only reinforces what I have been saying all along. You fool NO ONE by "underdressing". You may think no one can tell, but the truth is, anyone with two eyes and half a brain will notice.Originally Posted by Jess Marie
The fact that no one says anything just shows you how polite most people are and how little they really care about what you wear.
Stephie
but its interesting that some CD'ers do push the boundry and would love to be caught.... I know as My everloving CD'er would dress for work and walk out and you can see a bra being sported under the work shirt,... my comment is hey.....unless you want to out yourself and have a lot of 'splaining to do, may it be wise to take it off...
or leaving high heels shoes on show with the male shoes...lol.... whether its deliberate or not......
I am sure there a lot of you that push that boundery...
yeh what stephie said....made me laugh....
Last edited by shesadvl; 05-13-2011 at 09:55 AM.
"A day without red wine is like a day without sunshine.."
when the devils feet hit the floor you can hear the good lord .. say "awwww crap shes up"
Eleanor Rooservelt "behind every man stands a woman"......
but then in my devlish attitude behind everyman stands many women depends, on many things or how he/she dresses..laffing
Remember, strength based in force is a strength people fear. Strength based in love is a strength people crave.
Yes, part of me does want to get caught. But the other part of me knows it isn't worth the cost.
I agree where others that for some it may be not about being "caught" but more a hope of acceptance. Feeling that it is OK and its not harming anyone and being respected and liked for who we are not what we wear. I for one believe my CDing makes me who I am but no one knows that but me.
My clothing styles are known by nearly everyone I know. My cding by people other than my mother, and my aviation buds. My Goth androgynous style, only mom mom knows nothing of. I try not to hide that aspect, no matter how "fem" it looks.
"I am not altogether on anyone's side as no one is all together on my side"
Tree beard. Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers.
I understand the premise here, because I will not deny the "forbidden fruit" aspect of crossdressing. However, I really don't want to get caught doing this by anyone. I don't like it when the doorbell rings and I'm all decked out. I don't like it much even when the phone rings most of the time. So the short answer is no, I don't much want to be caught.
Any money found in the laundry is MINE!
"This is no social crisis....this is me having fun!"
www.flickr.com/photos/tgmarla/
There was a time that I fantasized about being caught but no_ I really don't want to be caught
My wife knows I cross dress, but, she does not know the extent of my wardrobe. Does anybody else know I cross dress? I don't think so. There is always the possibility one of my adult children snooped around while growing up. If, they do know, they have not told me or hinted. Do I want to be caught? No! Do I want to be ridiculed by people who do not understand? No! Do I want to make my family uneasy? No! I would love to have any outlet to express myself. I want to be able to chose to who, when and where I want anybody else to find out about my cross dressing. When I look at the postings for the cross dressing conferences in Atlanta and elsewhere, I think maybe someday I'll be able to make the trip. I think it would be easier to be among strangers who share the same lifestyles.
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