OMG! I think my daughter knows!!!! ....& I'm about to freak out!!!!

[Theresa_W]

I just got on my computer and noticed that an icon for my "other" photo program was in the dock (mac). I had not put it there, it was buried in the applications folder for a reason!!! It happens to be the software I used over a year ago to edit pictures my wife took of me dressed. (absolutely nothing bad, or racy.) Just dressed in some of my nice feminine clothing. I had purposely set up another user account on the computer, totally separate, for my daughter and her step-sister (the step-daughter knows, is older & is cool with my dressing.) to use. I didn't even realize my daughter new my password!!!!!

Anyway, apparently she has been using it to edit her own photos & there is no way she missed the pictures of me!

I have a feeling that she's kind of had an idea for a while now.... she, my wife, and her step-sister have "played a joke" on me by doing my nails while I sleep, and that I don't take it off right away. Also, she has been told by my wife that I am "The Chief Color Tester" for her nails. In other words she "tests" it out on my fingers or toes before she'll try it on herself.

I really don't think it's going to be a very big deal with her. It's just something I wasn't expecting to find. & not really the way I wanted her to find out. As I sit here typing this I'm beginning to calm down. Starting to breath again. But, in the back of my mind, I have to wonder if she's said anything to anyone?!?! Most of all her MOTHER!!! Two years ago I went through a year long custody battle w/ her Mother, and won. If anything, her mother might laugh it off...I only say this because, her mother has dressed me up for "Halloween" once, and she had a great time doing it!

I know I have to talk to her about it....... I'm just not sure how to approach it. Though she is just barely 13, she is very smart and mature for her age.

I am soooooo confused!!!! I don't know what to think or do! Thank Goodness she is not home right now or I would be sooo embarrass! I think I turned 7 shades of pink and red when I realized that my pictures where mixed in with hers!

Any advice?!?!?!

P.S. Sorry if I'm being long winded & all over the place.....I just can't seem to think straight right now. Also, if this is the wrong place to post this, I apologize.

[Talon DeRojo]

Theresa - Why not start by sharing what you mentioned here with your wife and see what she thinks? Since she already knows, I'd want to run any ideas on how to handle this by her first. Maybe she's more aware of what your daughter knows/suspects.
Talon

[Lorileah]

you have two choices, don't do anything and let her come to you (which sounds like what you would want to do since for some reason you don't think she can handle the truth) OR ask her if she was in that folder and if she would like to talk about anything.

At this point i am thinking she already knew, it wasn't a big deal and she just blew it off. She is a teenager who knows everything in the world right now and she probably doesn't think it is a major issue.

(I sleep heavy but I think if someone was putting cold wet polish on my nails I would wake up...but then again I have never had that "trick" played on me)

[Daphne Renee]

If she is mature for her age like you stated then maybe you could just talk to her about it. Maybe she thinks it no big deal. As for who she would tell . I am not sure her other teenage friends would really care. I wouldnt worry too much about her talking to her mother. Your not married to her anymore and there is nothing illegal about what your doing.

[Barbra P]

Hi Theresa

Could you tell her that the pictures were taken at Halloween? Like the others, I suspect that she may already know, and I also think it may not be a big deal. My own daughter found out at about that age (she is now 28) and it turns out she thought it was great; she is a huge supporter and took me shopping for feminine clothes at the Avenue today. I went in drab, but later wish I was en femme.

[Chickhe]

Tell her, ...I noticed the icon, make sure you don't delete any of my old halloween photos...

...see if she responds with, no prob...or oh my gawd, are those you?!

[Jill Devine]

Oh for goodness sake, tell her.

I remember when I gave a copy of my "coming out the clothing closet letter" to my then 14 yr old step daughter. My wife asked her how she feels. Her response? "Daddy wears women's clothes - that's so cool."

The younger generation is very open minded.

[Theresa_W]

Update!

I talked to my wife, and she said she didn't think we needed to tell her right now. As for me, I'm not sure. I have mixed feelings on the whole thing. I went to pick her up at a friend's house last night, and the ride home was kind of awkward, for me. I don't think she noticed at all. LOL

As I kind of stated before. She's gotten used to seeing my toenails painted, pretty much all of the time and doesn't even comment about them anymore. Unless it's to say something like "nice color", etc...

I have to think this over some more. Thank you for your suggestions, keep 'em coming. I need all the advice I can get!

Terri

[Gerrijerry]

don't ask, her about it. If she has interest then she will ask you or more likely MOM. I really think you are over reacting and if there was a problem she would have already talked about it.

[KandisTX]

Children are smarter than we often give them credit for being. If your daughter is anything like mine, she has probably figured out that you are a crossdresser by now and it most likely doesn't bother her. Has her attitude toward you changed any since she was on the computer? If not, I wouldn't worry about it. My own daughter figured out about my crossdressing all on her own, and when she did ask about it, my wife and I were honest with her and told her the truth, she listened and it was all good.

[Pythos]

Sounds like you need to nip this thing in the bud.

Sit her down with mom, and be honest with your daughter. If you face a barrage, then just chock it up to the experience of not being open and honest with your daughter in the first place.

Not meaning to be acusatory, but this notion of hiding from your children only propagates the idea that crossdressing is something to be ashamed of.

[docrobbysherry]

My teen daughter is self absorbed she doesn't notice ANYTHING that doesn't involve her, or falls into her immediate interest range! If yours is like mine, she's already forgotten seeing anything. If, in fact, she looked! U said they were NOT racy?

On the other hand, if my daughter saw Sherry's pics, she MITE remember them! As some r completely naked. (No, NOT dirty or explicit!) But, I'm pretty sure she'd NEVER believe they r pics of ME! LOL!

[DonnaT]

First of all, don't be embarrassed. Play it cool. You don't want her to the idea that there is something wrong with it.

Open the conversation with discussion about the editing program, and what she thinks about it.

Then casually mention that you noticed she opened a picture you had edited, and ask her what she thought.

Heck, she may think it was photo-shopped.

[NyssaF]

I can understand why you were freaking out. Odds are, though, that it isn't anything to worry 'bout. Your daughter probably just chuckled at her silly dad and then moved on to editing her photos.