Do you want to be a woman?

[gerigirl]

While I have had periods of denial, I know I AM a woman. Transition for me has been more than a 40 year struggle. I remember very clearly thinking something was wrong with me at 5, and I developed my first transition plan when I was about 12. I have so wished that "wanting to be a woman" in the way suggested here was enough to move me further forward in my transition. I have felt such desperation and regret that I wasn't strong enough to put aside my fears, depression, disappointment, anxiety, and shame those many years ago. The biggest irony in my life is that struggling with my transexuality has made it so difficult to address it as the core issue in my life. It is part of why I don't have the money for surgery and the kind of support that I feel I need to succeed in my situation.

What I "WANT" is for the society to accept me as a woman, but with my height, bone structure, and features this isn't likely to happen regardless of how much surgery I have. Hormones have worked a little magic, but I am always going to be seen as a transwoman first. While that is getting easier to accept as I move forward it hasn't been at all easy. Recent social changes are making it a bit easier these days, but I still feel like I am bearing a heavy burden. Some people have written that they wish they could transform in an instant, or start over if it were possible. I guess I will endorse this view as well, but I would settle for a body that just presented more possibilities or to be 12 or 15 again in today's social climate.

[Mistybtm]

yes most of the time but not 100% of the time I would say 99.9%

[Rianna Humble]

Yes I want to be a woman...Minus (pregnancy + Period). Would I be totally accepted by the sisterhood, no because as my mother says, you cannot give life as you have no uterus. Yes, that hurts.

Although I am a woman (albeit with the wrong body), those are two things I regret not being able to experience. I have always wanted to have children, but not by someone else carrying them.

Your mother's comments are extremely hurtful, does she say the same thing to any other women she knows who cannot conceive? After all by her standard they should not be part of the "sisterhood" either.

I would love to live as a woman 27/7.at my age like you it wouldn't be feasible to have surgery and my wife wouldn't care for the idea at all

Angie, I have had to settle for only 24/7 but I don't understand why you say that your age plays a part in determining whether you could have surgery. I can understand the point about your wife, however.

[Pattie O]

Yes,to be honest,I would love to be a woman and have felt this way since a very young age.I dream about the whole bit except maybe pregnancy but would love to be able to present as fully female and be treated like a lady(although in society this appears to be occurring less and less with time).To me it would be divine to be able to dress the way I wanted and to go out dancing or to the opera /ballet and being wined and dined and even going to the footy!
But ,I think to me it is just a dream and far from my reality so I have to accept the way things are and there are some very important parts of my life I would never want to change and the most important being my immediate family.

[Samantha_Smile]

Said it before and I'll say it again...
I preffer to have to option to present as which ever gender I like. Even if there was a magic pill that would transform my past present and future to that of me being female, I wouldnt take it.
Im happy with my life and to be honest I wouldnt change it.
CDing has it ups and downs, but so does everything else in life.

[BreenaDion]

I do not want to go through SRS or to transition, but if given the chance I would start my life over from birth as a girl.

No offense to the TS community, but I just don't feel that surgery and hormones could fully make me into a woman.

Violet sorry to say but we DONT take hormones and do surgery to make US feal like woman . We are woman from birth , unlike CD'ers who ARE MEN. Our minds are that of women and dont think and act like men, unless we have to hide from persecution, which is a heinous ordeal to undertake.

No offence taken .
Breena.

[Joanne108]

I agree. If society were more tolerant I would live dressed as a woman. I would love to do it 24/7! BUT I am a man. I fully accept that I am a male that loves to dress and look like a woman. However there is no way I would want to have a period, be pregnant, or have SRS! I love who I am. I do not and will not change it. Cross-dressing has given me perspective of how hard women work on their look. Also it has given me patience when my wife is getting ready. She'll say,if I try to rush her, "I still can get dressed to the nines faster than you". She is right! I take to damn long getting dolled up! I guess I am comfortable with who I am.

[Inna]

Just to be a slightly controversial well, not really because it is the fact, every embryo within the very first stage of fetus development is designated "default female" then depending on chromosomal and genetic information process of transformation of the sex characteristics happens. So you see, we all,and I mean all, were at the beginning a female anyway. We just returning to our original form, that's all.

[sabrinaedwards]

Hi Annie, when I'm all dressed up, my ultimate fantasy is to be complete woman. That fantasy adds to my enhansed feelings I have while fully dressed. I love being a girl!
Love, Sabrina

[Cait]

If I'm being honest with myself given the choice I would prefer to have been born female. However, that not being the case I am perfectly happy with being male and am very comfortable and confident with who I am.
I can't say that at this moment in time I have any inclination whatsoever to transition but who knows how I'll feel about that in future.
Essentially, I'm happy being me.

[KimMcNelis]

Thanks for the question... The answer is more complicated than a simple 'yes' or 'no.' That being said,... No. ;-) I don't need to be a woman to be who I am in the world. I can be myself regardless of the gender I'm presenting. It's simply easier sometimes to present who I am (or more of who I am) while presenting one way or the other. Would I like to be a woman? Sometimes yes, very much. However, there is no magic pill that would let me morph back and forth between female and male, and transition tends to be a one-way journey. Could I be happy living as a woman? Yes, probably so... though undertaking life as a transwoman is not to be done lightly; it is a necessary path for some, to being who they are. To having their body match their spirit, their psyche. Most of my friends in the gender community are TS women, and I certainly can relate w/them in many ways, and relate to how they are as people and how they interact with life. Most importantly, though, life is meant to be lived and enjoyed... and if one can live life and enjoy it sliding between genders, or staying in only one, then more power to them.

[LoriFlores]

Yes, I wish I was a complete woman. I desire full femininity and a correct female body. I hate my masculinity...

[BriannaCD]

The last time my wife asked me that, I answered as honestly as I could without causing great pain to her. Because honestly, the answer is that I would have been happy to have been born female, but I am unwilling to undergo transition and surgery to achieve that. I am unwilling to cause such great pain to myself and my loved ones in order to achieve what may be only a pipe dream. And the best thing in my life is the privilege I enjoy of being able to be a good husband to my dear wife. Do I wish I was a woman? Yes. Do I want to take drastic measures to become a woman? No.

I seriously cannot imagine what pain it would cause to my brother, my mother, my sister, my wife, and my good friends were I to suddenly undergo transition. I'd lose nearly everything I hold dear to me, and the end result would not nearly justify all of the wreckage it would leave in its wake.

Interesting reply Marla. I have known all my life I was different in the way that I should have been born a female. Being also that I have four older sisters does not help the situation much. One sister knows of that pain I endure on a daily basis and has encouraged me to go against the grain of what others think or say in order for me to feel better aligned mind and body.

My wife has known from the first month of dating that I was Transgender (M2F) and that I had a nice wardrobe full of nice things. As I was single at the time and starting transition. But being with my wife and being the father of her children was what motivated me to stop my transition. Today, I feel that it was the WRONG choice to make. I am sadder, more depressed, withdrawn, and less social today for making that decision.

"Where you say you cannot imagine what pain it would cause them" - what about the pain inside yourself? Mine kills me everyday but at the same time, my depression causes me to be hidden even within my own self and I could not see myself Transitioning within this life time. My mother came to terms with my gender issues about 10 years ago and knows that I still dress from time to time as does my sister, but given the opportunity to go back in time to my pre-teens when this feeling was strongest, I would do things differently. I would have told my therapist then that I was born in the wrong body instead of saying I was just being shy at school, and so many other things.

I guess I care about what others think of me more than what I think of myself because I cannot go through with it. Now I just dress in my home when everyone is out.



Brianna


Marla - Thank you for opening my eyes a little wider to what I have been feeling for a very long time. I have tried to express myself to others as to why, and your writing has helped to me. So thank you Marla.

[Alice Green]

I would in a heartbeat.

[kathyw]

yes i would if god will let me be one. but i dont have the money for a docter and my grandkids woulsnt understand

[Jennifer Marie P.]

I want to be a woman thats why I fully transitioned got breast implants and live and work as a woman 24/7 and waiting for my SRS.

[markinhose]

if it were only that easy to do it, yes in a moment, in a heartbeat,

i would. so many things that stand in the way, loosing a job over it, loosing friends and even family, not to mention the time, and money it takes. if only i could snap my finger or even go back to my birth and change gender right from the beginning like someone said previosly.

ive come to accept who i am, and im grateful to still be able to dress enfemme when i want and go out, date who i wish, whether im mark or shannon. do i like it? no. am i settling? i have to say yes. at times it is depressing. but i enjoy and still make the best of what and who i am....

[kimdl93]

Would I undergo surgery and HRT, no. Would I dress 24/7 - doesn't work with family and professional responsibilities. Would I like to be a woman...god yes!

[Nicole Rose]

Sometimes I fantasize but I feel like I could never do it.

[stockinged nemo]

I don't want to be a woman but find it fun and sexy to try and look like one. I would never want to permanantly become a woman, but I have fantasized about switching places with other women for a day.

[tinysquid]

i would love to- wold change in a minute! =]

[Farrah Rose]

I love being a man, but also love becoming a woman. I like having the option to become feminine from time to time and at the end go back to my normal male self. I dont want to lose that, so i dont really want to be a full-time woman.

[Shanice]

The more I actually dress and think about it I do. I find myself driving in boy mode, listening to music, and feeling really feminine. I can see myself being full woman more often than not. It really is confusing and frustrating.

[amielts]

When we confess our desire to wear women's clothing to our SO either before or after marriage or the relationship that we mutually agree to enter, one of the first questions we are asked is, "Do you want to be a woman?"

I guess everyone really needs to explore this issue and be truthful about it. Lying about this will hurt both parties involved.

As for me, I am transitioning full-time, because I have explored the issue and that's what I want to do.

[karren G]

When we confess our desire to wear women's clothing to our SO either before or after marriage or the relationship that we mutually agree to enter, one of the first questions we are asked is, "Do you want to be a woman?" As I remember my response, it was "Oh no, I am a man and want to remain one!" At least something pretty close to that. As I have read so many threads and replies, my answer seems to be fairly representative of the answers most of you have shared. But after all the years and all the miles we have all put in dressing and perfecting our desire to project a female image and be accepted as a woman, did we really answer the question truthfully?

For me the truthful answer should have been: "No, I don't want to go through surgery but if given the chance I would live as a female 24/7." How many of you have come to the same conclusion?

Some dress only occasionally, some dress every day, some travel as women, some want to work full-time as women, some share the desire to be accepted as a woman, and some are taking hormones, have undergone surgery for breast implants and some have made the final decision to undergo SRS.

I have come to the conclusion that with the family obligations and the years that have passed, that it is not financially feasible to have surgery but perhaps I would decide the live as Annie once I retire, the rest of my life.

Be honest! Given the chance, do you want to be a woman?

If you lived in south wales GB they are all for funding SRS as stated on the tv and the artical said on itv wales that most that want SRS are mostly about 52 years of age and that the NHS would encorage and fund there SRS - now that's a thought if i did decied i wanted to one day as the wife is always buying more sexy underware and dresses etc, and dose not mind me femanine in front of her even in bed in a camisole and frilly knikers she has bough me or given me hers - I love her lots , and she is very accepting of my femanine side compleatly.